Depression . . .

Comments are fine.

So for a general me. I used to be the golden child. I have a younger and older sister that act half their age. I have had depression for about four years but last year it hit hard and has been getting worse. I couldn't focus or concentrate. I could understand individual words but putting them together wasn't clicking. My grades took a nosedive from the usual straight A's to F's. I was tired and exhuasted. Talking, smiling, laughing, socializing, eating, moving: All exhuasting. I tried make coffee but gave up ater grabbing the mug. I've had no one to talk to. My parents are very judgmental and straightminded. So fear kept me away. Which led me here . . .

I finally talked to my older sister about my depression. She listened but by tomorrow, she told my mom. Ever since, my mom grew colder towards me and more controlative. Not only that but she always stares and talks to me with disdain in her eyes and voice. She looks at me like I failed her as a daughter. She never mentions my depression on a serious level. She only mentions how she knows. She expects me to be happy but I can't find anything to smile about. Happiness is gone and my mom thinks It's my fault, like I am not trying. Talking has been getting more exhuasting and I'm praying I pass AP chemistry even though I was lost halfway through. I've decided to try to fake my life until I'm out of the house, becuase everything is getting worse the more I show I'm depressed, which makes me more depressed. I don't know how long it'll last, or if I can even do it. I've been grounded about two weeks from my ps4, which used to bring me a sliver of happiness. But I couldn't care to fix my grounding, so why fake it? Fear . . . Of what? I don't know.