The Little Things

Okay... I have to admit something...

Lately, my motivation and ability to accomplish things has been on the decline. I was once the top clarinet player in our school band, was flying through high school online, and had a million other commitments. I was never not doing something, and I admit... I loved it. However, that has changed recently; I am no longer top player, haven't worked on my schooling in weeks, and rarely do anything... I now know my wall very well from hours spent staring at it. I was beginning to get angry at myself for my lack of motivation, then I realized something.

Sometimes, especially if you have a mental illness, you will go through dark periods. Things will be hard, and you may not be able to accomplish much. This, however, does not define you. You are not defined by what you do and don't do. You are not the phone calls you didn't make, plans you cancelled, or work you did not do.

Maybe, all you were able to do today was breathe. That's okay. Be proud of that breath, it is an accomplishment. Maybe you were able to get out of bed. Look at you go! You did it, that is an accomplishment. Maybe you were able to shower today. Take in that water and cleanliness and be proud. You did it, that is an accomplishment. Maybe you were even able to do things like go to work/school. That is an accomplishment. Look at you! You did it!

You did not necessarily thrive. But, you did survive… you survived. That is the only thing that matters. For right now, you am doing the absolute best that you can. The absolute best. There is no shame in that. It is all-consuming – but you cannot let it devour you. You must fight. Fight for your next breath and for the small victories that allow for your continual breathing. You see, in a low time, every task – no matter how trivial – requires every ounce of effort you possess.

I understand that all too well. Just know it does not go unnoticed. My friend, you are still here. You are alive. With every breath, there is hope. With every victory, no matter the size, you have overcome your struggles. It does not define you. Do you hear me? Nor will it ever define you. You struggle with something; you are not your struggles. You are loved. You may feel weak, but you are not; you are incredibly strong. I dont care if it took you five hours to get out of bed this morning. Keep fighting. You are an inspiration. You still got out of bed.

Instead of spending your entire life berating yourself for all of those things you did not do, congratulate yourself on things you did. Celebrate the little things. Become your own biggest cheerleader. Learn to define yourself by the little things; they are what matter most in the end <3

Hugs and love to you all.. remain unapologetically and beautifully you <3

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