Ramblings about Insomnia...

So, at my time of writing this, its just after 5AM. Im sat up, wide awake, hunched over the laptop like some fiendish vampire feeding from the glow of the screen listening to some bizarre rare 80s song that I cant explain how I found nor how I am currently singing along to it at this particular moment.

I wanted to talk a little bit about insomnia, and how it affects different people, a large majority of us, and how it can alter a lot of considerable things about us as people: mood, motivation, appetite and just the general drive to do anything.

Now, personally speaking - Ive suffered from insomnia for many years. I have tried every method there is in the book (the fictitious book of legend) from medical methods, to playing relaxing ocean sounds (made me feel sea sick) to trying out an assortment of drinks like Horlicks (a malty drink) and calming teas just to help unwind and ease into a peaceful night of sleep and wondrous dreams about eyebrows and pirate bacon, you know the drill.

Except most nights; I am awake. I cant tell you possibly why this happens; it just does. There are a whole bunch of reasons that can come into play for why each person might be lying there, staring at their ceiling and wondering, How did I get here? Its 4 in the morning. I have to be awake in three hours. Dark thoughts can come into play, unwanted energy that makes us feel like whipping out the saxophone {insert applicable instrument here - triangles are welcome} to just feelings of general unease that make us feel like our bodies are tense and cant relax, and our mind follows suit by perhaps dragging up that memory from all those years ago - you know the one. People in chronic pain suffer too, unable to rest easy at nights due to the aching in their bodies. Of course, not all reasons that cause insomnia are related to mental or physical illnesses, some people can purely just cannot sleep. I realise that there are so many other reasons out there that can cause insomnia; Im selling a lot of people short here, but if anyone sees this, please - feel free to let me know. The point Im trying to make is; it can affect anyone in any different walk of life. That makes it a big issue, doesnt it? It seems like a big issue at the time certainly when you have stayed up all night and have to go to work, or school, or the store because the groceries are needed...or just getting in the shower! Despite the temporary relief that brings, you know, that weariness can cling.

To talk really briefly about how it affects others, without making broad claims, as, much like everyone suffers in a different way, everyone has different ways to deal with it. Coffee, exercise, activities, planned days to keep the body/mind busy, a Harry Potter movie marathon - something that wills you through the day ahead. But the body becomes a tender thing on no sleep and I know that from experience. My own personal method? It gets to that point where the suns risen and everyone is getting up and ready for their day, I tend to think, Ill stick it out all day. Its 9AM and I feel great! Come lunchtime, Im considering kicking the dog from his bed and crashing there Im that tired. So some of the symptoms of insomnia are as follows: awakening too early, not feeling well rested at all, constant tiredness through the day, irritability towards things and others, depression and anxiety increased, finding it hard to focus on tasks and to pay attention to things, Increased errors or accidents, tension headaches, distress in the stomach and intestines (gastrointestinal tract) and those awful, plaguing ongoing worries about sleep. Its not nice, and I know its not nice.

I realise that Ive rambled on quite a bit here, and as you can tell Im a totally professional writer (Ha!) and may have meandered through things a bit without much a point unifying everything.

Well there is a point, and, its not the best one in the world, but its a point.

Sometimes, setting up alone, all distractions aside (laptops, phones, games, books) when you hit that moment of Oh Im not going to sleep, things can get lonely. Youre awake whilst everyone sleeps. Its lonely, its isolating and it can be downright horrific sometimes. But heres a tip. It wont change your life, or make any of the problems disappear but it may come in useful for those dark nights.

Look out the window. Stare up at the night sky. And think to yourself, I am not alone. Because you are not alone. Out there, somewhere in the world, somebody is looking to the sky and thinking the same thing. Under the blanket of the darkest nights, you are never alone.

TheDeaningOfLife