@MusicCandy @SadMe70 New place to communicate
@MusicCandy Hi! I decided it was easier to just start a new thread. I can't figure out the old one.
I am headed to my mom's tomorrow until Sunday night. Today is the fifth anniversary of dad's death. I couldn't get up there today, so it's the first time I won't be with her on the actual day. I won't be on here this weekend, so I'm writing this on Wednesday.
Yesterday I made my first trip to the mountains in a long time. I hiked to Mary's Rock. It was not crowded and was great weather. It was kind of funny hiking in a t-shirt with snow on the ground!
Today we are celebrating my DIL's birthday. The actual day is Saturday but I'll be at mom's. I am going to make the Korean dessert that I made for New Year's, since their dog ate all the leftovers and she didn't get to try much of it. Then I have some cleaning to do, and some errands to run, and then pick her up 45 min away because my son is here at work near our house. I'm going early enough to drop by my other son's house first to meet his new dog. He and his fiancee are adopting a 2 year old. I need to do laundry to prepare for my trip, and need to write detailed instructions for my pet sitters. I have an old note to work from, but I have a new lady coming one day and I need to make it extra-detailed for her. She is a pet sitting company, so it will cost me, but I need another person in my rotation of feeders. So it's a busy day today!
I am grateful for my spring break this week that allows me to do all these things. I spent the weekend doing very little because I knew the rest of the week would be very busy! I don't like getting home the evening before I have to go back to work, since I won't get laundry, shopping, or cooking done, but it couldn't be helped!
I hope the new thread works out, and that I tagged you correctly so you will see it!
I hope your week has gone well, and here's to five more years of messages to come!
Hello my friend, nothing much to report this week. My meals were pretty good. I did a lot of cooking and have started to restock my freezer with meals I can use during the school year. I hope to make a big egg casserole today and use up most or all of the 6 goose eggs I have. I did almost no exercise - one video and one walk. I can't seem to get motivated to do the videos, and as much as I want to walk, it's been too hot and humid.
I didn't do anything for the 4th. I love fireworks but no patience for traffic, so I skip it. I know you were working. Did Rachael, Abi, and Mark have a good time with your ex? Did they go see fireworks?
I have a busy week coming up. A friend down the road is going to be gone for 8 days. I had agreed to feed her dog, which has turned into feeding the cats and dog, watering a garden, making sure the dog's pool has water (she is mostly outside), skimming their regular above ground pool (which I am welcome to use but probably won't), and going back again in the afternoon to feed the dog a second time. I am also still doing PT, tutoring, and have three friends who each want to have a meal together. This has not been a restful summer, for sure.
Did you find the Bulgarian yogurt? I seem to remember that years ago I bought a culture for Bulgarian yogurt from the place where I normally get my cultures. I have been taking culturelle again after another yeast infection (no idea why I got this one). I don't know that it will be much good, but it makes me feel like I am doing something.
Good job with the great meal you took to work! I hope you were able to take other healthy stuff with you, and that there weren't any temptations at work. Did you get any walks this week? This was a good week for the pool!
I am so glad to hear that the zoom interview went well!! Any update on whether she will come?
Are your piano students back? Remind me how many students you have now. I am still just tutoring the one kid. I thought I would have others over the summer but it did not happen.
Sorry, not much news to report! I have been busy but somehow not seeming to do much! I hope your week was good. Until next week!
@SadMe70
I also had a not very exciting week . We got some morning walks in and some afternoon pool time. but the schedule was off since I worked the 4th. Abi said they had a good time at their Dads, but they didn't go out to see fireworks. It was pretty dang hot even in the evening. some hears, I have gone up to the top of the parking deck at work and you can sort of se fireworks from the Maymont park in one direction, and the ballpark in the other. When I got off at 7, went home and did housework until bedtime.
Church has not been as busy either. It will be another week or so before we hear back if the priest is taking the job. I really hope so, she would be great for the time we are searching for a permanent rector. I still go in on Mondays and clean up after the cleaning lady does the minimum. The coffee hour person is supposed to put everything away, but often they don't. I don't mind and the church isn't far from my house or Rachael's day support.
I ate pretty well at home last week, but blew it all last night at work, pizza, cookies, ice cream and some sort of other carb, I forget. so tonight I decided no more of that and I already had a nice cook protein shake with yogurt and melon all mixed in my Bullitt. It is so quick and easy and I do like the variety I can mix up. The nice folks at White mountain yogurt sent me a free jar coupon. I'm going to take some to Mark, he has terrible thrush after chemo. I hope your isue clears up soon. The weather doesnt help.
I hope you are getting a nice check for all that work for your neighbor. That's a lot. You might try just relaxing in the pool one day, unless you don't like getting in home pools, some people aren't sure if the filtration is really good enough. I got in the pool at MAC for 30 minutes before work Friday and I could have stayed another hour- it was so nice. summer half gone already.
I have 2 or 3 piano students, all same family. I think the oldest is dropping which happens when they get to high school They are on VACAY until mid August. I hope you have a good time with your friends getting together. I need to call my 2 friends to do the same before things get too crazy again in the Fall.
That's about all I have for now. work is getting busy- the heat brings them in. till next week, enjoy your chai, and enjoy the outdoors in small batches. My mountain mint is covered in bees and wasps, and i love to just watch them. later, my friend
Hello my friend, just a short note. I hope it is not too late for you to get it this week. I was awakened this morning by a video call from my son in Korea. We spoke mainly to him, and a little to his wife, for three hours. Their marriage is even worse than I knew. They are going to a counselor next Friday. I did not know, but they went a year ago. They went to one couple session and she would not go back because she did not like what she heard. She went to one individual session also. My son went to 3 sessions and wanted to continue but she told him to stop. Today she called him stupid and useless in front of others because he didn't do something right with the baby bottles. He thinks that her parents are often on his side but are sticking their heads in the sand. There is so much more. I have been praying for him every day for a long time, and I will continue. Also they indicated that they will likely stay in Korea for good, which I figured but hearing it is awful. My son is going to have such a bad life ahead of him, and he is facing that at age 27. That's all I can say today. I am too sad.
hey there, my GF buddy,
It looked like you were logged on awhile ago, but i don't see a message. I'm at work catching up on the news about Trump.. that was a close call for sure. so sad that people do such stupid things, but once again, a AR rifle, I just don't understand. People dead, and injured, no reason. Prayers don't seem like enough .
I had a pretty good week, so hot. We got in a few walks and a couple of pool late afternoons, but nothing else much. Fiancé and I went to the "bodyworks" exhibit at the Science Museum which was mostly trying to get to a really cool place a few hours. It was interesting and well done. That was our only outing. Routine church stuff and housework and laundry and watering plants. My 3 tomato plants which i planted way too close together are 6 feet tall. Figs barely coming in now. It was really nice to get the rain for the plants and to cool it down for a while anyway. Family doing OK for now. I had an hour before work to catch up with Abi yesterday. she gave me a plug in with 1000 pics from the wedding, but I haven't seen them yet, it will have to be on my home P.C. Mark has another 3 months on disability and when he does go back to the Union, it wont be actual welding. He hopes they can get work for him as a foreman .I hope you an yours are doing well too. Work so far, not too bad. I'll look back for you here soon. Smiles coming atcha
Hello my friend, I am writing on Tuesday because I am headed to my mom's tomorrow after tutoring, staying until Sunday. Below I am pasting in my post from this past weekend. For some reason it kept posting collapsed and I don't even know if you can see it. I'm still feeling so upset I don't have much more to write from my end.
The bodyworks exhibit sounds really neat. I have not been to a museum in quite a while. Sounds like your tomato plants are thriving! Are you getting any tomatoes from them? My husband saw a couple of figs on our trees. In past years, we see a few but they don't grow. Fingers crossed for this year! Oh my gosh, that is a lot of pictures! It will be fun going through them though! I hope Mark feels well enough in 3 months to go back - glad he does not have to go back in this heat - and hopefully they will have a foreman job for him.
From last week:
Hello my friend, just a short note. I hope it is not too late for you to get it this week. I was awakened this morning by a video call from my son in Korea. We spoke mainly to him, and a little to his wife, for three hours. Their marriage is even worse than I knew. They are going to a counselor next Friday. I did not know, but they went a year ago. They went to one couple session and she would not go back because she did not like what she heard. She went to one individual session also. My son went to 3 sessions and wanted to continue but she told him to stop. Today she called him stupid and useless in front of others because he didn't do something right with the baby bottles. She was flipping out and denying that the various terrible things happened that day because she does not remember them. He thinks that her parents are often on his side but are sticking their heads in the sand and will do nothing to help. There is so much more. I have been praying for him every day for a long time, and I will continue. Also they indicated that they will likely stay in Korea for good, which I figured but hearing it is awful. My son is going to have such a bad life ahead of him, and he is facing that at age 27.
O my dear friend!
I am so sad reading your news. I don't know how you can even process all of that, a terrible scenario.
I know you saw some signs of the *** before, but when they actually tell you about it, you know its serious. All the "if onlys" must be driving you crazy. A marriage between cultures has a hard road anyway, and who knows made him want to go through with it no matter what. Of course, you are so hurt for your son and even more so for the babies. It would be impossible to even coparent if he did decide to come back and start over somehow .But in the end, it was his decision, not yours, and as much as you want to help, there may not be anything you can do. If he chooses to live in that environment and just try to be a good Dad, that is up to him. My grandmother went through the craziness of my mother and it made her frustrated and angry. but her hands were tied too.
I'm more concerned for you, since you are in my world and I know this takes a toll on your health, You don't need my advice, and i can't fix anything either, but please remember that you have to take care not to let it completely take over day after day, night after night. You may need some mental health help too. Your other son and wife, your husband, your Mom and sisters - not to mention work coming back up, are all also important. They all love you and contribute to your happiness, and vice versa. I will pray alongside you.
My life was OK last week, Very hot, then it rained. I cleaned out a couple of closets which is therapy for me, Friday, i had another late morning at the gym/pool with Fiance, Abi and Mark. I so enjoy catching up with them and having a few hours of relaxing time in the pool. Its all the VACAY I'll get this year, but it gets me by. I did not do anything really for the tomatoes to get 7 feet tall, Getting a few off the vine now. Thursday, Fiancée helped make some more props, its crazy. Church with Anointing prayers tomorrow so I hope it isn't too busy. Fiancé drove me to work and will pick me up in the AM and we will go to church from there. I'm finding that I like driving less and less, so I'm glad when he volunteers,
Keep your head above the water line and try to get some rest this week-end. sending hugs.
I cant believe my whole message disappeared, a long note, maybe it ollapsed like your did, GRR!
my last post didn't go through either! Crazy, i don't know.
Maybe just, I'm sad and praying for you, since you are in my world. The post included a phrase that applied to you, but the bot( I guess) interpreted it to mean that I was in crisis, and referred to a list of crisis resources and then disappeared.
Hello my friend. I found your post, collapsed like mine. Mine was also flagged for a crisis type phrase though I was using it in a different way.
The beginning of last week was equally awful for my son. She said such terrible things. She doesn't love him, she is thinking of cheating on him, she thinks he is a good dad but afraid he will become violent. After that last statement I told him to start keeping a log, though I doubt he will. She has no basis whatsoever for saying something like that about my son. She was refusing to go to their first counseling session, then did finally go. I hope she will continue going. I think she needs something to regulate her hormones (she has PCOS and was most rational while briefly on birth control before they tried getting pregnant), some rest and relaxation by stepping back and letting someone else care for the babies maybe once a week, continued marriage counseling and probably mental health counseling too. Just my diagnosis as a professional mother! My son would never leave his children, so even if the marriage falls apart, he is stuck over there for the rest of his life. My husband and his siblings are dysfunctional as a family because of their mother, and I worry that will happen to my grandchildren if they grow up in a toxic environment. I continue to not understand her mother refusing to admit that her daughter needs help. I think she is the one person who might be able to get her to try and stick with whatever sort of treatment she might need.
As for me, I had a wonderful visit with my mom. We took three nice walks, had two nice lunches out (one with some other family members), drank lots of wine and ate lots of fattening food. I took advantage of the less hot weather, and had two walks this week, plus planning on going today. I know if I had been able to take 2-3 strenuous hilly walks per week this summer I would have lost some weight, but I can't take the over-90 temps and high humidity. I have greatly enjoyed the walks I did take!
Thank you so much for your concern. It is hard for me to talk to anyone about this in person, so I have only told one friend, on the phone. It helps so much to have you as a sounding board, as it has so many other times before! Your prayers are very, very much appreciated as well. Another person I know, a lady on my team at work, has a similar DIL problem. Hers is way more extreme, but I am worried that mine is headed that way. I would like to talk with her about it, but I think in person I would cry. Maybe in the parking lot after work one day. I go back Thursday. I dread waking up early because my sleep has been so bad, but otherwise looking forward to it.
Congratulations on cleaning out the closets! I have a walk-in in the bedroom that I can't really walk into. I cleaned out a little bit of the front of the floor, and even that felt good, so I'm sure you feel really good with completing more than one! I'm so glad you went to the pool with everyone! That sounds really nice! I didn't realize they come with you sometimes.
Your tomato plants sound amazing! I bet the tomatoes are so good. I had one of my mom's while I was up there and it's the best one I've had in a long time. Even the ones from veggie stands have not really been at peak ripeness. My husband's cherry tomato plants are producing a bit now, but the larger tomato plants are not looking good and no tomatoes in sight. His okra is getting going though. He plans to can some of them, and made some cucumber pickles this week from cukes from a veggie stand.
I'm glad your fiance can drive you around sometimes. I have never liked driving much, so I can relate! I do enjoy the quiet alone time though, on my 30 min drive to work. I listen to audiobooks or music mostly.
My head is still above the water, trying to keep myself distracted and busy, though that makes me feel a bit guilty since my son is suffering 24/7. I continue to pray and hope.
I hope you get to enjoy this nicer weather!
@SadMe70
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