How long is too long?(RE: mourning)
In the past month, I have lost 2 pet rats (the first I inherited so wasn't totally attached but did care for him, just didn't have him long enough for a true bond, the other I chose from a litter that was found abandoned on a hiking trail a little over a year ago). I know to some they were "just rats" but to me they were my friends. I work from home and they are in a large cage in my office space. Even my husband really only gave me 48 hours and now when I cry about missing my BB (the one I picked along with his 2 brothers who are still happy and healthy) I feel like he doesn't understand and I get the feeling that he is thinking "just get over it already". Honestly, I cried less after my mother died (but she is part of the reason I need a resource like 7cups). I don't know if it would have been easier if I had not tried to save him by getting meds for him instead of having the vet put him down when I took him there (vet was iffy on whether he'd pull through but my choice). I feel guilty and it hurts because I was holding him when he passed begging him to hold on until I could him the meds. I am at the point now where I know once the boys I have are gone I won't get more, they are sweet and affectionate, but just don't live long enough (no pet does).
Thanks for the ears.
@wittyEyes6543
🐭🐁🐀
They do have short lives, the ratties...
I am sorry you had to carry the burden of euthanasia on your shoulders...I disagree with that but if the vet was "trigger happy" so be it...
You have others to care for...
I am sad for your mum...
Happy your husband supports you and you are lucky to work from home which many peope wish to do so...😶
I wish you well🤗😊🐭🐁🐀
@GreenAndRedBoat
Thank you. I know I am very fortunate to get to work from home and be near my furry friends, which many people don't get to do. I do have the others to look after and they are filling in the days with cute things they do.
@wittyEyes6543
See, life is happy after all 🤗😀😊🤗
@wittyEyes6543
I understand people don't seem to understand how people feel about their pets but you can love them just as much as your own child and you're devasted by their loss. its just as tragic as losing your own baby. I completely understand. I lost my best friend, who was a cat and I'm still lonely it's been months now. When he died i kept looking for him thinking he is meowing or around the corner. I hated seeing him sick and no one cared enough for the cat like I did. they just said oh he's old his time is coming soon. thats not the point, he was my friend my baby and the best companion I ever had even if he was "just a cat"
@ShadowTag
Thank you so much for your kind words, and I am sorry you have had your own loss to deal with. We also had a wonderful cat that we owned for 18 years and it has been 10 years since we said goodbye and I sometimes wish he was still around because even though we got other cats in that time they aren't the same. I understand that they get old and when it is time it is time, but they do take a piece of our hearts with them.
@wittyEyes6543
It's not the same that cat was my first companion.
@ShadowTag
You are correct I have had the burden of losing a pet I loved dearly more often than you (I'm probably a lot older than you as well). The first companion you lose is the hardest to get through, but it does not make losing other companions hurt less. My 18-year-old cat was the first that was only mine, I picked him from the store as a kitten so I know the pain. We had animals in our house when I was a child but I never bonded with them as they were my mom's dogs, not mine.
@wittyEyes6543
I get it I'm not old enough to understand things and I guess I said it the wrong way sorry for being young and inappropriate as I was trying to relate to you but i guess I can't.
@ShadowTag
Oh no, I am not explaining myself well. You didn't say anything wrong. I was just trying to say that I know what you are going through with your emotions around the cat you lost, they are hard ones to deal with, but I hope it will get easier with time for you.
I do appreciate your sympathy for my rat.
@wittyEyes6543
Nicely written...
@ShadowTag I am right there with you. My cat is old and has reoccurring health problems. Anytime he is sick I bottom out. Right now in fact. I feel helpless and hopeless. He is older but I am wracked with fear about his health. He has been my baby for the last nearly 10 years.
There is no set time frame for mourning our pets. They fill a place in our hearts uniquely sharing our lives. Even a small pet like a rat or a turtle can open the doors to the beauty of nature.
I hope my words can be of help. There is no time frame. My dog has been gone for over a year and I stil can't think about it. He was 4 years old and had heart failure. I get having having pets. It sucks.
This dog wasn't my favorite which is horrible that I have a favorite, but I just bonded with the other dog more. As a family we have since moved on and gotten another dog, but I haven't coped.
I have issues with his death being my fault and like it isn't survivors guilt , it's true and like the last thing I told him was he was annoying and to go away, and not only did I kill him, he died in the crate because I wasn't home. Just thinking about it makes me buckle.
Small animals domt live forever( I also have a rabbit and I am fearing the day he dies because he is my baby ) and it's horrible. I am so sorry you lost your rats and I wanna hug you becuawe I feel like it takes someone who has had small animals and animals pass away after such short time to get it.
An idea, when your ready ofc is a rabbit. Rabbits on average live 9-12 years. I have a lionhead ( who's life span is 5-7) and he's six years old. He is albino and has dwarfism, which I don't think he can see but he's still so spunky.
I wish there was a way I could make your rats come back I really do.
