My experience with (when I know that someone is going to pass away)

TW  TW

Hello

I want to say that this contain sad ,grief, loss so this will be hard threads.

The most common question I hear, honestly, is a question that I can't say has an easy answer to. But I went through this and wanted to share it because I don't want anyone to go through the regret that I went through because of my poor thinking, as I believe. And of course, I'm not giving advice or anything like that, but I'm sharing what happened to me as an experience, or I don't know what to call it.

The question is :

What I suppose to do when I know someone will pass away??

The first time this actually happened to me was with my grandmother, may God have mercy on her. The doctors told us that her health condition was very difficult and that they did not know the results because her condition deteriorated suddenly and quickly, let's say without warning, due to the Corona pandemic. I knew that she would leave our world, but at the same time I did not want to believe this and found it difficult and I could not go to see her and support her morally and psychologically in her last days. When I finally got the courage to do this, it was too late and they called me to tell me that she had passed away. I remember that when I heard this, I felt a severe shock because I lost her first and also I was not by her side and I could not even say goodbye to her and I felt the intense regret that has not left me until now for 3 years, so that I am just talking about a very difficult subject for me to be honest.

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And after all these feelings and after I almost woke up from the shock of loss, I started to realize, I am sorry for saying this word, but I realized how stupid I was, why didn’t I go and be by her side, knowing how much she loves me and loves me to be with her and laugh in her face at least or talk to her so that she feels that I am by her side, because I only thought about myself and that I would feel sad or helpless because I would not be able to prevent her from dying, and I know that she is not waiting for me to heal her or anything like that, but she only wants to see her family members and those she loves around them so that she does not feel that she is alone in her last days. It is true that I know who will say, “Come on, Tulip, do not be harsh on yourself,” but I am not harsh. This is the truth, and it is true that I cannot bring back the past and correct what I did, but I wish I could. Because the feeling of strong sadness and my feeling of missing her and falling short of her rights and regret for not seeing her and saying goodbye to her and supporting her psychologically in her last moments is eating me up, and I know that she does not like to see me like this. I just shared this with you here because I don't want anyone to feel the same way I do because it's really painful to be honest. And of course I don't give advice and the decision is up to the person himself.

Thank you for listening.

I apologize if my words were sad or caused sadness to anyone.