Daily motivation- chores and tasking “Life Skills 101”
Hi there, I'm looking for a buddy to chore or task with. Someone to collaborate with on goal setting, milestones met, difficulties encountered in trying to just get thru a day of taking care of basic tasks and chores.
I would like to chat up to daily with someone who either is struggling similarly or has been down a similar road.
If you think this is you, please drop a line. Questions welcome. Thank you for reading!
@parkey
Thanks for posting Parkey!
Feel free to look through the other shares here as well, perhaps there is someone else here who fits the description of what you are looking for who you could pair with? You can feel free to comment on their posts as well :)
Best of luck to you! We are here for you!
Hey Parkey. Thanks for posting. I was just wishing for a buddy like you. I’m trying to get motivated to do chores, long range planning and my work done too. I’m trying this to for chores http://www.flylady.net/d/getting-started/flying-lessons/shine-sink/
@adaptableSky4590
Oh, I like this very much!
years back when I was living in a very filthy home (of my own making, of course), I was adrift not knowing where to start, so much to do that it is was overwhelming. I began by doing my dishes - or even some of them if I felt very discouraged and not up to doing them all.
I had to repeat this step for years. Partly because I didn't take it seriously enough and stay diligent. But every time I did attempt to clean my home, dishes were my go-to. So, I have now started to finally graduate from the Groundhog Day of dirty dishes. It is now made easier by much more frequent practice. I have hope and confidence that I can apply this philosophy to other tasks. I'm doing much better with laundry and making the bed too, and picking up things as I go along.
After I have "mastered" laundry and bed making, (I'm almost there with the laundry), I will add in vacuuming and bathroom upkeep.
My kitchen is looking better. I have a plan. Many things left to clean and organize.
And funnily enough, I just came from finishing up the dishes and cleaning the sink! I may try this tip from the link you shared on my sink (it is a small, double, stainless steel).
Buf I am beginning to realize how much better it feels to not look around and see chaos. The outer chaos of my living environment seemed to be a symbol of symptom of my inner chaos and turmoil. No more! Not saying that I don't still struggle, obviously I do, but much of the chaos and turmoil of my living environment has lifted (situational). It's up to me to do the rest!
So thrilled to see you found this!
pleass drop a line and share any accomplishments or struggles or tips and we can keep help each other in this, I hope!
@adaptableSky4590
Hello,
Just thought I'd check in with you and see how things have been going?
Overall, I have had a productive week and am looking towards "Finish Strong Friday!"
It feels so much better to accomplish things and restore, bit by bit, order and cleanliness to my home! Would like to hear how your week was! - good, bad or anywhere in between.
Trying to give this an uptick.
still looking for a choring buddy.
Hi again Parkey. I'm not sure if our time zone differences make it difficult but I would be keen to find a buddy to encourage each other with daily tasks
@lonelyremoteguy
awesome! Yes, the time difference might mean that we cannot always speak in real time but I still believe it can work!
so glad you found this page!
Great. It's 8:30pm at night here so can chat but any goals I have will be tomorrow (Friday)
Hi Parkey. I received a notification of a message but don't see it sorry. As before after a certain number of replies to a link it allows me no more. It's really wet and windy here (although not so cold or I'm getting used to Winter). I procrastinated today and went to the doctor at the last minute then picked up my mail and a quick stop at the supermarket (things I often put off - even going without to avoid going out not for financial reasons just social anxiety). I have a headache from stress but I did my essential tasks and back in bed. It's now just on 5pm Friday evening (looks like a wet weekend). Hope you had a good sleep and you get the things you want done. 😊
😊 What is your goal today?
@lonelyremoteguy
my baseline three: get dressed, eat breakfast, make the bed.
I also have to clear the kitchen sink, unload the dishwasher, do some paperwork.
First, coffee lol.. (it's 6am)
What about you?
It depends on the day. Tomorrow (Friday) I have a doctor's appointment so will get up, shower, dress etc but today it was windy and wet so stayed in bed
I always do better when someone is coming over or I have to go out or I know someone will ask. I see a psychologist on line and usually productive for a day or two then slide back. Current covid restrictions, Winter, cold, wet and windy weather are all not helping my motivation but I am grateful for many things. I guess I would just like to be more functional and achieve some minor goals regularly rather than up and down
@lonelyremoteguy
I'm also battling this. It plagues my mind and interrupts my efforts - this 2-3 days of good productivity followed by 2-3 days of no productivity. I keep thinking surely there is a better way to combat the slip back. Need to have consistency- and how to build that in?
That's part of why I decided to start with my baseline three - as I've stated, I'm hoping it will be a focal point to get me started on days I'm seeming to falter.
Setting a baseline is a great idea. I had ten days where I had set things like drinking a glass of water when I first woke up, drinking water between coffees, exercise and/ or cooking each day. Essentially there were about ten normal daily tasks and I was getting most done. Then I had to push myself to travel to Adelaide and whilst there I walked about 8km (maybe 5 miles?) on both days returned home and crashed out (just in bed for days after)
@lonelyremoteguy
Wow!! You really were making strides - literally and figuratively!
I understand the crash afterwards. I'm beginning to think it takes time to find a balance between pushing oneself and resting. ... if you're like me, you didn't get this way over night and it will take time and practice to find a practical routine.
@lonelyremoteguy
I understand. Weather has impacted my mood for years now. My mother is the same way. Maybe some of us are more prone to be affected. Or maybe we just let it get to us. Either way, it can be a barrier.
I can hear the wind outside and it makes it feel colder. I am happy to be warm in my bedroom. More rain is forecast tomorrow so I will try to overcome the weather when I get up in the morning. I often make coffee in the morning but go back to bed which is something I need to work on
@lonelyremoteguy
I once read somewhere when looking for tools to combat depression that this one guy made an effort (in the midst of a pretty severe depression) to make his bed every day. Even if he climbed back into it right afterwards. Just accomplishing that one task helped him. It wasn't long ago that everything was effort. Even making coffee or a five minute task. I'm not certain what made me finally snap to it - I'm just thankful that I did.
I can only reply to some messages. The ones with previous multiple replies no longer seem to allow further comment.
When you have a coffee do you also make your breakfast? It can be hard to get things done but when the sink is tidy or the bed made I feel better. Having a baseline and plan is a great start
@lonelyremoteguy
I usually make coffee first and then breakfast. I try to get my husband a breakfast made before he's out the door. And I generally make mine at the same time or shortly after. But I'm bad about letting it sit for two hours and not eating it. Which I'm sure doesn't help my metabolism nor is it good self care. So I built it in as a starting point.
I think having a person to care about or even a pet helps. I thought about a dog but it is difficult with travel even if I had one with exemptions. Having a dog in the past made me get up to feed him, walk him, etc but alone I have less motivation. However I think a pet is too difficult at the moment and I don't have anyone to care for it if I was away.
@lonelyremoteguy
Maybe in time. It's unfortunate that the travel days make it not feasible because they can be wonderful companions as you stated. And yes, they can even be a reason to force yourself to do some thing because they must be fed etc.
@lonelyremoteguy
Would having a dog that could travel with you not be an option?
I have a dog that is my constant companion. I joke that he's my "therapy dog." He's been so wonderful to me. I try to make his life as comfortable as I can. Next to my mother and husband, he is really my best friend and the one that is always with me.
I looked into 'dog sitting'. I know someone who goes away for medical treatment and might like someone to care for their dog. I like their dog but I know it's theirs so it would only be a few days at a time and I could still travel when needed. Realistically though it would be infrequent. I feel bad writing this but I am more keen to visit them to play with their dog. Dogs seem non judgemental and when stressed you can pat them, cuddle them, play with them or go for a walk together. Many towns are being restricted to remaining within 5km and they are 20km away. My state is increasing restrictions but lesser than the other states at the moment.
I'm still learning this site but it seems after a certain number of messages no further replies are allowed for a post?
I could get a therapy dog but I often stay with friends when away. One is lukewarm to the idea. The other I tend to stay a week or so with and is against it so not really feasible. I love my home but I seem to do better when taking a break away and I go out more (there is more to do in other places and I am more motivated to make the most of the time)
@lonelyremoteguy
I can see where the change in scenery and routine can be helpful - get out of the rut, get away from the place where your problems live in a way.
Before we moved to this property the place I was living was detrimental to my mental health and emotional stability. "Moving to the country" has been a blessing for me and I'm so thankful we were able to. When I lived in town I felt so watched, silly I know. But out here I'm away from prying eyes and can breathe easier. Out here it is up to me to "make or break" myself. And I can do this at my own pace and in basically solitude. It is my sanctuary.
I'm glad to hear that you have good friends. Altho I do wish they were a bit more open to how much having a pet companion could help you. But, it's also not their responsibility to accommodate this, of course.
It's interesting to me that you find going to the city so helpful-- I'm introverted (or not risking enough) to the point that traveling to the city is still a challenge.
I did set a goal of leaving my home twice a week. But it's been back-burnered because I found it too overwhelming. However, I soon have to attempt re-instating this goal.
So you have made a coffee Parkey. When you unpack this dishwasher can you just load the things in the sink to the dishwasher or do they need washing by hand? I have been watching some clips in YouTube and they talk about writers block or being non motivated. They say you just need to get started. It's all easy in theory or suggesting to someone else but harder in practice. However generally if I get started and there are no set backs I can get going. I just need to avoid procrastination or getting distracted. I find SMART (specific measurable) goals good for many situations but at other times just doing whatever I can. I tend to over think things
@lonelyremoteguy
I've heard of SmartRecovery. Not certain if that's where the "Smart" measure comes from?
Yes, I'm doing much better about unloading the dishwasher and loading any dirty things soon after. Obviously it has helped immensely. I need to work on perfectionism. So long it was a barrier, because as I'm sure you know, the flip-side of perfectionism is not attempting a task at all. I guess the keys I need to keep in mind are to "just do it", "it doesn't have to be 'perfect', it only needs be done. Manageability.
Speaking of, I have to get breakfast going and start on a few tasks.
I have copper bottomed pots that cannot go in the dishwasher. I used to let them pile up because I wanted them polished back to their shiny hue. But.. I wouldn't actually want to do this task.I've found that three things help: having the proper/effective copper cleanser, doing them quickly/not letting them sit-- and letting my perfectionism go when I can.
As I chore now, I'm experimenting with reminding myself that "this isn't the final product or the last time I'll ever do this task. Getting something done is better than doing nothing. I can always revise or improve on a task later if I'm not satisfied with the result, doing it now is what's important -- the effort. Bit by bit."
I will leave you to your tasks and hope to hear how you went. It's getting close to 10pm at night so I should start to wind down and get ready for bed. You seem to have a good grasp of what you need to do and some of the negative (unhelpful) and positive thinking. It's good to experiment and try new things. I hope you have a great day Parkey but be kind to yourself too. 😊
We have Smart Recovery here but here it seems more focused on addiction (usually drug and alcohol). Personally I found it did not help me as illegal drugs and alcohol are not issues for me. I felt anxiety, panic attacks, depression were not really covered outside of addiction so not helpful for me. Smart goals How to write a SMART goal S for specific. A goal should be linked to one activity, thought, or idea. M for measurable. A goal should be something you can track and measure progress toward. A for actionable. There should be clear tasks or actions you can take to make progress toward a goal. R for realistic. ... T for timely. I can truly relate to wanting perfection or not trying. I am trying hard to just do it and be realistic
@lonelyremoteguy
Thank you for sharing this!
(I tried SmartRecovery briefly, online, but there were too many tools, too many choices, too much material to sift thru. Quite frankly, I wasn't functioning at a level to grasp most of it. Even if I were, it's not desirable to me - I definitely prefer things to be simple).
But I can work on one tool such as SMART - specific, measurable, actionable, realistic, timely. Good stuff and I think in a way it is what I'm attempting anyway. I could overthink whether or not I'm effectively applying each from the SMART acronym effectively, honestly, diligently... but I might should table the analysis for another time. And let a little real life practice inform my thoughts. Now I need to make hay while the sun shines! I'm hoping for a good and productive day without too many setbacks.
If I do not hear from you before then, have a safe and good venture to the city and I hope all goes well with your appointment.
(I'm also finding that I'm missing messages. I must refresh and then they appear.)
Again, I'm so glad to have met you! I really think it will be beneficial to have a friend in this and I hope I can be one to you as well.
I am unable to reply to some specific messages from you. I live in a small country town and everyone knows each others business. Many other people have said to me they feel the same. Going to Adelaide has services, parks to walk through and no one knows me there or cares about what I'm doing. I live near a very small park but essentially I walk around and around and the bush and dry outback looks the same most places. I tried Pokemon Go and walked around for five days. I don't really enjoy those games but it was an experience and like my trip to Adelaide with lots of walking shows I can do it if I override my anxiety. I have not been walking but should be when it's light and not raining
@lonelyremoteguy
This sounds good! The getting out and about.
I understand small town living. Everyone knows everyone's business -- or think they do! Ha
Ive heard it joked that everyone knows what everyone is having for dinner that night (grocery store). It's a place that's small enough that anonymity doesn't really exist - you know everyone and you know thee vehicle, so everyone knows where everyone else is all the time.
I do like the anonymity of going to the city.
Yes. People even know each others cars here. I woke up early with a migraine but now it's after midday and I am going to the GP (doctor) this afternoon. They are only a two minute walk away but it's raining and very windy again today. I'm aiming to drive to the supermarket (only a few minutes away) and get my mail from my post office box.
@lonelyremoteguy
Hope all is going well for you with errands and GP. The weather sounds a bit dreary with the cold and rain.
It's close to midnight here and my back hurts - but it's a good thing! It's because I worked so hard today. I can't believe how much I did! Maybe not a lot for others but certainly was a lot for me. I felt like today was going to be one of my more productive days in this cycle of my "good" and "bad" days - but I also think that chatting with you has cheered me on, just knowing that someone else is trying out there somewhere and if they can put in the effort to reach their goals then I can do the same towards my goals.
I notice how you mention exercise (walking) quite frequently. I'm in need of much more exercise. It's on the list. I will have to start with small goals for this as well. I basically loathe exercise. But I know I should at least start a walking routine soon. .. I haven't been ready to face that yet.
But back today - today was almost like exercise! I'm actually quite proud of my efforts and accomplishments for the day.
It feels so much better to be "good" tired instead of "defeated" tired.
Hi Parkey. Hoping your goals are progressing. 👍😊
Back to the drawing board for me. Still looking for a choring partner (kind of).
I may just be my own partner haha.
For some reason I tend to want to share my accomplishments - and my lament when I struggle. This may become more of an online journal to myself.
Been having mostly very good days. Want to try to continue the trend.