What is Anticipatory Grief?
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Hi Community,
I am so glad you are here with us. Last year, I experienced the loss of my Grandfather who was very dear to me. It was a huge adjustment including before he actually passed away and I knew I was experiencing anticipatory grief. Some of the feelings I felt were tearfulness, anxiety and intense sadness but in a way, I think it actually helped me to come to terms with the loss.
Anticipatory grief refers to the grief that occurs when you are expecting or anticipating the death of someone close to you. Rather than grieving after a loved one has passed away, anticipatory grief involves grieving for someone during the progression of a terminal or life-threatening illness.When a loved one receives a diagnosis of a disease like cancer that reduces life expectancy, it triggers the grief process. There is grief over the impending loss, even as the person is still alive. Anticipatory grief can include the same symptoms of normal grief after a death, such as sadness, fatigue, difficulty sleeping, and loss of appetite. However, anticipatory grief also includes additional emotions like uncertainty, anxiety, and guilt.Anticipatory grief allows you to grieve while the loved one is still living, which in some ways can make the grieving process after their death easier. However, anticipatory grief is emotionally exhausting as you are constantly worrying and grieving for an extended period of time. The process can begin right after diagnosis and continue up until the final days or hours.
It is a very difficult process to go through but can also help us find more meaningful days for our loved one. Have you experienced this type of grief and what did you do to help you cope?
@LisaMeighanMScGMBPsS Dealing with this now with my father. Stage 4 cancer. He was diagnosed last month. He's not doing too good. It's hard. He just came back into my life not too long ago. We've been trying to repair and rebuild a relationship. Tbh I don't know that I am actually coping with it. It just - is. I don't talk about it much. I'm estranged and no contact with family and no friends in real life
@mytwistedsoul
I am so sorry that my response took so time. I am feeling for you so much. It is so difficult to go through what you're going through and I am glad you are here. It isn't easy at all especially when you do not feel like you can speak about it but I always encourage you to write about how you feel here. Please don't ever feel like you're alone. Anticipatory grief can be extremely difficult to process, during this time I hope you can be kind to yourself and take some time to reflect and process the heaviness in your heart right now.
It's also double-edged because he just came into your life and I can imagine how you've been feeling like he has just came back into your life and now he is unwell. These are all complicated emotions and I would encourage you to reach out for as much support as possible.
I am sorry to hear about your dog too. How awful. I know how this can really feel very triggering especially with everything that is going on right now. Please take care of yourself and keep visiting us here.
@LisaMeighanMScGMBPsS Thank you for your kindness. I'm sorry to hear about your grandfather. Losing grandparents isn't easy. I lost mine a few years ago too. With my father it's all happening so fast. I thought there would be more time. I was naive in my thinking. Thinking he would get better. All they've been doing is buying him time
@mytwistedsoul
I am so sorry truly and thinking of you as you navigate this extremely difficult time in your life. I am glad you are reaching out here and I hope that you know that you're not alone.
I think I went through this with my husband the last couple months? He was diagnosed stage 4 cancer untreatable. I was fortunate to be able to take care of him at home with a family member. I grieved each stepdown in health and ability. I really had to focus on giving myself 'permission' to feel things in the moment, instead of 'stuffing' them like I usually do.
Thank you for posting this, and thank you to those who have shared their grief. It helps a little knowing we are not alone- grief can feel so isolating sometimes.
@ALifetimeAgo I'm so sorry for your loss ❤️
@ALifetimeAgo
I am so glad to hear that you gave yourself space to grieve. especially, when we are a caregiver we find that we are unable to fully process those feelings of grief because we are always focused on everyone else. You are definitely not alone and I am glad it helped you know that there are others that have felt anticipatory grief too.
@LisaMeighanMScGMBPsS