Lukewarm Responses in Sharing Circle
Hello everyone,
I recently vented out a bit in the Sharing Circle, but felt underwhelmed. I have had perhaps near to 3 minutes of sharing a deeply personal issue there, but after a while I felt alone because of the lack of responses. Later on, I visited the Sharing Circle again and, this time, someone else shared his/her issue. I think I now understood why people feel hesitant to respond.
The person who shared his/her issue seems very distressed and keeps asking for our opinion/advice. However the rules of the group support room strictly prohibits advice, even when it is requested. As someone who has vented in Sharing Circle before, I think I will appreciate response in the form of advice even if I end up not following it. In the internet as in real life, I think people really appreciate it when you respond to their story. Perhaps, the rule of "No Advice" need to be revised or relaxed at least. I feel that general non-controversial advice such as "forgive yourself", "don't neglect yourself" etc., are more likely to be beneficial to the chatroom than to be harmful.
Again, thanks 7 Cups community for being here while I was facing a difficult problem. I wrote this thread only as a suggestion which may strengthen our community even more.
Thank you for your suggestion.
Thank you for expressing your opinions. We are glad that you have joined the sharing Circle and you somehow liked it more or less but you have some issues. Sharing Circle is considerably very new compared to other rooms. We are constantly trying to improve the experience for everybody sharing. The mods in the room are always trying their best to keep the room safe and comfortable. l completely understand that certain phrases of support can lift the sharer's mood. In my opinion ,certain phrases of support like you mentioned are absolutely fine and you can use them. We are trying, so that the room becomes more safe for everybody to share and also that they can provide brief support messages to support the sharer. Thankyou for your feedback. It is most appreciated.
As a semi-regular host of Sharing Circle, I appreciate the feedback as well. Being mindful of "no advice" rules, and "No questions, please", I have wavered a few times on (A) asking participants not to give advice when they offer it to a sharer; and (B) wanting to offer what seems like a really good quote that I feel cuts to the heart of the matter and helps see things in a new light--but could be interpreted as advice! It's a very fine line sometimes, between supportive comments/stock phrases like odat, stht, and so forth, and saying, "Have you tried X? What about Y, or even Z?"
It will be interesting see how Sharing Circle guidelines evolve. Thank you for posting the question!
