Abby's ponderings, poems, and rants
I am going to post some of my ponderings and poems that I write on my feed from yime to time here, as well. Everyone is welcome to read and reply! I will occcasionally have some rants here, also ,,, but I ysyally try to keep those to a minimum 
and I don't really swear or use known trigger language in those ... if I'm afraid any of my entries on this thread will contain a trigger subjuect, I will put a warning at the top of the post.
Also ... if anyone replying is prone to using abusive language, or s.e.x. talk or malicious innuendos with the intent of trolling - you should not post a reply because I will likely flag it ... just saying.
I consider writing a hobby for me, and I would like to share this with all of you! 
Ive got a big story, happened November 9th after a MeetUp with the social anxiety support group. I find it necessary to mention that at a previous MeetUp last month, we were all discussing social anxiety in romantic relationships ... and thats a prevailing reason why I DONT PURSUE ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS. Too much for me to worry about, ya know? About what he thinks about me and all that ... can you imagine that kinda worrying 24/7? 😱 Thats what it would be like for me in that kind of relationship.
Okay, so my co-organizer Juan Carlos (JC) turned out either to be literally OUT TO LUNCH when we were all having that discussion a month ago or hes a real hot mess romantico Lothario 🤣 because we were waiting for a bus, or I was and he was just standing next to me thinking about ... ?? 🤷♀️
Suddenly, he asked me, Can I hug you?. I thought, okay, nothing wrong with a church hug (as a coworker of mine calls it). Im normally not a huggy bear of a person, but I thought there would be no wrong in it.
(Continued on next post)
Well, JC
Okay, so it gets even better 🙄😂. So, I couldnt really tell JC that I thought I had just kissed a frog 🐸 because, ya know, social anxiety ... and then he asked if he could do it again - with my mouth open. Whaaaaaaaat?! 😱 Okay, Im drawing the big red line here because Im NOT gonna have him put his damn tongue down my throat 🤮. So, I said the easiest word that came to me, social anxiety and all ... NO.
At that moment, the bus came and I got the h.e.l.l on it and away from him.
The thing is ... my Dad was to come to town and I was gonna have him and JC meet for dinner in my neighborhood because my Dad met him last year. I knew the two of them would get along well also because JC is originally from Guatemala and my Dad taught math in Guatemala in the late 1950s and early 1960s. I had warned JC in the past that I am not looking to get into romantic relationships because they are too unstable and can ruin friendships but again, he must not have heard a word I said during that MeetUp conversation a month ago. 🙄 He did everything possible in this moment at the bus stop to throw our friendship into the toilet. 🚽
(Continued on next post later)
The next day, JC was going to call me to set up a day and time to meet with my Dad and I to have dinner at a restaurant in my neighborhood.
During the phone call, I was trying to explain to him why his behavior was wrong and why he nearly ruined the friendship. He was ... So its all my fault??. Well, I certainly did not lead him on or encourage his behavior. I said (and found myself getting angrier at him with each word), Yes, it IS your fault! You kept trying to push past boundaries, thinking about ... what were you thinking about?! Im not sure I want to know. Didnt your parents teach you how to respect women?!. 🤬
With that, he said, Im not coming. (to visit your father and you for dinner) and abruptly hung up on me. 🤬 As he hung up, I shot out that I was leaving as co-organizer of his MeetUp group.
Okay, so the big red flag in the relationship is that in spite of my warning and protest about the idea of converting a good friendship into a romantic relationship, JC somehow got the bright idea 💡🙄 in his head to try it. How did that work out? 🤣
@AbbyHarris1976
I'm sorry that this happened.
What I'm feeling as I read this is that, there are all of these moments you're describing where you weren't really happy with what was happening and felt uncomfortable or awkward--even from the very beginning, when he gave you the hug. It just kept escalating, and at every point the feeling was, "This isn't really what I want."
It connects with what you've said in the last post about feeling like this person was pushing boundaries and not respecting you as a person. Almost like there's something they want *from* you, and that's their main objective above all else. They're not really checking in to see how you're feeling, make sure that you feel safe, make sure that you feel comfortable, make sure that you're okay with what's happening. They're not establishing a basic trust/safety or mutual understanding before acting. They're just pushing and going after what they want.
I was struck by your description of him kissing you and asking how you were feeling, but you feeling like you weren't really able to say that you felt uncomfortable or indifferent. Sort of like if you did, it might ruin the friendship or he might be upset. And you didn't want to ruin that friendship, so you kept trying really hard to be accommodating and compromise... but at a certain point it became obvious that he didn't have the awareness/sense to realize that you were being polite and not interested unless if you gave a firm no.
@AbbyHarris1976
I can understand about the tough situation. But good that you set boundaries with JC. We often don't know what others just have in their mind and their actions take a drastic turn . But it's good you are taking self care for yourself as it's the main thing needed. Hugs, have a good day ahead.
I have a couple of dinners out with my dining out crew that Im really looking forward to 🙂
Theres a Thanksgiving Day buffet at a Persian restaurant Rezas that Ill be attending. 👍 On Saturday, theres a Venezuelan restaurant that were gonna try. 😋
I havent tried Venezuelan food before but theres a first time to try! 😃
@AbbyHarris1976
Hello there, Abby! 
Dining out is always something to look forward to for me as well. And Venezuelan cuisine omg it is so flavorful delish goodness haha I'm sure your palate will be in delightful bliss! 
Have a very pleasant Thanksgiving Day!
I am thankful and grateful to know you my sweet interesting friend!
Bless you and all your love ones!
@Wayward7Good7Intentions
Im looking forward to this! 😋 Im a big Star Trek freak, so Im planning on eating like a Klingon general 🤣.
They have a huge selection of arepas but Im thinking about trying the patacon which looks like a giant quesadilla with shredded meat stuffed in a green plantain shell 😋.
@AbbyHarris1976
Hey Abby!
My dad he likes Star Trek, he haven't watch beyond the 1993 or 94 or 96... haha sorry I can't remember 
Me, I LOVE Star Wars!
Do you like Star Wars?
Have you watch all Star Trek films and television series?
Let me know what you're going to get at the Venezuelan restaurant!
@Wayward7Good7Intentions
I like Star Wars too. 👍 Ive seen most of the Star Trek films and been watching episode reruns on Cable TV 🙂.
I got the shredded beef patacon, which looks like a big jibarrito with the plantain instead of the bread. 😋 I used a fork and kni.fe with it, though ... I cant hold those to save my life, without making a huge mess 🤣. I took a pic of it but my 7 Cups app aint allowing me to post Imgur images on here (The window to paste the link wont even come up) so Ill have to wait until Im on the desktop. 🥴
@AbbyHarris1976
Hi that's awesome about the meal yay 🥳🥳.
Unfortunately, one cannot upload pictures through desktops or phone browser in imgur now. So may be use imgur phone app for posting of the pictures. As now just the imgur phone app allows us to use it to upload the pics as after some changes months back, imgur stopped the desktops feature for upload pics. I don't remember clearly about it, but I tried to upload from desktop but it showed as feature not available so imgur app is the best now to upload pics in 7cups 👍
Anyway I will leave chat to you about uploading pics in pm after my today's exam is over.
There is no greater enemy than ones own fears. — Klingon General Martok in the Star Trek Deep Space 9 episode By Infernos Light
I like this quote and its so true. 👍 In keeping with the Klingon theme of this quote, fighting our fear and overcoming it is like fighting an emotional war and being victorious in battle. ✊
Here's a little something to sweeten the day!
These are Bengali sweets ... badam pista roll and motichoor ladoo that I brought home from a Bengali bakery in Chicago's Little India 
. These go really good with coffee!
@AbbyHarris1976
Omg Abby this is mouth watering stuff !!!! . Which reminds me now I used to tag you in those food related feed posts of mine . Kinda nostalgic . :) .
Also hope u r doing well :).
@calmsoulmeet
Heeeeey brother! It's good to hear from you again! I've been so dead tired from work and these last 3 days have been rather fatiguing. I went to a Venezuelan place recently and have some pix from that restaurant trip that I'll post on here later.
I found out that there will be more meal meetups planned in the Chicago Indian neighborhood so last Sunday won't be the last time we raid the neighborhood I wanted to try so many more of those Bengali sweets but I had to get home to work the next day. One of the others with me shared anjeer halwa and cham cham with me 
@AbbyHarris1976
Daisy eats her phone
Yummy 😋 , the sweets are so tasty, thanks sis, for sharing with us 😃. Being a bengali, tasting bengali sweets, yay daisy wanna say " Khub misti, khub bhalo " 😃👍
Let's have a Christmas feast!
This is the Venezuelan patacon that I had several weeks ago ... it was delish! I'd get that again next time we go to that restaurant!
Here's some chicken paella
And here are some pistachio cannolis!
@AbbyHarris1976
Initially sending good wishes of Merry Christmas, hugs 😃. Oh sis, the recipes are just so yummy 😋, daisy gonna eat her phone again. Yeah the dishes are delicious 😋✨.
🌼 is like this now 😃 hahaha 🤣.
Merry Christmas Abby!!🎄❤️
@AbbyHarris1976
I went to church this evening to kick off this 3 day weekend (before next work week turns into a hot mess because I'm working New Years Eve, New Years Day, and the next two days after that ... uggggh 
) because I'm going to a brunch at a place called Churro Waffle tomorrow morning and yes, their signature item is the name of the cafe. Just imagine ... waffles made with churro batter and seasoning ... cinnamon and powdered sugar, with caramel drizzle and salted caramel ice cream to top it off. This is gonna be a real trip tomorrow in more ways than one!
Here it is, folks!
These are the churro waffles that we had for breakfast today, and they were every bit as delicious as I imagined they'd be!
@AbbyHarris1976
Oh this is so yummy 😋, daisy eats her laptop yeah the waffles are just so yummy 😋😋 , tasty.
Haha daisy is like this now innocent little 🌼 flower haha 😇
It
@AbbyHarris1976
Hi sis, it's amazing to see your post again 😃. I can understand, often our friends needs self care, but am sure when they are back from self care, they will love to reconnect and chat with you. You are an amazing soul and am so glad that we all have you as a friend of ours. And I hope this year be a year of prosperity and happiness for you and I hope that you find awesome friends in this year. Have a great day ahead, take care 😃
@Daisy7cups
Thats very true. 👍 Its hard to wait for them to come back, but sometimes good friends come, or come back to, those who wait. 👍😊 I can wait but will also not get lost chasing after ghosts 👻🤣
@AbbyHarris1976
Haha this made me remember of the ghostbuster post that we had made last June haha 😂😂. Lol Abby the velma haha 😂😂.
@AbbyHarris1976
HAPPY 2020, dear friend!!
Me, I surely have not forgotten about you! hope all is well!
Busy busy as a bee you are haha but you always make time for all of us, your genuine friends
I hope and wish you all the genuine friends and love you're looking for! YOU DESERVE AND EARNED IT!
@Wayward7Good7Intentions
Heeeeeyyyy! 😀 Its good to hear from you again, and Happy New Year! 🥳🥳🥳
May the New Year bring you happiness and success (or as the Klingons call it, qapla). 😊 Im looking forward to a coffeehouse (actually a coffee roaster) on Saturday and a Korean BBQ buffet brunch trip on Sunday. 😋