6 Ways to Make A Change in Group Support - No matter who you are.
This post goes out to all members, listeners and moderators. It's for all the group support humans out there who want to be a postive force in our group support chat rooms! Have a read, give it a try, share below and let us know how it goes...
➊ Welcome & Invite
Real human people are entering the support chat rooms all the time. Sadly, some will leave still feeling alone, still lacking connection and still having never gotten to know any of you. Be the one who makes that difference for them. Really look out for people entering and think about what would make you feel warm and welcomed. Remember, a great welcome is more than just hello.
Ask a question. Say hi and find out how theyre doing. Keep in mind that they dont know the context of what is being discussed in the chat room right now and explain to them what everyone is chatting about! Invite them in and dont allow that person to feel like an outsider. Be the one who shows another human they matter today.
➋ Find Common Ground
Let me tell you a secret - were all way more alike than we may realise. Discover and explore something several people in the room have in common. Do you all have similar struggles or feelings about something? Do you all love the sunshine? Are you all human?! When someone shares, ask around and see who else can relate. Seeing that others feel the same way is a powerful thing. Its a beautiful group chat moment waiting to happen and you can lead the way.
➌ Hold Space
When someone is feeling blue, dont rush to silver line their problem or sweep their feelings under the rug. Hold the moment with them. Be there. Tell them you know its hard and really imagine how they must be feeling. Sometimes, what we need most is someone to deeply understand us before we can find a way out of it. You could be the only connection another human has this week. This is a great video explaining empathy. Try it and see!
➍ Break Ice!
Out of things to talk about? Feeling like you want something more lighthearted? Theres always plenty of ice to break and you can do this with our fabulous list of icebreaker questions right here. Here are some more bonus suggestions to inspire you:
What is everyone doing for the rest of the day? How did you all sleep last night? If you had a magic wand and you could change one thing right now, what would it be? What is your biggest fear? What is something wonderful about you? What did you do well this week?
Let your creativity shine through! The possibilities are endless.
➎ Give Hope
Have you been in the same position someone else is in right now and found the way through it? Do you have a favourite quote that has given you hope? What puts things in perspective for you? What has motivated you to keep on keeping on? Tell someone about the light you found at the end of the tunnel. We could all use a little hope.
6. Set the example for fostering supportive space
Your behavior is impactful. The way you conduct yourself in a group can influence others. So, ask yourself: do you model good behavior? Do you guide others to follow the chatroom rules and community guidelines? Are you encouraging your peers to follow your example? Supportive environments thrive only when we are contributing positively. You have the power to keep our group support ecosystem healthy by simply being a good citizen.
Share below and let us know what worked well for you!
Edited as on June 09, 2020 by ASilentObserver
If we are discussing anxiety i always tend to suggestwhat gets me through it but never actually give them advice on how to deal with anxiety. I always welcome people and ask them questions I want them to feel as welcome as possible as I have experienced the feeling of feeling as if I am unwanted or out of place in a group support room on many occasions so I'd leave.
I don't want them to feel that way so I welcome them with open arms :)
@Heather I love this! Thanks for the reminder <3
First of all, great post.
I wanted to focus on the "Giving Hope" suggestion. I know you meant in group chats, but this could apply in 1 to 1 chats members have with listeners too. I have many times connected with listeners who have struggled with the same things I struggle with, listeners who have found a way through, but when I ask them to share this "Iight at the end of the tunnel" with me, many feel they cannot because they feel it would be giving advice. I realize not giving advice is a 7cups policy and understand the reasons for that policy. But perhaps you could educate listeners that sharing things that have helped them is not giving advice. It is giving hope.
@FrozenGhost
I agree with that. Sharing that you used to struggle with something; but have got through it and are doing better now, is providing people with much needed hope. That's not the same as giving advice on what they should do. I personally think that if a listener was to include some of the resources they personally used, that might be okay, as long as they made it very clear that everyone's journey is different, and that they need to work out what works best for them rather than try to just copy someone else's healing journey. It can be used as inspiration or hope; but in the end listeners aren't experts, and shouldn't tell people to do things in order to recover in same way they did it.
@FrozenGhost You make a very good point, my friend. Thanks for raising this point.
Great posts! I've found a high degree of validation and support are helpful.
Thanks for including this in the intro. I am sure I can find common ground and look forward to navigating the space.
@Heather
Good to know info. Am working on it.
Thankfully 🙂
@Heather thank you! Very helpful post❤️
@Heather
thanks healer, nice animation video about empathy and sympathy thanks to share. :) very helpful post
Hello I'm the kind of person that likes to give hope. I found out that a lot of the members are going through what I've overcome. I enjoyed telling my story to let them know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. But in order to reach it you cannot give up. I'm thankful because I had a wonderful support system and was able to have therapy to give me the tools that I need to reach that right at the end of the tunnel.
Very helpful share so many will benefit from it. 👌👌👌
@Heather
such a lovely post heather. Thank you. 😊🌻