Finding joy while grieving
Hi,
I recently lost two very close people and the world moves on, but I can't. I go to work, I talk to people, but still I feel lonely and I can't enjoy anything. In my free time I just lie in bed and think about them. I'm grieving. Things that used to make me happy no longer make me happy. Both of them died in August. I know that it is fresh and that there will come a time when I will be able to enjoy things again. I know that they would both want me to be happy. But I can't do it without them. Everyone recommends finding an activity that will help ease my pain. I'm not in the mood for anything since they passed away. How did you manage to find joy in at least some activity after the death of your loved one? What activity it was?
Thank you for every advice. I'm sending hugs to everyone who has lost a loved one. ❤️❤️❤️
@LeaRaccoon
giving you a hug and a bump for others to see this post <3
@LeaRaccoon i like that you're trying to find it, how are you achieving it
@tranquilShell4666 Hi, thank you ♥ I always loved movies and even though I am not happy when I watch them now I saw some pretty good for people who are dealing with grief. I can recommend Colateral Beauty. It made me cry for few hours but it was really nice movie.
@LeaRaccoon Now that you've mentioned it i think I've seen it a lot as well
It's never easy to deal with grief and loss. I still miss my grandfather everyday, yet that in itself is a powerful connection to him. A painful connection, perhaps, but a special one nonetheless. I miss him dearly, but I know that even if I no longer have him in my life, he is still my family and that will never change despite the fact that I am seperated from him by distance, time, and death. Although life moves on and we must to, we can still revisit good memories that bring us joy rather than dwell on sorrow.
I hope this helps, since I benefited from this mindset.
@951413suomynonA Hi, I appreciate your reply ♥ I am so sorry for your loss. And I also like the way you think about this. I know its good to do things which would make them smile if they were still here with us. That they would like to see us happy and to enjoy our hobbies, to reach our dreams. But when it's still fresh it's so difficult. Because those activities I used to enjoy I did with them. Dreams of mine... I really dreamed of reaching those with them. I dreamed of them being part of those dreams. So now its very painful. I hope some day I can enjoy those activities while thinking of my loved ones and not crying but being happy. I will keep trying because of them. I will try to be better so they would be proud of me.
It takes time until we can find joy in our lives.. I lost someone a couple of months ago too.. and I'm still grieving and not being able to work.. The only comfort I've been feeling is when I go and enjoy eating my comfort food (a Korean restaurant I go to once a week).. Otherwise, whenever I'm smiling or laughing at comedy things I watch online.. that joy seems to be just on the surface, not something I feel from within..
The people in my group support says they do tend to find joy until later on down their grieving journey.. once they've learned tools to move on, there will be times where joy comes and goes.. So, don't feel rushed to feel joy in your life at the moment.. Listen to your body/mind.. and take the appropriate measures to help yourself feel better..
@LeaRaccoon
@Jaeteuk Hi! Thank you for your response. I am so sorry for your loss. It had to be someone really special since you now feel this way ❤️ I totally get you. When colleagues are joking I am able to smile but its more about not destroying their fun. Its not the honest smile or fun... I don't want everybody to stop with their lives just because mine is not moving anywhere right now. But at some moments I'm just not able to understand how the world can move forward and I am not... How those songs they used to like can still be on the radio when they are not here anymore... It's the rough reality. But as you're saying it probably just needs time. I will be patient and keep trying because I know they would like to see me happy. It's not like I want to feel happy yet. It's just that people around me keep saying that I have to move forward and that I need some activity that will help me with healing. As you are saying I won't rush this.
@LeaRaccoon
it took a lot of time for me to find joy again after I lost my daughter- in fact it took years. The first year I was really just numb and I couldn’t even think about finding joy.
I think the important thing for me early on after a significant loss is to give myself permission to grieve. But to also remember not to stay stuck in the pain.
@Kristynsmama Hi! Thank you for your response. Im sorry to hear about your loss and I'm sending you a very big hug ❤️ Losing a child is the most painful lost and I can't even imagine your pain. I am always finding it so difficult to find words when I talk to his mother. Even though I am also the grieving one I feel like I don't have a clue about what she is coming through in her inner world. So everytime I just hope that I won't say something that will hurt her when talking about her son (my bf).
