Feeling acceptation
Self acceptance has always been a difficult subject for me. I tend to get into relationships where I'm the fixer, whether it's romantic, platonic, or just peer. I want to help someone and I often done the white scrubs of a clinical therapist and sit with one knee hooked over the other (even if it hurts after an hour).
That's all to say that I often have problems with being stifled. It's easy to nod and accept others, but recognizing your own boundaries can be difficult. My values and beliefs take such a back seat, I don't even look at them half the time! But it's not healthy to forget yourself so often. To ignore your feelings for the sake of others.
It comes as second nature to so many of us, but sometimes we treat ourselves so dismissively. This is a behavior I had to recognize and actively dwell over.
After a long day of listening to my family's struggles and woes, I sit down and journal. I made myself a rule to never journal about any one else's problems- to leave that for their own journals. Mine is for me. How do I feel? What are my goals? Did I have fun today? What did I succeed at? What are my plans tomorrow? It is important to accept ourselves and our feeling.
That's a form of mindfulness! It helps strengthen your relationship with yourself.
It's not selfish to say 'I'.
That's a hard fact to learn.
When you put your feelings on the back burner, we run the risk of it boiling over out of eyesight.
Don't forget to tend to them too.
🌼 What ways have you found to help you stay mindful and accepting of your own feelings?
@patientShell1003 Thank you so so much for being so candid and open. We have definitely experienced similar dynamics in relationships, so you're not alone. These situations can be quite challenging, and I understand how you feel. It seems like you have developed a great deal of self-awareness regarding your boundaries, and I completely agree you that it isn't selfish at all to prioritize your own needs.
@patientShell1003
Pausing, noticing thoughts and feelings, holding my hands on my chest while taking a deep breath and occasionally visioning nature or a tree taking my pain and holding it with me. That’s one example of how I help myself with self-acceptance. 💜
@patientShell1003
appreciated you shared freely and honestly .
I have learnt to be honest with my self, whatever feeling or emotion an going thru, to accept it as reality of that moment and just to watch it till it fades away
@patientShell1003
Your reflection on self-acceptance and boundaries is both powerful and relatable. It's inspiring to see how you've cultivated a mindful journaling practice to focus on you—your feelings, goals, and joys. Often, those of us who are natural nurturers and "fixers" forget that we, too, need care and attention. Your journey serves as a reminder that self-acceptance isn't selfish; it's a necessary part of living authentically and sustainably.
For me, staying mindful and accepting of my own feelings has been an evolving process. One practice that helps is taking intentional "check-in moments" throughout the day. I pause, breathe, and ask myself questions like:
- "How am I feeling right now?"
- "What do I need in this moment?"
@patientShell1003
Thank you for your openness and vulnerable post.
I can relate to your experience, as I’ve been in a similar situation: I was the "fixer" while he was the patient. This dynamic persisted for three difficult years. That relationship was my last, and since then, I've worked to break that pattern of behaviour. Over the past eighteen months, I’ve focused on personal growth. I’ve learned so much about myself; I still haven’t fully achieved acceptance and continue to face challenges. However, I am much more aware of people's intentions, and I recognise toxic behaviour; it's a journey.
💚
@patientShell1003
Being a listener has literally made me more aware of my own feelings. Maybe its that I've quieted the commanding presence in my mind and I can better hear my body.
@patientShell1003 wait, correct me if I’m being wrong here but doesn’t this post originally belong to BeesOnFlowers?? I remember reading this exact writing some time back and the feelings on the post were almost identical to my own… the words on the post stayed with me. why copy @BeesOnFlowers post? shouldn't credit be given to original poster? https://www.7cups.com/forum/idg/BeingRelationshiptoSelf_2636/IdentifyingandRememberingSelf_336487/
