Bubbles Bubble 😇

Hey @EnbyBubble, it's so nice of you welcome people in your bubble (might I say, how adorable hehe) and CupsJournal also, I see so many here expressing their feelings through their virtual diaries in 7 cups forums and it seems like a wonderful way to share our thoughts and feelings and simply find a place to *be*, sit with our selves, our emotions, now ofcourse when a friend joins in (just like how the two adorable bears are sitting together shoulder in shoulder) things start feeling a whole lot better. We ofcourse have to never do this alone. ❤

I'm happy to come across this comfy space and looking forward to know you more, yes please, more cookies and hugs are always welcome, thanks! xD

Ooh and I forgot to introduce haha, please feel free to call me Sun, or any other nickname you may wanna come up with. 🤗

@Sunisshiningandsoareyou

Hey Sun, welcome to my Bubble then! And thank you for all your kind words. You are always welcome here! 😇

Bubbly Poem 5/22/2022

words
crackling, tangeling
laughter,
everywhere, without a reason
so many sounds, outside, and inside
but why?
would I really lie
saying I can't understand
letters are slipping through my fingers like sand
that I can't quite put my finger on
I'm trying to open my eyes, wide
but still everything is just ringing
making disturbing sounds in my mind

I'm so sick of pretending
sick of the society, that is not understanding
I can't keep up, no matter how fast I'm running
I just want to stop, take a break
be able to breathe once in a while
but every time I realize that I'm still awake
something disappears, that's not been here for a long time
my fading smile
because yes, I do not feel stunning
is that considered a crime?

Why does he make me so angry, so furious?
by simply just existing
why does the tension always add up
and why do I have to take everything so serious?
are his words just the last drop
to my river full of problems, issues
creating or maybe just risking
a tsunami, a hurricane
an explosion, burning up everything, flame by flame
I feel like I am going to lose
myself in this, because of a single human
who is disrespecting everyone who is neither man nor woman

silence
being just as loud
it's too quiet to be trusted
how am I not making any sense
of anything
when I can't even be proud
of what I have achieved and of who I am
as my personality is hidden in a box, dusted
and I can't take my mask off, can't show myself
the silence is dragging me down, making breathing -
impossible
how is this explanation even plausible?

how can being quiet make me bleed?
where can I find that path that is supposed to lead
me somewhere, anywhere
I have lost my rhythm, my melody
I'm just not yet ready
for whatever it is I am supposed to do
and why is no one ever there
when I need it the most?
can’t the silence at least give me a clue
of what the noise was, that I lost?

-Bubble 💭

@EnbyBubble

this is just so beautiful like you can sense the emotions and your soul in it, I love it <3

@RoshanaShabanii

Thank youuuu 💜

Hey there fellow Bubblers

I would like to welcome @InternalAcceptance , who has been standing by my side throughout the last couple weeks and @RoshanaShabanii who has been so patient and understanding with me into my Bubble!

You two are the best, so feel free to grab cookies and hugs! ❤️

@EnbyBubble Thank you for inviting me into your bubble! I love the poem you posted previously. It's raw and powerful, to say the least.

@InternalAcceptance

You are most welcome in my Bubble! And thank you, that means a lot to me 💙

I want to invite @sunshinegiraffe123 into my Bubbleee.

It's a small bubble with only a few people in it who are kind and supportive and if you want to share something, you are more than welcome to do that here. Please never forget that your issues are just as valid as everyone else's. 💜

🌈

@EnbyBubble

Thabk you bubble. This means a lot.

I want to share another poem, it might contain suicidal thoughts, depending on your interpretation so trigger warning for that!
And thank you for reading in advance 💜

Sitting on the balcony bridge at night, I am freezing

Feeling alone as always, but today I can not push it down

My whole body is shaking
In front of me that table, boring, brown
But I can’t see it, as my mind is making
Me think about all the times they have been teasing
Me for everything, all the times I was alone or exposed
Dreaming about the time I could finally have overdosed
But didn’t, because what if I hurt someone with that?
It’s a summer night, and there is always a fire
Inside of me, getting up the temperature, higher and higher,
But not this time, it’s warm, but I am frozen
And I wish I could do what I did every day, just have chosen
To not let the emotions run me over
But here I am, hiding on a balcony high above the streets

I have absolutely no idea where this leads,

All I can do is hover
And it feels like ages, or just a blink, when you appear

Staying next to me, despite the time being 4 am

Just a couple of minutes ago, you felt the same

Crap, and you much rather be covered in bedsheets

I haven’t let anyone in like that in much, much over a year
More like 7, and yes I have counted

When my parents shouted

Too busy with themselves to care

But here you are, lending me your sweater

Even though both of us know that the weather
Isn’t the cause of the cold inside me
But you are different, you don’t stare
Like all the others do, you can see
Who I am, when even I have lost myself
And it sounds intense when I say you gave me a hug
For five minutes straight, and it’s a memory that will be stuck
With me for a long time, but it isn’t a romantic kind of thing
It’s a friendship where we can be us, where we can sing
To suicidal songs and don’t mind our voice cracks

And both of us know that the motivation to keep going severely lacks

There’s not much we can do for one another, except being there

But sometimes that can be enough

You have the ability to make me laugh
When I’m about to lose myself again, I don’t want to get lost, when I don’t know where
I am going when I’m gone, and neither do you,
But you are here, and that is more than I could wish for you to do

- Bubble 💭

Hey hey Bubblers and welcome @LetsCherishLife , this is my Bubble!

You can get to know supportive people here, grab cookies and cake, read some poetry of mine and then be confused afterwards, because often times those words only make sense to me.

Enjoy!

Hey hey,

I know I have been terribly inactive, but I do want to invite someone into my Bubble! Because I care about them, and I want them to see my world too, as long as they want that.

Soo, welcome @Mack , you are amazing and I am glad I have met you!

Happy bubbling hehe

❤️

Just dropping off some hugs and a reminder that you need not apologize for being inactive, or anything, it is your space, and you're allowed to use it, whenever, and in whichever capacity! ❤🤗 Great to hear from you though!

@Sunisshiningandsoareyou

Thank you Sunnn, now I want to apologize for apologizing 😂

@EnbyBubble Lol xD I know the drill haha!

I'll share another poem, but I want to put a trigger warning on eating disorders. If you do struggle with this topic, and it does trigger you, please don't read any further than this.

There you go:

Bathroom floor

Another night passes, that I spend on the cold bathroom floor
The window wide open, I feel the cold sink into my skin
And as I look for emptiness, control, I wonder will it ever be as it was before
Yes, just that time when I didn't worry about how thin
How small, how skinny I am, but I can't remember
It's summer, but I feel colder than I did last december
And I try to fight it, I am trying to search
For something that might calm the urge
But once you are in it, you can not get out
Of that bathroom, not out of all those numbers that tangle up inside
Your own mind and I want to throw all that sickness right
Out, as far away as I can imagine
And looking back I realize I never noticed the cage I'm caught in
I can't shake the thought, that this body is too big, but in the wrong direction
Why don't I fit into the clothes out of the kids section
I can't let go of the emotions, I lost the ability to cry
The last tears sealed up long ago, now it's just dry
Kind of like a desert, it's quiet with no motion, until a sandstorm will hit
And only the bittersweet smell of dessert, that I couldn't make sit
Everywhere numbers, too high, too low, how can I get out, where is the door
I guess I'm a mess now, I'm broken, on a cold bathroom floor

- Bubble 💭

And another one, without any triggers this time! I just want to appreciate a shiny someone, because they deserve it and they mean the world to me. And sorry if I misspelled something, I didn't sleep and this just came into my head so I wrote it down

Special Friend

So you said something, when I told you that you shine
You said that’s not your truth, that’s not right
But guess what, it’s mine
And I’ll stay with you, and I’ll remind
You, until you can share my perspective,
See what a caring and kind
Hooman bean you are, how much light
You provide me, maybe you are unaware
about the fact that you helped me, when I could only stare
Into the darkness around me
But with you it was special, with you I can just be
I don’t have to pretend, and the same goes for you
So let me just say, I hope one day, you’ll see how you shine too.

- Bubble 💭

Heya Bubblers. Just another piece of tangled words, along with a trigger warning for discrimination and eating disorders. Please only read this if you can handle those topics right now.
There you goooo:

Stares

They keep their head low, their shoulders bent
as they walk their way home on the frozen pavement
and they can’t shake the feeling that all those stares
are following them, like icy, judgmental eyes
and the hope, the courage, the strength,
which they usually grab onto tightly, which always lays
safely in their hands
is dropped on the ground, shattered, as everyone glares
into their direction, as if they were a criminal
the way home seems longer, as if the length
would have something to do with the looks that had been sent
into their direction, each and every day, by all
these people who can not understand what it feels
like to be small, little
they have no idea that there is more to it than just skipping meals
that on the inside, they are so brittle
that one comment is enough for them to crash and break
so why, for gods, or anyones sake
do you make their life so difficult

can’t you see, that the way you look at them is clearly an insult?
do you want to make them feel worthless?
because you’ve achieved that goal
and the small pieces that are left of their soul
turn hopeless, black, I hope you can see what a mess
you made of them, because maybe they can take it, one last time,
but not everyone can, so please
stop judging when you know nothing about them
they’re already feeling way too numb
leave them the little hope they have, I’m not asking for much, just that tiny piece

Hey, you’ve made it to the end. I just wish you don’t relate, because I don’t want anyone to feel this way. Sending you *hugssss* ❤️

Achilles Heel

You were hiding befoe you did it. Because you knew it was wrong

But you did it anyway, you came out, laughed behind the back of your hand

And then punched where it hurt me the most and maybe it made you feel like you belong

Because you didn't even have the guts to do it alone

I think I much rather prefer a broken bone

Than this, because I seriously just can't

Cope with this, and you didn't know, because I hid

Behind my pokerface because god forbid

You knew that you found my weak spot, my achilles heel

I doubt you meant to hurt me, I doubt that you did think

Because I remember you telling me, that sometimes you feel

Like you just have to do something that's considered 'bad'

And you don't do it in order to make others feel sad

So at least I know, this time it's nothing personal, there is no link

Between your actions and what you think about me

At least now, in comparison to ten years ago, I can see

That you didn't know I even had that achilles heel

Because sometimes I am too good at making myself look as if I were made of steel

- Bubble 💭

💖 @EnbyBubble 💖

@Sunisshiningandsoareyou

thank you sunnn, means a lot ❤️

Heya everyone
I started this yesterday and wanted to complete it on a hopeful note today, but I guess that didn't completely work out. So there you go

TW: This post may include mentions of eating disorders, so if this topic is triggering for you, please do skip it.

Voices and Numbers

It’s just another night
Looking back to a daily fight

Against the voices “No, you can’t have any more
And no, it won’t ever be like before”
So they are taking pills to drop the weight
That seems to be too heavy
For their frail body
Too much for their muscles and bones
To hold, but maybe it’s too late
Maybe it’s a fight that can’t be won
They are thinking back to a time
When they didn’t worry about eating scones
A time, when they didn’t have to run
Once the numbers got too high
But now even a drop of a lime
In their tea, seems like something they’re unworthy
To consume, so again they end up
In the bathroom, their throat now dry
And everything’s empty, even the cup
That usually holds their energy

It’s just another morning
Trying to get ready for the day
Just wishing so badly, this one will be okay
They are hoping for just one, without any counting
A day without math, a day without shouting
Voices inside their head
“Leave, Ana, Mia, I just want a peaceful day in bed”
But why should they listen, when they never have
Why would they even try, when there isn’t a chance
Maybe they try to win an endless fight
Perhaps it’s their way, to be brave
But it’s nothing more than an endless dance
One where the lights went out, so they can’t leave, as the door
Is always out of sight
So Ana and Mia had a point, it won’t ever be like before

- Bubble 💭

Heya Bubblers
I guess my last poems and poetry slams always had the same vibe, I'm kinda sorry for that, but it's how I cope, and this time my recovery seems to take longer than usual. I'm not sure if in this case this might even be a good thing, because just maybe I won't jump from one problem to the next or exchange one unhealthy coping mechanism with another, but actually get out of it, but I certainly hope so.

The following poem is not really a representation of me, but one of my feelings and past experiences.

Anyway, once again a huge TW on eating disorders. If you are not okay with this topic right now, please do not read any further

'I feel like a butterfly',
they say and take a step back from the mirror,
'A light-weight', their body is getting thinner
they notice the changes,
people around them do too,
but they clip their wings, try not to

let them soar high

'My face is smaller' they think,
happily, while everyone stares at the shadows
below their eyes, deep in their holes
'My legs are losing fat', they notice and
everyone sees how weak
they got, and deep
down they know that too 'I can't

stop' they realize, in a blink

'I feel like a butterfly'
they repeat, try and hold on to the joy
that anorexia brings
but no matter how many colours they use,
to paint the picture perfectly,
they know now, that they abused
their own body

'I feel like a butterfly, with broken wings'

03/27/2023

Uncertainty about the future can feel troubling
I can't even count how many times I've been struggling
With exactly that situation.

But the certainty on the other hand, that I can be sure it will turn out wrong
No matter what I change or do, or if my approach on it is strong
Beats the feeling 100 times, and won't need an explanation.

- Bubble 💭