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Clarifying the term "acceptance" and seeing how everyone is.

ThoughtLight August 20th

Most people have heard of Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross's 5 stages of grief model. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. People may go out of order, repeat steps and even totally skip steps and usually people are consciously every identifying any of these steps occurring. Due to me recent traumatizing loss I've learned there is a misconception on what "acceptance" means. I've heard people say they don't want to accept it. Of course nobody does. But it doesn't at all mean you have to be ok with what happened. It is very valid to never have to feel ok with what happened. Acceptance is simply just registering what happened and then moving on. It can happen in just a second or two and have no affect. I also have learned modern professionals really aren't devotedly following this decade's standard famous model anymore. The grief process doesn't need labels and labels just really don't help. Grief is unfortunately a natural emotional experience every human must experience at least once in life. But I know that it feels like the end of the world. With that said how is everybody? I'm a new forum supporter so I would love to meet everybody in the very special community. And if anybody ever needs to talk on a 1-on-1 basis please feel free to message me anytime and I will gladly help however I can and am fine to serve as a place to just vent and let all those conflicting thought out of your mind judgement free. We are all here to help each other. So, we don't have to go through our unique paths completely alone. 

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Tinywhisper11 August 20th

@ThoughtLight hugs you tightly ❤❤ how have you been doing and feeling lately?? Are you in a better place mentally now?

grieving is indeed a personal journey of so many emotions. I've accepted the fact my son is in heaven. But I will never get over it, I don't want to accept that he died the way he did. It's hard to process everything in my mind. That day, was the day I turned numb

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BlueDarkAurora August 20th

@Tinywhisper11 You have the right to deal with your grief and pain the way that feels right to you<3 Even if it takes a thousand years or even forever, it's okay <3 Cause in the end we all do meet again somewhere far away from here.

"You're a butterfly held captive, small and safe in your cocoon. 

Go on, you can take your time, time is said to heal all wounds" 

<3 

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ThoughtLight OP August 21st

@BlueDarkAurora I find it to be a life long process. It may improve then a trigger bring it back down. But with realizing it we are obviously finding new ways to make life work with it hence we are here and keep going. We are much stronger and more resilient than we will ever realize. Surprising ourselves with each new hurdle. Everyone reward yourself in some way. If I could I would send gold medals to you all. Just being here is a testament to strength. 

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BlueDarkAurora August 21st

@ThoughtLight True true <3 Your a kind soul ^-^ I hope you keep finding support and be able to provide support for all those who need it. You're doing amazing<3

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ThoughtLight OP August 21st

@BlueDarkAurora thank you very much. I appreciate it. 😊

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Tinywhisper11 August 21st

@BlueDarkAurora ❤❤ thanks sweetie ❤❤

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BlueDarkAurora August 20th

@ThoughtLight True<3 Acceptance doesn't mean you have to be okay with it. 

A thought hit a few days ago of buying a thing for someone long gone and there's nothing you can do about realisations like this but to just accept and be kind and gentle to your own grieving self <3 

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Tinywhisper11 August 21st

@BlueDarkAurora it's ok to still buy gifts for our lost ones ❤ I have a treasure box under the willow tree in the garden, i put his things in🙂 sometimes it makes you feel better ❤ hugs you tightly ❤❤I love you ❤

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BlueDarkAurora August 21st

@Tinywhisper11 Someday soon I will<3 And I agree it's okay to still buy things or do things as if they can hear or see, it gives a sense of still being connected, still sharing something. 

I believe he sees all that you get for him and his precious heart gets filled with so much love and excitement <3

The gif won't load so I'll just say it @_@ I love you tooo <3 :) 


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ThoughtLight OP August 21st

@Tinywhisper11 I've met many people through the hospice program who do this. So healthy and a great way to cope.

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ThoughtLight OP August 21st

@BlueDarkAurora you are right. We need to be kind to ourselves. Practice self-soothing.

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