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The magic of active listening

Renjik8013 May 27th

Hello, everyone, and I hope you have had a good day so far!

I've been reflecting on the importance of active listening as a social skill and how it plays a vital role in our interactions. Before I learned such skills, I thought I was an excellent listener, with friends constantly sharing their concerns, but there seem to be better ways to support and let others feel heard. 

I realised that I was used to hearing the words someone was saying and acknowledging them with sympathy instead of empathy. I've come to notice that the proper way to listen to others is to understand their messages and respond thoughtfully, the main purpose of which is to let others feel like they are being heard. 

Here are some key aspects of active listening that I noticed:

  • presence: being fully present in the conversation without engaging in other activities.
  • empathy: understand the speaker's perspective and emotions instead of saying things like "That's too bad."
  • telling them you're listening: offering responses like "yep", "umm hmm"

Mastering active listening could help support members in Cups and enhance my connections and interactions with others! 

- Discussion questions - 

  1. How does utilising active listening affect your relationship in the real world?
  2. What challenges do you face when trying to practice active listening, and how do you overcome them?

Would love to hear your insights ❤️

8
Hollytail May 29th

@Renjik8013 I like your post about active learning, and I also think it is really important in the reality. To answer your question, I think using active listening is a good way to create a deeper bond with close friends, it could build trust between each other. When getting into university, I started to feel like I got less chance to develop a new friendship as before so I cherish each time spending with those I liked and active listening could help me when we were together.

1 reply
Renjik8013 OP May 30th

@Hollytail

Thank you for sharing your insights! I can relate to feeling like there are fewer opportunities to make new friends after starting university. Cherishing the time with loved ones and focusing on being a good listener can indeed make those moments even more meaningful!

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Rach4 May 30th

@Renjik8013 

I think active listening creates stronger and more meaningful relationships, it helps people become closer and feel understood. 

Challenges include putting all aspects of it into practice (empathy, validation and open ended questions) because with the flow of the conversation you might forget to do so, however, keeping it in mind and practicing active listening helps overcome this challenge.

1 reply
Renjik8013 OP May 31st

@Rach4

Thank you for sharing and I couldn't agree more!

@Rach4 Hi Rach! I agree completely, when we use active listening skills we grow closer through feeling someone feel seen. People gravitate towards people who not only care but SHOW that they care. Active listening is a great way to show someone you care!

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Catmomj99 May 31st

Active listening strengthens our bonds and also makes the other person feel heard. They feel validated and valued which is really important for a relationship to thrive.

The challenge I faced a lot was sometimes I used to tell my story and my challenges when they were enlisting theirs. Though it was unintentional and as a way to validate I realised and through practicing active listening I have really evolved and learnt that it is not about you it is about them and just listen and validate.

ScorpiaD June 28th

@Renjik8013 I've been trying to use active listening as a skill as well. Focusing questions such as "What is the first thing you would like to do?" seems to work the best for me as an active listener.

@Renjik8013


  1. Utilizing active listening can significantly enhance relationships in the real world by fostering deeper understanding, trust, and mutual respect. When you actively listen, you demonstrate genuine interest in what the other person is saying, validate their feelings, and create an environment where they feel heard and valued. This can lead to stronger connections and more effective communication.
  2. However, practicing active listening can pose several challenges. These may include distractions, the temptation to interrupt or offer solutions too quickly, or feeling impatient or preoccupied with your own thoughts. To overcome these challenges, it's important to cultivate self-awareness and consciously focus on the speaker without judgment or distractions. Practicing mindfulness techniques, such as deep breathing or staying present in the moment, can help maintain focus. Additionally, actively reminding yourself to listen empathetically and asking clarifying questions to ensure understanding can further enhance your active listening skills. With persistence and effort, active listening can become a powerful tool for building and maintaining meaningful relationships.