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Day 1... This sucks already
Karmakaze35 November 21st, 2019
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So, if you read my post before, I was doing ok with giving a girl space. However, as the day dragged on, my mind started faltering. God, I want to text this girl so badly and see if things are ok. I just want to rewind to yesterday, and stop myself from asking her why she blocked me (she didn't, Sprint is a massive d-bag). I want to know that it's going to be ok with her, but I still want to respect her boundaries. Part of me is being optimistic and not worrying. But as the day wears on and my brain keeps running, the negatives start kicking in and my old mind is trying to make it worse and worse ("You messed up, she's never gonna talk to you again. You're hopeless... blah blah blah"). No matter how much mindfulness meditation I do, I know that my heart is breaking into a million pieces, and will continue until there's finality from this situation. I REALLY like this girl. I know guys say that about a girl they meet, but for some reason, this girl is special. Yeah, she's beautiful on the outside, but on the inside... There's such a lot more.

She cosplayed as Persephone from Lore Olympus, so I decided I'll watch the YouTube dubs. I get why she cosplayed as her. She's the same girl: trying to find herself, and falling for Hades. Holy dog crap, I want to be her Hades. SO. DAMN. BADLY. This is probably the hardest test I've ever taken in my entire life. I just want to pass it, take her out to dinner, hug her, and tell her how sorry I am for having horrible anxiety and doubt.

1
Queencake2144 November 21st, 2019
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@Karmakaze35

I know exactly what you mean. This kind of feeling sucks.

I recently had a break up and I know how hard it can be. You wish you could go back and have them back and you would give anything for it. You look at them and see the things they're doing and you notice every little thing about them and wish they were yours again.

You wish that you could talk to them. You want to see them and you want to be near them and you come up with 100 excuses you could use to talk to them.

I want to say it gets easier, and it does to an extent. For me, I was suuuper depressed for days. Then I had to kinda correct myself because he needs me to give him space.

I know it's not exactly the same thing but I hope you know that there's someone who understands you and I'd love to talk more.

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