@Breezy2013
Okay, now I understand your question much better.
I can solve your problem instantly...
The best way I found to set MAXIMUM boundaries here AUTOMATICALLY is...
INSTEAD OF taking Chat requests from the "General Request List"...
or
INSTEAD OF replying to "Member's Direct Messages"...
DO THIS: only reply to Questions people post in Forums that appear on theses 2 lists...
"Needs Reply List" https://www.7cups.com/forum/?s=NeedsReply
or "New Thread List" https://www.7cups.com/forum/?s=New
I'm NOT talking about "Q&A Questions" at the "7 Cups Community Q&A" page here https://www.7cups.com/qa/ .
I avoid "7 Cups Community Q&A" completely.
BENEFITS OF INTERACTING WITH MEMBERS USING ONLY THE "Needs Reply List" or "New Thread List"
You use the Forum thread environment as an "existing infrastructure boundary" that avoids Chat and Direct Messages completely and all the problems that can occur in the Chat and DM environment.
That way, you are completely protected from Member abuse or stress or pressure that results in making mistakes.
And there are so MANY BENEFITS of avoiding chat as I explain below.
Your stress level will go down dramatically. You will eliminate most of the bad things.
I find it's a much better use of my time here answering people's questions they post... rather than Chatting or Direct Messaging.
Why? Because...
1 You completely avoid problems Members can create in the Chat or Direct Message environment. Listeners are often abused by Members. Members play games with Listeners. Members pretend to be something they are not. Members shop around for Listeners who seem entertaining and dump everyone else.
also... Members play "Drama Triangle Roles" in Chat like the role of "Helpless Victim" or the "Bully or Meany". Here is information about the Drama Triangle role concept http://nicertube.com/q80ns0 and how to avoid it's traps.
2 When answering Forum thread topics... You can pick the topic you feel comfortable and interested and knowledgeable about in replying about. THAT IS A HUGE KEY BENEFIT. You can become an expert in your topic area over time because you can focus on solutions rather than having to focus time and effort on picking the exact words that will make someone feel good in the moment in a Chat maybe if you're lucky.
3 When answering Forum thread topics... There is no time pressure. You can take your time to really really think of a good answer. You have time to do research. You can even answer threads that were already answered by other Listeners. You don't have to be the first person to reply. You can give your reply when you are good and ready. You can add to the ideas others provided. Others can comment on your ideas and give feedback. And you can do the same. It creates a very dynamic rewarding result.
4 When answering Forum thread topics... All communication is in the open public Forum. So people have to behave properly. So people are much more polite. The forum moderators can step in and fix problems. Others Listeners can reply too. All that keeps people on their best behavior.
5 When answering Forum thread topics... Your posted effort is permanent for all to see, unlike Chat which disappears like Dust in the Wind.
Also it's...much better for the Forum community because you will learn over time working on your chosen topics. You can reuse and build on the material you posted in the past. You will get a good reputation. People in the Forum can see your contributions. You can link to your contributions in other Forums where appropriate.
Essentially I use 7Cups like one would use QUORA.com or REDDIT.com or other good quality Q&A websites for maximum benefit for me and for the community.
6 When answering Forum thread topics... After you post your reply, you might realize your answer was so good that others might be interested in it. So you can great a GENERIC thread post in a Forum. I've answered many Forum threads and my replies usually gave me great ideas for my own Forum threads. I just expand on the idea, do more research, refine it, and then post a generic thread on the topic in the appropriate Forum.
7 When answering Forum thread topics... It's a much much much better use of your time. It's much more rewarding. It's a WIN-WIN in the Forum environment, unlike the Chat environment or DM environment, which is often WIN-LOSE or LOSE-LOSE.
Other people love to Chat or Direct Message and provide emotional first aid. So I let them do the Chatting because I am much better at answering Forum question as explained above.
Please forgive any typos above.