Grief Misconceptions and Addressing the Truth

Misconceptions are dangerous and hurtful. There are several myths about grief. It is important to know what is a myth to understand what's true.

The first myth is that grief is an emotion. Believing grief is a feeling is a common misconception. It is easy to associate grief with depression. But grief is more than that. Grief is a process which is filled with many emotions. Some of these emotions are expected like sadness as then more surprising ones would be anger, frustration, guilt, and even shock. It is not uncommon to experience positive feelings during the grief process like relief (that the loved one is no longer in pain). It is also possible to just feel numb.

The next myth is that grief is bad. Usually when people think of grief, they don't think of anything good. The grief process itself is healthy. Grief is the mechanism that allows people to deal with loss.  Grief is the brain's way to slowly alter its pathways to accommodate to the new reality (i.e. a world without your loved one).

Another myth is that the more grief, the better. Just because some people show their grief more doesn't mean you aren't grieving. Some people naturally have an intense way of showing their grief, some don't. Both ways are healthy. 

It is also a myth that there is a right way to grieve. While we widely know that the accepted psychological idea about grief having five stages - denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.  This model was actually first made for explaining how people come to terms with their own terminal illnesses. Grief is not linear. People can go through these stages, can skip stages, repeat stages, and even experience things outside these five stages. Grief is more like a rollercoaster if we are being honest. Everyone grieves differently so don't fret if you don't match the "right" image of grief.

Finally, it is a myth that grief counseling is harmful. While most people do not need grief counseling to process their grief, it can be helpful. Grief is something hardwired into the brain, something we have been dealing with since humans existed.  Most people can deal with their grief without professional help but this does not mean grief counseling cannot be useful. It has been shown for people struggling with their grief, counseling can help. 

The one undeniable truth is that each and every one of us will eventually lose someone we love. We will all experience grief in one way or another. Grief can be a painful process and all we can do is take it one step at a time. We are not alone.

Can you think of any other myths, stereotypes, or misconceptions people think about grief? 

What can we do to educate people about the truths behind grief?

What are some things you want someone who reads this to know about your personal experience with grief?