Senior Dog Health Issues - Grief, Loss
Hey everyone.
This is not a happy post, be warned. I just really wanna vent or let things out somewhere. And well, here feels like a pretty good place.
So yah, my dog, wonderful unique fella. Mix of Labrador, Dalmatian and Golden, is pretty much terminal. He's 12 years old so we (me and my parents) kinda figured he wouldn't have much longer.
It was just such a shock. We were at the vet last night, they checked him out and did an x-ray. I kinda just figured "we're in 2022, medicine has taken huuuge leaps surely they can do something to help him." And then we hear the opposite. He has arthritis, which we have known about for years. And it's like narrowing or "hugging" the nerves in his lower back. Not squashing but yah effecting them negatively. He doesn't walk well, sometimes it's like he forgets that he has hindlegs.
We have medicated him for about two years but it doesn't seem to be doing a lot lately. Sooo....we're in a predicament. The vet said they **might* be able to do surgery, which **might** help and give him more time. But his quality of life is of course also a factor.
I'd just love to get him a better ending. Like yah do a surgery which would make him better for a while. Just so he could at the very least enjoy the time he has left, walk properly for one. But we got a lot of "the odds are, chances are" etc. Surgery might not do much, then he might just have post surgery things to deal with. And at best it might only buy him a year.
Ahh man.......soooo we are like.....get him some more time. But what kind of time would that be, more discomfort?? Or maybe, put him to rest within 10 days or so. He's my first dog that I practically grew up with, so yah......this sucks! 😢😢😢
We don't really know what to do. Of course we don't want him to suffer, or get worse. But I don't want him to have a bad ending where he struggles to walk properly. I just want more time. Well who doesn't. The vet also said the kindest thing to do might be to put him to sleep.
I'm just super duper grateful I still got a cat, healthy cat. Senior cat, but at least cats typically live longer.
Anyone who has been in a similar predicament who has any insight?
Btw we live in Sweden. Soo yah treatment options, procedures etc is different from country to country. Maybe I'm silly, but feels like my dog would have more options in the US or even in the UK.
@VDarkAge
Oh also, forgot to mention. (I don't know how or if you can to edit posts) he's otherwise perfectly healthy. Except for the arthritis.
@VDarkAge. My grandmother's dog had a similar issue, but more problems, please do not! Do the surgery. Chances r, he might be ok, but recovery would be heartbreaking. By the time he'd be fully recovered something else might happen, it might be best to put him down. Collect his ashes, get a paw print. As a reminder or him. Knowing he's not in any pain is better then little pain.😇💙💜💙💜
@VDarkAge My heart goes out to you. ❤️ One of the hardest decisions we ever have to make is when it's time to let them go. Is it like myelopathy? Is there anyway to up his meds? I know that has downsides to it though because some can cause increased sleepiness or other health issues. But it might make him more comfortable. I know here there are a number of different meds to help with pain management. And more natural ways too. There's lazer therapy and acupuncture that are supposed to work really well and you could look into getting him a mobility cart but that can take time and work for him to get used to it. The most important thing is that he doesn't hurt though but I really do know how hard this decision is 😞
* sending you strength and much love to you and your beautiful boy* ❤️
@mytwistedsoul
I'm unsure what myelopathy is. (Googled) nope it's not that. After he got x-rays taken they said he has chronic deforming arthritis in the joints of the vertebra column. I talked to someone who works with this, the skeleton in dogs. He said there might be options, but he highly recommends we get a CT first to get a really detailed look at the entire back.
There might also be some medications for nerve pain. Though from what I gather it's not exactly nerve pain that is his issue. They are being...pushed on I suppose. No clue if that causes him pain.
I just hate this. Compared to last week he is a bit better. We are gonna get a CT. It's just when, just waiting to hear when.
In the meantime he gets as much help as he needs. Ahh man I hate this. Can barely talk or think about this without crying. He's my first dog ever, had him for 12 years. I don't want to seem selfish but I don't want to loose him. At least not like this.
@VDarkAge I don't think it's selfish at all. I'm really glad you and your family are getting a CT done for him. And that you talked with someone who works with this kind of thing. I really hope that there is an option that will help him have a fuller pain free life
I'm really happy to hear that this is a better week for him. I hope it continues. I hope it doesn't take too long for them to schedule the CT
I know what you mean about not being able to talk or think about these things without crying. It breaks your heart and you feel helpless
I know I'm just some stranger on the internet but could you maybe keep me posted on how he is doing and what you find out? No pressure of course but you'll both be in my thoughts and I'd love to hear how he's doing
@mytwistedsoul
Thank you. :) It's kind of a relief that someone says "you're not being selfish". Sometimes, it feels like it. But I help him live as normal a life as possible, so his quality of life is a good as possible.
I don't mind talking about this stuff here, I can keep you posted sure. Yes we are all just strangers on the internet. But, so what. Besides it's better to talk about all this stuff here than keeping it sealed up in our heads.
The CT isn't until next week. A bit further away than we would've liked. But in a way I'm happy about it. I keep having this fear, they do the scan, say "nope sorry, best to just put him to sleep". So the further away the CT is, the more time he has.
The arthritis has also been chipping away at his hindleg muscles. So I'm trying to train him everyday to help him. Though idk how much it will help. I mean if he has nerves that are being pressed on, maybe muscle mass won't matter. Then again his hindlegs need more muscle, so maybe if he gets stronger it will help. Well only time will tell.
How much can he improve in a week, no clue. Guess we'll find out.
@VDarkAge You're welcome :) Tbh I see you as a very caring and compassionate person when it comes to your furry friend. You and your family are doing alot more for him then alot of other people might. You're doing your best to help him to get around and I have to say I have so much respect for you for that. My heart lurched at the thought that they might tell you there's nothing they can do and I'm hoping with everything I have that that's not the case
It sounds kind of like you're doing like physical therapy with him? That is awesome and I think that can only help him in the long run by helping keep the muscle he does have. Plus it might help with any discomfort he might have. It just sucks so bad that they age the way they do and have to deal with every thing that comes with it
I really REALLY hope the CT has good news for you and your family and you'll all be in my thoughts
@mytwistedsoul Thank you again. ^^ Made me smile hehe.😊
I never understood that, how people can say "it's just a dog" or "just an animal". We have shared the same roof for over a decade, been in each others lives. He's family. I don't understand how some people can put down a family pet like it's some trivial matter.
Well the first vet that examined him before the x-ray was very grim. We are three owners, one wasn't at the hospital. Which was actually a good thing, because that first vet sounded like she wanted to put him to sleep right there that evening. If it comes down to that, I absolutely refuse to do it with anyone absent, ish. Imagine you're away on some unavoidable work trip and come home and your dog is gone and you didn't get to say goodbye. If it comes to that, there can't be much harm in waiting 24h.
I have taken some basic animal care education, I was interested in becoming a vet. I am no expert at all. But yes I try with my limited knowledge to provide some kind of physical therapy. You know when in doubt, google, lols. xD So yes I googled what exercises strengthen dogs backs and rear legs. I do those for a little while a couple of times per day. I think it helps him, but I can't do much at all about his nerves. Well at least I can try and help his muscles.
The CT will be, ahh, interesting. That first vet was so grim, so meh yah, I'm not super hopeful. The orthopedic specialist I talked to seemed more hopeful. Of course we won't know more until after the CT. But if it's good news, if he gets surgery, we still have to get him through all rehab stuff. And the frequently reoccurring topic is quality of life.
At the end of the day, even if he was 100% healthy, he might only have 1-2 more years and pass due to old age.
But maybe it will be 1-2 normal years, that would be the best outcome.
@VDarkAge Gosh I agree with this so much! To me they're not just some animal. They are my brothers and sisters - my family. They've been there for me when no one else was
You're so right. Everyone needs that moment - you can't just say oh well this person isn't here so it doesn't matter and you're totally right - I don't see what the harm can be in waiting until everyone can be there. Tbh - I actually had this happen when I was a kid and it still hurts. Everyone needs that chance
I had to lol - because Google is my go to for all sorts of things 😊 I remember reading a story not all that long ago about a guy who would take his old pup down to a river just to let him float in the water because it eased the arthritis his dog had - that to me is love. The fact that you take time to work with him - to try to ease his aches - to bring him comfort. He loves you all the more for it
Some vets *smh* I try not to judge but I sometimes wonder if they're in the profession for all the wrong reasons and I think that if an orthopedic vet is alittle more hopeful - that would be the one I would put my faith in. I mean realistically I know there's alot to take into consideration but I would go with someone who can offer me some hope and an extra 1-2 years is a blessing - a chance to do things with him that you may have allways wanted to do. Special treats - places you might have wanted to visit with him - extra cuddles ❤️
@mytwistedsoul Exactly. Our pets, regardless if it's a hamster, rabbit, parrot, cat, dog or horse. They are with us for years through ups and downs in life, just unconditional love and friendship. They deserve a proper end and goodbye.
Ahh man, sucks that it happened to you as a kid. :/ Though it might be a bit of a blessing and a curse. Blessing because you didn't have to be there and watch them go. But yah at the same time you lost the chance to say a proper farewell.
Oh wow that guy sounds amazing, glad he had the chance to do that for his dog. ^^ I would if I could, I only have a little stream nearby. And frankly my fella isn't really in shape to travel places, except for the vet of course. But I help him as much as I can and try to provide a normal life.
I know some vets are....well they are not the same. I know there is one place we are never going back to if we can help it. About 2 years ago a certain place didn't wanna do an x-ray, they said the x-ray could harm him. You know when they rotate the dog onto it's back and such. So we listened to the vet, that knows more than us, and said alrighty. Now in hindsight I wish we had got a second opinion. We did get an x-ray recently at a different place, that nurse who did the x-ray looked at me like "what??". They aren't allowed to speak ill of other places of course. Hindsight is a b****.
Years ago I read a scary story! A lady brought her cat I think, don't recall cat or dog, to the vet for just the annual vaccination. A vet came in (or a nurse) gave the cat an injection and after looked at the owner "you were gonna put this cat/dog to sleep right??" This vet didn't say a word, just euthanized the cat/dog. Poof just like that. o.o Like wow.......
Well just like human doctors, there are good and bad vets. I agree, of course we go to a vet who is a bit more optimistic. Which this orthopedic vet seemed to be. But yah as stated, my dog is an old fella, severe arthritis. That whole discussion if it's worth it, if surgery (if we get that far) would do more harm than good.
@hounddog2021
Thanks for the invite. :)
@VDarkAge Aw I can understand his not really being able to travel. I think the guy had pretty easy access to the river. It was just one of those stories that reminds me that there are people who feel like we do about our pets. And you're doing all you can now ❤️
Wow! That blows my mind that they wouldn't take x-rays! I mean holy cow what do they do for vet care then? And its so hard because these are supposed to be professionals - as pet owners we trust them to do the right things. We trust them to know what they're doing
Omg! I can't imagine! That poor woman! To lose her friend like that and to have the person be so cold about it and not even ask or double check. Just - gone 😞
Hopefully the CT shows something promising that the vet can work with
I've been wanting to ask - what's his name? You don't have to share if it makes you uncomfortable or anything
*strength and love to your family and you and your boy* ❤️
@mytwistedsoul There are indeed some nice stories out there, about amazing people doing these incredible things for their beloved fur companions. ^^
Yes in hindsight it kinda blows my mind as well. To be very blunt, we never got a 100% clear diagnosis, because we never got the x-ray. Arthritis was the best guess, but of course he at least got medication. All three of us (his owners) were a bit like "so he most likely has arthritis?" Pretty much. Now we know he has it, unfortunately
And that vet/nurse didn't even ask the owner "what are you here for today with your pet?" Just gave the injection. It is absolutely insane. Makes me wonder how that can happen, since all the staff in an animal hospital is educated and trained. So no, I don't understand how one can just give a pet an injection, without making sure it's the correct injection first.
His name is Ajas, unusual name I know. :3 It's based on another dog whose name was Saja. Flip Saja backwards and you get Ajas. Now the CT is so close, 24h away. I'm just like ahhh. When we pick him up tomorrow afternoon his future will be determined.
Well he shall be spoiled today, lots of candy! Well not a crazy amount. xD A reasonable amount. 😊❤️
@VDarkAge I think his name is perfect - unique! 😊 I'm sending you all so many good vibes and much love that his scan goes good and there's some news that things can be done to help him
Hey spoil him - there's absolutely nothing wrong with it and he's a good boy that deserves to be spoiled ❤️
You're all in my thoughts! ❤️
@mytwistedsoul Thank you.
Thanks to everyone who's commented. ❤️
Soo he's there now, we're home waiting for the phone call. Though the vet that looked at him when we got there......noot good vibes. I try to be rational, logical like, of course I don't want my dog to suffer. It's a lot easier to think about at home. When you are there, in the hospital, feels a lot more difficult.
Bah I hate that it hurts, that it feeeels so much. Wonder if it would be better if one was a person who just didn't feel much. Feels a smidge like, am I being silly.....??
I also don't want to be without any dog at all. I can't imagine not having a dog. Been in this routine, wake up, morning walk, for so many years. Looked a bit at a new puppy...which feels soo wrong when my old boy is sitting next to me or such. But....if the worst comes to pass, how long does one wait with getting another dog? I got no clue, never been through this nightmare before.
I had a rabbit once, ehh though not for long. Never had a chance to get close to it. It was sick when we got it (which we didn't know about) so it died quite fast. o.o Lols, what a story. xD
I know it's not a time to laugh. But it seems like a good idea to distract myself with some light jokes.
Hmm, I worked on a video for my dog and cat (got a 13 year old cat as well, who is healthy). But lately I kept wondering....is this gonna be a memorial video? In a way it feels like a good to work on a potential memorial video, and on the other hand it just makes me sad.
@mytwistedsoul Now we know, vet called.
Sooooo, I don't wanna go into details. Just to much damage, so next step is when.....to say goodbye.
We are gonna go pick him up soon. I'm gonna ask if they got any meds which could just make him a little better during his......well, final days. And if we can do it at home, I know an acquaintance who had it done at home. Less stress for the dog, easier.
I just stared at the phone, like into empty space. Feels so unreal, I'm shacking and I can barely type. God....I know this is part of having pets. Just....isn't easy, especially not the first time.
We did the at home thing almost 2 years ago. It was less stressful for her and it seemed right to have her here where all her things were - but you're right nothing makes it any easier. It doesn't matter how many pets someone may have had. We love each one just as hard and as fully because they are their own unique beautiful individuals. They should be able to give you something to keep him comfortable for a few days. Give him treats you might not normally. Make him a big steak or a cheeseburger. I know some people have given chocolate as a final forbidden treat
I'm so so very sorry
@mytwistedsoul We did get an extra type of medication. It might help him just a smidge to feel a bit better for a short while, like a week or so. But yah as the vet said, the longer it takes the more he suffers. And he is inevitably gonna get worse.
Well I suppose I can say what they saw on the CT, not just arthritis but several herniated discs. Mhm not one, several, some worse than others. And all that effecting his nerves. If it was just one or to surgery might be an option, but it's almost all of them that are compromised or effected. Apparently this is common for dogs his size and age.
Well I can't say I'm surprised. Of course this is awful, but he's slowly been getting worse for a while. So it's not a total shock. Yah you're right, it wouldn't matter if this was my 10th dogs, would still feel very bad. 😕 It's just so weird, six months ago he was fine. Three months ago he was fine....
Right now he is groggy, ya know sleepy from the sedation. Candy is boring right now. But yes I intend to spoil him. I'd wanna do more fun things with him, like take him to his favorite park and such. But yah meh, he doesn't walk well. I'll just have to do fun stuff at home.
Well you probably don't wanna think about this. You don't have to answer, it's not a nice thing to recall. But if you could recall, got any tips? For the final day. Idk things to avoid or keep in mind. Words of wisdom or comfort.
@VDarkAge I'm glad they could give you something for him to help. I know with my girl Kodie - they gave her about a month. I was lucky to get 2 months. And every day was like Christmas for her ❤️ She had bacon and burgers and steaks. We spent hours just sitting in the sun - watching squirrels and birds. Just taking in the feel of her coat - listening to her breathe and lots and lots of cuddles. Those would be things you could do with him at home. She couldn't do the steps anymore so I slept downstairs with her in the living room
On that day - oh gosh tbh - I was a wreck. Panicky and scared. I felt half sick - I mean it's normal I guess? The lady that came was so nice and so understanding. She didn't rush anything and explained what she was going to do - she patiently answered any questions. They give them 2 shots. They give them a sedative first. They're simply sleeping. She explained that it's normal if they snore even. She explained that they feel no pain. That was so important. Because - I mean noone wants them to suffer any. The second shot is the one. She checked her heart a couple of times to make sure. It was gentle and peaceful. We wanted to do it outside at a favorite spot she liked to lay but it rained that morning so we kept her in. She was on her favorite bed and had her favorite toy with her - her moo. I paid for everything up front - they actually suggested it because it would have been the last thing I would have wanted to worry about. Many places have different options - do what feels right to you. Even if you think you're being silly or stupid - It's not - just do it ok? We got a lock of her hair and a imprint of her paw and had her cremated. She sits on the mantel with her collar and leash and her moo. She's home where she should be and yes - on days when I miss her most I still talk to her. She was my girl and I loved her. I planted a dogwood tree for her. It flowers every spring
You will have moments when you'll question your choice - moments when you might wonder if you waited too long. That's normal too. There will be days when you'll think you're ok and something will bring it all rushing back. There's no time line - no date that says you have to just stop grieving by a certain time - it's all ok
*sending you strength and love* ❤️
@mytwistedsoul My god....holy moly. I cried just reading that.......😢
I suppose we have managed to get him an extra month as well. From the x-ray to the CT that was almost two weeks. I will also admit to more spontaneous snuggles. 😊Like before we go inside from the last walk for the day I'll just sit with him on the grass and look at the stars. Listen to the birds as they fly around and the wind blowing in the trees. Watch his big beautiful nose sniff.
I know how it's done. Never seen it in person but I like to watch animal documentaries and sometimes they do it on those. No surprise that you were a wreck, who wouldn't be. A cast of his paw could be very nice. When he was a pup we joked about his giant paws, like "omg, what kinda beast is this gonna become?" Hehe lols, well he is large, 38kg. Mix of labrador, golden and dalmatian.
I guess the most difficult thing right now is arranging it. Like no matter what, no day is ever gonna feel appropriate or right. Heck we considered this weekend. But I want to buy him lots of treats and spoil him. Would be nice if we had one more weekend with him. We could give him some human food I suppose, but he can have a sensitive tummy. Last thing I wanna do is make his tummy upset, he doesn't need that as well.
The thing that also really annoys me. You know how dogs can behave like they feel? Like a very sick dog will behave all weak and sick, no energy etc. So it's quite obvious and perhaps easier to make the decision. But my dog, he still has energy and a drive. You throw his ball and he will chase it, or he will try anyways. I mean what he has, it won't end him, it's nothing fatal. He still nudges my hand with his nose to try and get the ball. Which makes it all the more difficult, almost makes it feel like a waste to put him to sleep.
@VDarkAge
VDarkAge :
I am inviting you to join me in the Sharing Circle chat room where you can meet other 7Cups members that will listen to you and support you ! 😊.
@VDarkAge
You can look into a rear leg harness with wheels (the hind legs rest supported and your dog can still travel). If it were my dog I’d give that a chance first before surgery or the other option. Good luck.
@VDarkAge you can always talk to me I'm here for you and I need someone to talk to as well
@VDarkAge It's ok to find little things to laugh at. We all grieve differently. I have a tendency to make jokes at the wrong times sometimes
I think a memorial video sounds nice tbh. You could add pictures or if you have videos of when he was a puppy. Share little stories of silly things he did
As for getting another dog - there's no set time. You know what's best for you. I think it would be hard not having that routine - to have that emptiness in the house. Tbh - this is something I'm facing myself. I had two beautiful girls and had to say goodbye to one of them - this coming Thanksgiving it will be 2 years. She had cancer. So now I have just 1. She's mostly blind and deaf now and I've thought about a puppy but I'm kind of afraid she might get knocked over and get hurt so I've been waiting. For me it seems right to wait until - well you know. I keep hoping someone will maybe smile down on me and that she'll peacefully go in her sleep
But there's nothing wrong with getting another puppy if it feels right to you ❤️
@mytwistedsoul I've already worked on that video a great deal. I started it months ago when it would just be a fun video, tribute to my fluffs. I stopped working on it when I feared it would be a memorial video. But yes I have added fun times, pictures, videos etc. I'm a bit nuts with pictures, I have a lot. But I like to take pictures of things, pictures are memories.
Yah it would be a very empty house. Sure we still got the cat, but ahhh well you know cats. He sleeps mostly. He does break many cat stereotypes, but he still likes to sleep. Kinda thought maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea to get the puppy the day after, or a few days after. Not to soon but not after a month either. A month of such an empty house, ish. I have some neighbors that lost their dog two years ago or so, they are elderly so they said they wouldn't get another dog. But six months later they got lab puppy. The house was just to empty, to quiet.
I've thought about that as well, having a energetic pup skipping around while the elder dog is still around. Nah, frankly it almost feels wrong. The elder dog watching the dog skip around, because that's all they can do. And the pup would of course get more attention. Not because the elder dog is uninteresting, but of course puppies always draw more attention.
I agree that it might be best to wait. Terrible to wait I know.
A future lesson to myself, when a dog I own starts getting into their senior years, get a second dog. But the timing has to be right you know. So the senior dog still has a couple more good years and the pup can grow up, so they can both still play together. It just seems like a good idea to get a young dog when the first one is really becoming a senior. That way when the senior dog passes you will still have one dog. Kinda wish we had thought of that, but yah six months ago my fella was fine.
You know this forum post is becoming very large. 😊 Maybe we should move into a chat instead, might be more convenient.
@VDarkAge Arranging it was the hardest part. I guess here it was easier because she was slowly getting worse. She was losing her spark. I called the night before. I just couldn't stand the thought that she might have been hurting despite the meds she was on. I cried making the call and during and after tbh. But they were so understanding and patient and I'm grateful for that
Oh yeah you definitely don't want to cause tummy troubles. I didn't even think of that - so I would just give him things you know won't make him sick or cause him any issues.
I don't see anything wrong with having the weekend with him. Or even doing one day at a time. With my girl she kind of let me know herself because that spark was fading. When the vet first told me it was so hard to believe because she was still playful - still a happy bouncy girl. I asked about surgeries - treatments but it was so advanced all ready. There was nothing anyone could do. So we took it one day at a time
God he sounds beautiful. I can imagine his nose twitching in the night air catching all the scents. The perked up ears. It's so hard when the only problem is their body but they still have so much life in them
Lol cats are a trip. We have a cat - Pita. He's a stray that showed up and decided he lives here now. He's ok but yeah a cat isn't like a dog. I keep saying that when Taz's time comes - I need a break - my heart needs a break but I'm afraid the house will be too quiet. I will miss the sounds of paws on the floor. The house will feel lonely and I will miss having a furry body around
It does feel wrong to get something right now. Something that would take attention away from her - these are her golden years and I don't want to take anything away from her. It just happens so fast it seems. The time passes so quickly and you can't quite picture when this time is coming. Maybe we fool ourselves? Thinking there's always time.
That does sound like a good idea though that maybe when they hit 7 or 8 to look into getting another puppy but there's also a downside to that because when the one passes - like Kodie did - Taz looked for her. That was so heartbreaking too. They grew up together. That was her sister. So there was my grief and hers but I guess maybe in a way it was better than grieving alone? But then another puppy could be gotten at that time and that would help too. That might be the best way to do it. Then there wouldn't be any silent moments
I've found you can never have too many pictures. I actually wish I had taken more and did more videos. To catch them playing together. The goofy things they used to get up to because they were so funny and so sweet together
@mytwistedsoul I completely understand. It is quite hard to watch them struggle, especially when they still have that spark. And when it's like game over, there's nothing else that can be done.
I did investigate it today, how to put my dog to sleep. What companies there are, prices booking etc. I cried just reading on the websites, ish ish ish. To think people go to work everyday with a job to end the life of a pet, ish. I could never have that, bah.
Well I figure he can get looots of his food. He didn't have much appetite yesterday after the sedation, but his appetite is back. So I kinda figure, it doesn't matter much if he eats a lot now. And yah candy for no reason, just because he likes it. ☺️
I can relate. I also asked a lot about any possibilities. I almost felt dumb for asking several times, like some persistent stubborn thorn who wouldn't accept a clear answer. But yah the vet was at the end pretty darn clear when he just said "he is suffering" and on the phone "only thing left to do is put him to sleep". When an educated medical professional says that, guess the discussion is over.
I can understand needing a break. But at times like these, I suppose it's important to remember all the joy a dog brings to our lives. 😄Watching them grow up, all the adventures and fun. Just cuddling on the couch together or taking a nice long walk. I used to bike a lot with my dog, ahh was a ton of fun. Me and him going through town, felt like a real team. 😍 We need to remind ourselves of the good times, and I do believe they outweigh the bad. This period, the end, it's horrible. But it's part of it all, sadly. Almost feels like a marriage, for better or for worse, in sickness and in health. I had that thought earlier today, seemed funny.
Aww the sound of the toes, hehe indeed! Darn I'll miss that. Indeed, we always think there is time. It doesn't feel like 12 years, it's idk.....blink and poof. Time is always, or often, the thing we chase.
Yah you're right about that, a young dog and a senior. When the senior passes the young dog will also grieve. But on the plus side, you and the young dog can grieve together. So there's always that.
One day at a time, words of wisdom. Just make the best of every moment.
@VDarkAge
Letting go of a beloved pet is very hard. It feels like the decision is never the right one. With our boxer, we was very healthy then suddenly he stopped eating. We found out he had cancer and there wasn't much we could do. We thought we had plenty of time but he passed a week later. Unfortunately it was while we all were at work and my daughter found him. With our other boxer, he lived till 13 which is very old for a boxer. He was having trouble walking and was having trouble moving around. We decided to make the decision to let him go. It was very hard but we felt that at least we could be there holding him.
@Christina472 Cancer, ahh man that's horrible. And you weren't even home when it happened....I can't even imagine coming home one day and just...finding the dog still on the floor. Must've been very very hard for you all. Sorry he went out that way. 😢
At least he was in the comfort of his own home, with family.
It would almost be preferable if they go on their own terms. It would be easier, instead of us owners deciding what day should be the last.
Well this is a reason I am home as much as possible. My dog doesn't really have anything that can end him. But I just don't want to leave him alone. So I try to make sure someone is home with him as much as possible. But yes, the decision is very difficult.
@VDarkAge Oh god yeah that's not a job I could do either. I mean I respect that they can but holy moly I'd be crying all the time. Not to make a dark joke but I don't recall getting that advice on career day at school ya know?
Aww I'm glad he's got his appetite back and is getting lots of candy :) all the snacks for the goodest boy ❤️
It sucks so bad asking over and over - are you sure? Can't we try this or that or maybe if we do this. Denial at how cruel the choices are
They do bring alot of joy and laughter. Tbh - I worry about Taz so much every day between the deafness and being allmost completely blind. I watch her like a hawk and sometimes she gets these silly moods and does this silly little dance. I love those times because its nice to laugh and not feel the worry
You're right its all part of it and it is alot like marriage with the sickness and health - for better or worse
You've had many good years and made alot of good memories with him.i know that doesn't make this any easier but those memories will allways be cherished by you. I don't think he could have asked for a better person to share his life with and I hope you know that you did and are doing the best you can for him and without knowing anything else about you - I respect you so much because of how much you love and care about him
Just take it one day at a time - enjoy each one all you can ❤️
* I had closed my listener account months ago - too much going on to keep up with it but I'll uncheck my box to allow listeners to contact me - if you have a listener account - you're welcome to reach out that way if you need or want to
* peace and love to you and Ajas* ❤️
@mytwistedsoul Agreed, I dont understand how people make a living with such jobs.
I felt like a nuisance. xD Just asking like the same thing repeatedly but with different words over and over. Well no one wants to give up, to call it or quit on their pet.
Awww Taz, deaf and blind. 😕But glad to hear she still gets funny silly moments, such as with that dance hehe.😊 Even senior dogs still have their silly moments.
Indeed, we've had a long good ride. Heard something a bit funny today, he has passed the average lifespan of all his breeds. Dalmatian, Lab, Golden, well oki Dalmatian is 13 years. But still, he is pretty much sitting on above average. So what I heard was "well done to the owners" for keeping him good and healthy all these years. Hehe made me smile.
Thank you. :) I wish more people would cherish their pets as much as you and I, would be a happier world. Thank you for showing so much support and compassion even though I'm a total stranger. The internet can be a force for good. ^^
Well now I got a week, made the dreaded booking. x.x Had thought to do it this Wednesday, but that didn't work so next week...bye bye. On the plus side, one more week with my boy.
Ahh that is a bit tricky, I'm not completely familiar with how the chat works here, but I'm no listener, or yah don't have a listener account.
@VDarkAge You did do really good at keeping him happy and healthy for so long ❤️ he's still pretty happy I'm sure - just old age sucks
The world would be a way much happier place. I have had people who passed away that I didn't grieve as strongly as I did my dog. Maybe that makes me a bad person but pets love unconditionally. Their actions show their love - no words needed
You're very welcome and at the risk of sounding like a corny idiot or something similar - I'm honored that you shared Ajas with me here
I hope during this week you and Ajas have nice sunny days. I hope these days are filled with birds and good smells for that nose of his to catch and lots of cuddles and treats and that the time passes slowly ❤️
Hey no worries on the listener part either - I'm quite content in the forums because the chats only hold so many messages before they disappear into the unknown and are gone forever. This thread will be here forever unless you as the OP decide to delete it ❤️
@mytwistedsoul Old age sucks indeed, no matter if it's for dogs or humans.
That does not make you a bad person, I can relate. I mean some people might be in our lives but we might not get that close to them. Even if it's family, just because someone is family doesn't mean everyone is super close. But our pets, they are with us everyday, so of course we end up being closer to them. 😊
Lols, you do not sound like a corny idiot. Sometimes it's fun to be a bit corny or a bit cheesy. It's been good to share this about Ajas. Well not good exactly, but still it's nice to talk about this, just let it out.
Well it snowed here recently, so now it's just kinda grey slush everywhere and grey skies. But yes hopefully we get some sun. Winter here is often quite grey though.
As far as I know the forum never expires. And it is better to let out all emotional stuff here, all thoughts, grief, etc. Sooo nope, can't say I plan on deleting this thread.
Ahh man, was just funny...well not funny funny, crazy funny. After the CT, I wanted to get some dog food, just to make sure he had enough food. I knew he didn't have much time left, so I asked for the smallest bag, which was 4kg. He eats special vet food. I ended up buying a 12kg bag, which was the smallest they had. After that I went to the pharmacy to get the new meds to help make him a bit more comfy. I asked for the smallest box. Guess how many I got...a box of 100 pills. Supposed to give him two per day.
I got pills for 50 days and food for like a month, both will last longer than him. Just..omg...lols. Not funny funny, crazy weird funny like, is this a joke? Are you for reals? Feels like someone was messing with me, pulling a prank on me.
@VDarkAge Tbh - I'm not close with my family. But yeah my animals - definitely closer with them
It is nice to be able to talk about all this. I mean - I definitely wish it had a happier ending for you but it's good to have a place to let it out
We've been fortunate here and haven't had much snow. Just some squalls and dustings but it melts pretty quickly yet. It won't be long though before it snows and sticks. I bet Alas likes the snow though - especially when he was younger
I think you're right - the forums never expire. I know sometimes things get archived but they're still here
Oh god! I loled but it was kind of a sad lol because it's allmost insulting when stuff like that happens. Like a cruel joke. I had something similar happen here. It was the day we found out about her cancer. We had just gotten back from the appointment and I got a call - from the vet. I'll admit I answered in a hurry because - hope ya know? They got the diagnosis wrong or thought of something we could try. It was to set up an appointment for her yearly shots *smh* I just stared at the phone. This bubbly voice on the other end informing me that it was time for her to get her shots. I admit I didn't handle it politely and they apologized like crazy saying that her files hadn't been updated yet. But it was like - we were just there 2 hours ago - you had to have noticed that I was visibly upset. You had to have known something was wrong
Tomorrow will be two years that she's gone now. Some days it still feels like yesterday and in a way it's even sadder because I have an odd feeling it might be my other beautiful girl's last Thanksgiving too. But I'm trying not to think about that too much and instead just taking one day at a time
Are you holding up ok? I know all this must be weighing on you pretty heavy
@mytwistedsoul Ohh the snow is already gone, lasted like two days. But yes Ajas likes it. He sticks his nose into the snow and sniffs like crazy, you can hear how his nose is working and see when air from his nostrils makes some snow fly ahh adorable.😍 It's also nice to see the white flakes land on his black fur.
Ohh dear that sounds really bad!😱 To call the same day, like....they just gave her diagnosis, wow. I would've been upset to. I understand mistakes happen of course, but wow. Some mistakes just shouldn't happen.
Good idea, take it one day at a time. My fella won't see Christmas this year, ish. Will feel idk, quite empty to have Christmas without a dog. Yes of course there's still the cat, but as we said it's not the same. But your current dog doesn't have any health problems or? Just deaf and blind. Doesn't mean she's going anytime soon.
I'm holding up okay I suppose. Been a week now since the CT and the real confirmation that there's nothing that can be done. I suppose I've kinda accepted it.....maybe. Other times it feels so unreal. Like when he goes crazy and flips and rolls around in his bed, or goes after his ball. That's the thing that really sucks about this, he still has energy and life. He would easily have another year or more if it wasn't for this. Though it's not fair to him, having a life where he can't do much and can't be a normal dog.
Hate to say this, in a week he's gone. My best friend is gonna come over, she wants to see him one last time and say goodbye. And we gotta pick an urn....jez, hardly a decision one wants to make. I'm home with him as much as possible. I wish the week would slow down, it's already Wednesday almost Thursday, jeeez. I don't want next week to come.
@VDarkAge I'm so sorry for my delayed reply - I've been trying to get over being sick
He sounds like such a sweet beautiful guy. I was thinking maybe Christmas would be the time to think about that puppy? I mean a new puppy will never replace Ajas but it might help ease some of your pain. You know what would be best for you though and everyone handle things differently and none of it is wrong
Taz is in her teens now too. She's got some mild sundowner syndrome. Never knew dogs could get that. She gets restless at night and paces and she gets forgetful. So Idk - she's not in any pain but there's some difficulties with getting her to eat - she'll turn her nose up at everything sometimes and then other times she eats really good. Surprisingly she hasn't lost any weight. I do worry about her quality of life during the times when the sundowner is really bad
It would be hard. As the days pass - seeing him be so playful at times. God life can be so cruel that way. It's insulting at how fast the days go by. I would really be freaking out. Looking for ways to postpone what I know I really can't. Knowing there's nothing you can do to stop it from moving forward
I'm glad your friend is coming over to see him. It'll be good for you too. To have someone you can lean on alittle right now. I would imagine your parents are probably having a hard time with this too
I'm glad the snow has melted - hopefully the past few days have been nice enough so you and Ajas can enjoy some time outside ❤️
@mytwistedsoul No worries, we all got stuff to do. You should be taking it easy if you're sick. Get better soon! 😊
You know....we actually looked at puppies today. Feels so darn weird and almost wrong to do it while Ajas is still here. But it's not like we got it today, only looked. But right now it is very likely we will have a new little pup around Christmas. Which is of course great and fun! I just hate that Ajas will go first, ish. About 3 weeks with no dog....dang the house will feel weird. But we all agreed that we do not want to be without a dog. Which of course means we have to look for a new one. My cat will just have to tolerate a lot of extra cuddles. ☺️
Nope no dog will ever be able to replace Ajas. Just like Taz could never replace your girl you lost two years ago. But you know life, it realllllyyy sucks sometimes. Gotta keep going, plan for the future. And not just think about the sad stuff but also remember the good times.
Ahhh Taz is a teen, so around three years old or so? So she's still young. But she has what.....sundowner syndrome. Never heard about dogs getting anything like that. I can see why you're worried, having a dog with some mental or neurological problem, ish. But is it manageable? I wouldn't worry to much about her not eating. I mean dogs can go one or two days without eating. They might puke, they tend to do that if their stomachs are empty. But I'd be more worried if she doesn't eat for several days.
Just like me with Ajas, I'm sure you are doing everything you can to help her and maintain a good quality of life. 😊During her really bad moments, well I don't know anything about this syndrome. Do whatever you can. Is there any kind of medication that could help? Feels like there has to be something one can do.
Well I'll admit, we all think Ajas may be loosing his spark. Sure he can still look at you and have his normal wonderful face, still look normal. Other times....nah, it's like idk, he realizes his condition. I'd love to postpone this, to never let him go. But it's not right, he shouldn't suffer because I don't wanna say goodbye. I hate typing this, but he'll go to a better place with no pain, no trouble. He deserves to be happy and healthy. I pretty much cried when I made the phone call and booked it, ish. But the lady I talked to was very nice, very understanding. I'm gonna call again and ask if we can get a cast of his paw done, a pawprint. So we at least got that, and the urn of course.
Yah Ajas will be happy to see my best friend as well. He is always so darn happy to see her lols. When he was younger he wouldn't leave her alone, mega stalker hehe. xD That's also one reason I invited her, it will cheer Ajas up.
Now it's kinda meh outside, wet and muddy. I prefer snow over mud. But when I walk him I stop often. Just sit and pet him, watch his nose, eyes and ears explore and observe everything. Big curios fella. 😍
@VDarkAge Thank you! 🙂
Aww - I'm glad you looked at puppies but I totally get you that it felt weird. I'm glad you all agree that you need a dog. It does suck that you're losing your boy first though. A house is just too quiet otherwise. Lol your cat will probably do alot of glaring! What is the over active monster you brought home! 😊 Gosh puppies are so awesome though. Everything is a new adventure to them
I might have written something wrong lol. Taz is about 13 or 14 now. We got her as a rescue. They said she was about 2 or alittle older when we got her. She had a rough start in life because they were using her as a bait dog in dog fighting 😞 The sundowner things is related to dementia or alzheimers. I never knew dogs could get things like that. There's not really much to do for her except be patient. Which normally I can be impatient but with her I have all the patience in the world. I know she can't hear - so when she lays on the floor I lay with her and put her head on my chest and hum to her because she can feel the vibrations. We just take each day a moment at a time. She ate good yesterday and was silly a few times. I told the vet at her last check up as long as she's not in any pain. That's important
Oh yeah I totally understand. Its just one of those maybe thoughts that come to mind when they're having a good day. Maybe we can wait but I know in his case he's probably still hurting even with the meds 😞 That phone call was the hardest I ever had to make so I understand crying when you made it. I'm glad the lady was so nice and understanding. That helps. I'm glad there's people like that in the world and I have to respect them for the job they do because I know I couldn't do it
The Rainbow Bridge. Have you ever heard or read that poem? They have it online but - be prepared to cry. It's not really a sad poem but yet it is. I still can't read the whole thing without crying tbh. You can even set up a memorial for him online if you'd be interested. There's a couple of sites that have that
Lol! He sounds like a was a fun fellow when he was younger! Mega stalker - that made me laugh 😁 ❤️ I can imagine him following her everywhere she went when she'd visit
Oh gosh yeah - I'd prefer snow over mud too! Its been rainy here lately and of course plenty of mud. And it warm enough to dry it up or even cold enough to freeze it
I hate to ask - what day are they supposed to come? So I can light a candle for him ❤️
*love and hugs to you and Ajas ❤️*
@mytwistedsoul I think it will be quite funny with my cat. He "survived" one puppy, now he has to tolerate and endure another. He's probably gonna be like some grumpy old man "calm down already" lols.
The puppies we saw were only four weeks old, I've never seen a pup so young. My word they were small. x.x Adorable! The parents were very nice as well. The mom kept sitting on top of me, in my lap. I hope her babies inherit that cuddly gene. 😍
You wrote that she was in her teens, but ahh that does explain things. Similar to humans, these kinda things typically begin when one reaches an older age. Assuming she was diagnosed when she reached an older age. I read a bit about her syndrome, she gets restless and wonders around a lot typically at night. Must be a challenge, especially when you're trying to sleep. I suppose there isn't much to do but be patient until she calms down. Curios, what breed is she?
Darn that was a bad start to her life. 😕I hate when some humans just use dogs for their own entertainment, just for sport. Unfortunately dogs that get rescued from those kind of situations often have some side effects, some trauma mentally or physically. Though with work that trauma can often be overcome.
Indeed, as long as she's not in any pain and otherwise healthy. That is most important. 😊This does seem like something she can live with, even if it's difficult at times.
Agreed. That is one reason I shelved my idea to become a vet. Sure it's easy to think that they help animals, save lives. But they don't always succeed, and sometimes have to deliver really bad news. So it's not as nice as I used to think. I wonder what it's like to go home at the end of the day after telling someone their pet is terminal, ish.
Yah I know of the rainbow bridge. I don't recall the poem exactly at the top of my head. I looked it up once when another dog I knew passed, when my best friends dog passed a few years ago. Though it is a comforting thought. That after our pets leave us they go to some eternally green paradise where they are never sick or in pain.
Oh yah he wouldn't leave her be. He was so clingy he was becoming a nuisance and he wanted to jump on her. xD He wouldn't even listen to me, was just so focused on following her every move. 😂
Tuesday, afternoon to be specific. So we got....48h ish.....
But I've had a lot of fun with him today, brushed his soft black fur. Had a "photo model" session with him during a walk hehe. Just wanted some pictures of him outdoors in the grass. And he got some bacon. 😊 Sneaky clever fella removes and eats the bacon first and then the bone, eats the best part first.
@VDarkAge Lol! That's it exactly - a grumpy old man! He'll realize it's safer to be up off the floor so he doesn't get mauled by an over excited puppy. Which I think sounds so cute! 😁
The puppies sound so adorable! It's nice when the parents are there too so you get to meet them too. That way you get and idea about their temperament. I don't think I've ever seen any at that age either. They sound so tiny - sweet and cuddly
She was diagnosed at the beginning of the year. I try to keep a schedule with her. And the vet said to keep her stimulated during the day so we go for alot of walks outside. We live in the woods so there's alot of nature for her to take in. Her eyes and ears might not work the best but that sniffer she has still does lol! And we do massages. She loves those. She's a lab and pit mix. Shes not very big - more petite I guess you'd say
Oh yeah I have no compassion for people who are cruel to animals. It's stupid and senseless. That's a good way to make me mad. She was so timid when we got her. It was amazing to see her blossom the longer she was here. She allways liked to make people laugh and she turned into an absolute cuddle bug. She never really liked car rides but she loves taking walks. We must have walked a million miles in these woods and she allways listened so good. She never chased the deer and if she got to far a head - a whistle and her name would bring her running back
I think one of the things that would get me the most as a vet is people's stupidity. That sounds harsh probably but some people really don't think when it comes to their pets. They let them out to pee unsupervised and then they wonder off or get caught up in squirrels. Roads and animals don't mix. Or they leave them in hot cars while they shop *smh*
Tbh - I struggle with religious things and what I believe. But like you said about the Rainbow Bridge - it is a comforting thought. I still like to light candles in remembrance and to sound totally sappy we'll probably plant a tree for Ajas. We did that for the neighbors cat and dog too. I'm alittle weird that way I guess lol
There must have been something about her that he really liked! They say animals are a good judge of character
Oh gosh 😞 the time went so fast. I'm so glad you had such a nice day with him. The photo model session sounds so sweet
I know I can't physically be there of course but you'll be in my thoughts - you both will and I'm sending you both strength and love ❤️
@mytwistedsoul Hehe yes indeed. It will be funny. Older cat vs puppy, that's never boring.
The parents, wow. The dad was with two other dogs, all three black dogs. When we meet them it was like "chaaarge!" felt like three large black dogs were attacking. xD They weren't of course, just coming to say hi with a lot of speed. But yes it's indeed a benefit to meet the parents and they both seemed very social and playful. The pups almost fit in the palm of one hand, my word so adorable.
Ahh at the beginning of this year. So she hasn't had this very long, at least that's good. Otherwise she has had a long healthy life yes? 😊Keeping her stimulated during the day is a great idea, get her brain tired and she will sleep like a champ, hopefully. Dogs can sniff a lot hehe yup. I often joke that the sense of smell is the last thing my boy will loose, he's got a brilliant nose. And it can get him in trouble when it leads him to "treasure", like something after a cat...ew. xD
Aww lab pit mix, sounds cute. Depends on the kind of pit, but usually pits average lifespan is at least 15. Glad you found each other. She may have had a bad start to life, but you helped her through it. 😄 Sounds like she has become a very good girl.
Yes indeed people can be just plain stupid with animals. In many different ways. I wouldn't mind if there was some pet owning license, so only people with some absolute minimum education got to own a pet. Some don't seem to realize it's a living creature, not a teddy.
Aww plant a tree for Ajas, go right ahead I don't mind. I'm not that invested in religious things either. But lighting a candle is absolutely something one can do. Hehe you're not weird. I was quite close with my neighbors cat, he was born same year as me and visited a lot. But yah he's gone by now. I like to think that some nice old lady is feeding him tuna everyday hihi. 😊
Time goes to fast sometimes. Like 12 years...where did they go? Poof.
Today is it...bah...like....7h ish. I know it's the right thing to do for him. The kind thing to do, doesn't make it any easier. If an owner really love their pet they won't have them suffer or be in pain or discomfort. Ish ish ish. I'm gonna try to be normal all day, dogs can tell if something is up or owners are acting strangely. Don't want Ajas to think something is wrong.
Give Taz a hug from me. After Ajas is gone I'll probably spend the evening hugging my kitty. He will have to tolerate extra cuddles. But I spent the night with Ajas, now he's just a few feet away from me. He'll get some extra nommies during the day, why not.
Btw my cats name is Truls, short haired orange Tabby. Mentioned him often so felt like maybe I should tell you his name. Very cuddly fella, when he isn't sleeping. And also very chatty sometimes.
@VDarkAge Someone once told me that the last greatest act of love a pet owner does is letting them go when it's time. They're right of course but no - it definitely doesn't make it any easier. It's hard when doing the right thing feels so wrong and breaks your heart
I'm glad you spent the night with him and he got to enjoy some extra time and treats with you. It is so so hard to act like nothing is wrong and they can pick up on emotions and vibes too. That 6th sense they have
I will definitely give Taz a big hug - a couple of them. Truls will probably tolerate those hugs because he'll know you're hurting and need him. He might even stick pretty close to you because of that. They're alot smarter then what most people give them credit for
The dogs at the place where you looked at puppies sound really great! Its nice to meet the owners too. It gives you an idea on how they're raised and its really great that they're social and playful. The puppies sound so adorable! So tiny! Like gosh I'll take two lol - one for each hand 😊
Yeah Taz has had a long and healthy life 😊 she's a spoiled furry princess lol
Lol! A cat tootsie roll treasure! Ewww yuck! Their noses can definitely lead them to trouble. Taz likes to find lovely things to roll in. Bird poop seems to be a favorite. 😝 nothing like going in to hug her and realizing she found a new perfume to wear. Silly dogs 😁
Later today I'll plant that tree in honor of Ajas. And I've lit a candle. Twilight forest it's called. Idk - it seemed fitting. Give him a big hug for me and a kiss on that big beautiful nose ❤️❤️