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Is it really that simple, though?

DipityEnigma March 22nd

We all see it on a daily basis and have experienced it to some extent:

Invalidation.
This is the process of removing someone's validity from their own experiences. For example:

Person 1:
"They made me feel like I wanted to cry. They spoke to me like I was wasting their time with my problem. I don't feel comfortable seeing them again."

Person 2:
"Maybe you misunderstood them or they didn't mean it like that. You're probably just being paranoid. Just try again and then see how you feel."


This actively forces the person to feel like their experiences and emotions don't matter. What the first person states in this scenario is very important to them. Let's look at that again.



Person 1:

"They made me feel like I wanted to cry. They spoke to me like I was wasting their time with my problem. I don't feel comfortable seeing them again."



How do you think "Person 1" is feeling in this moment? What reasons do you think they could have for feeling this way?


Now let's take a look at "Person 2":



Person 2:
"Maybe you misunderstood them or they didn't mean it like that. You're probably just being paranoid. Just try again and then see how you feel."



How do you think "Person 2" made "Person 1" feel in this scenario? How do you think they could have approached this differently?


We typically don't like to think the worst of someone, especially if they are a qualified expert in their field. You don't expect someone of such high regard to act or say things that may be deemed inappropriate, especially when "they should know better," but the reality is, we are all human. Sometimes we allow our emotions and/or personal life to take control over a situation rather than taking the individual into consideration.

This can then lead to a person feeling regret for how they handled a situation when they find out information they didn't know about the person they were speaking with.

Can you give an example of when someone may feel regret and/or remorse for how they handled a situation?


Thank you in advance for partaking in this theory. To make things easier, here are the questions in an easy copy-and-paste format:

How do you think "Person 1" is feeling in this moment? What reasons do you think they could have for feeling this way?


How do you think "Person 2" made "Person 1" feel in this scenario? How do you think they could have approached this differently?


Can you give an example of when someone may feel regret and/or remorse for how they handled a situation?

2
Hope March 23rd

@DipityEnigma

Love this! What a great way of teaching people to watch out for simple ways one can invalidate other person's feelings, sometimes its just a natural response that we need to look out for. 

1 reply
DipityEnigma OP March 23rd

@Hope

Thank you so much for the feedback! I think we've all made this mistake at some point or another, and sometimes we don't even realise we're doing it. I've certainly made that mistake. Sometimes it isn't as obvious as my scenarios are and can easily be unintentionally overlooked.

I love your posts, by the way. The IDG course was amazing!

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