Dark place in my mind Feb 25
I'm only in my twenties and married love my husband to death. But lately I've been super depressed to the point to where it's scaring me. I promised I wouldn't ever try to unalive myself so I will keep true but that doesn't make my thoughts go away. Lately I've felt like a burden to all around me, I feel I'm not good enough and I've begun to wonder if anyone would truly miss me if I disappeared for good. It won't get out my head. my family would be fine I live far away anyways and no one hardly talks to me, and my husband would probably be fine after a month or two I'm just such a burden to him. I have so many mental problems and I can tell at times I'm too much for him, I also haven't been able to bear him a child he so much wants yet as well. His parents would be fine as well I'm just such a pain for them. I myself feel like I was cursed with so many problems on purpose that I should have just disappeared. I have no friends and I get why, why would anyone want to like me I'm so shy and have anxiety to often to go out for long plus I have trust issues. My life for me is broken and I feel so helpless, I don't wanna tell my husband because I don't want it to seem like I just want attention that's not me. I would rather they focus on someone else that could get help. I'm just too broken beyond repair. I'll just keep smiling and move past this dip in my life right now.
@MysteriousK24
Hi Mysterious K24, I feel sad reading that you feel like a burden. You know, I'll say that just because you have issues, it does not mean that your husband and your relatives view you as burdensome person to have. Sometimes, caring for someone in need can in fact make you love that person even more.
I once cared for an ailing grandfather in my home. He was really sick but he was also very stubborn that he often picked a fight with everyone. It's true that I considered him a burden at that time, but not a disagreeable burden. I felt that my sympathy and love actually deepened as I spent more days and effort caring for him. He passed away about 9 years ago, but I still remember some of the moments I spent with him.
Just because you feel like a burden, it does not mean other people view you that way (or that they are unwilling to carry you). We are all in the same boat and the least we can do is to help each other.
Sending you all my best wishes.
