I managed to commit to the fight and armed myself against my depression

@MissingALink That's great .. btw, a pheonix is the logo of the Pontiac Trans Am .. Maybe find a old Trans Am somewhere, even a Firebird, and you'll have the Pheonix on the hood. If you like cars ..

@MissingALink

That is one beautiful tattoo, and the story behind it is inspirational. You're a fighter, not a quitter.....and that takes such incredible strength.

In fact, I've always wanted a tattoo, but it's been one of those things I've always put off. But to have such a work of art, and something so meaningful......maybe I should just go for it! Tell me, did it hurt?

@DeborahUK

I've always toyed with the idea of a tattoo, but two big things always stopped me.

1) Justifying the cost - I am always on a tight budget and a quality tattoo was something I always considered a frivolous expense I couldn't justify wasting money on.

2) commitment. A tattoo, for most folks, is a lifetime commitment. I have never had an idea that was meaningful enough to be something I didnt think I could regret getting 10 years down the road. I have had things I believed in strongly, things I loved, ideas I really jived with, but nothing I was willing to commit to so strongly that I wanted it with me forever.

THIS was that something. I cant afford a therapist, and this IS something I need to remember forever. So I justify the cost as a medical expense, and the meaning is self explanatory.

As for pain? Not nearly so bad as I feared, but I am glad I had a goofball of a friend for company. He did a good job of distracting me through the tougher parts. For the most part, it was irritating more than OMG OW! A cat scratch hurts worse. Also, this was a large one, it fills my inner forearm entirely. The areas close to my wrist and close to the inside of my elbow hurt the most comparatively, and the lines hurt WAY less than the coloration. Frankly, the lines were a cakewalk in comparison, and over with far more time and fuss than I expected. The coloration was tougher because it required her to go over the same spots repeatedly.

Healing is also far easier than I expected pain-wise. She instructed me to go a little off from the standard advice, advising me to keep it wrapped in plastic between washings for three days, washing it 2-3 times a day with plain antibacterial soap, then she wanted me to begin keeping it open and moisturising it frequently during the day with the recommended moisturiser until I am done healing. Tomorrow will be my first no-plastic day. With the plastic on, it aches, but is generally not painful at all. With the plastic off, it is more tender, but again, not nearly so bad as I expected.

Think about what you might want, google up some of your ideas, hell, make a pinterest board and pin every damn thing you can find that looks like what you want or shows the style you want. Bring everything together that you can to help you communicate your idea to your artist. Do your research, get a recommendation for a reputable artist or shop in your area, and Im talking first-hand accounts from people you know. Check them out, go through the portfolios, and even if you dont go with the recommended artist, pick the artist in that shop who shows the most work that reflects what you need for your idea to translate. I didnt go with the artist recommended to me because she didnt have any watercolor work in her portfolio and not enough detail work, but I DID go with a different artist in THAT shop because she had everything I wanted and if she works in the same shop, she is likely held to the same standards. Once you have a likely artist, talk it out with them. Tell them what you want your tat to say and why, let them work with you to get you what you need. Do NOT be afraid to say you want something done differently, it is something you have to live with and love, so speak up.

And for the love of all you hold holy, PROOF READ any type! I forgot to and one of my words is now singular that should have been plural. Thankfully, it is a point of English that can be argued for in the singular or the plural, so its not like I have a major misspelling to ‘regert but it still bugs me and there is no way to fix it now.

Bring a friend to help distract you, bring snacks and water, dont be afraid to play music, you never know, your artist might dig it! Above all, be prepared to have more fun than you expect to, I know I did. I was sure I would be a freaking mess, between the pain of the tat and the pain of my inspiration, I was sure it was going to be a total circus. But I actually enjoyed myself, was easily able to grit my teeth through the few tough parts, and got it done while making a new friend. My artist is now on my facebook lol.

@MissingALink

Thanks for your detailed response :)

Good point about proof reading - there are lots of sites on the internet about tattoo disasters, and although funny, people do have to then live with the result don't they? I think that's maybe one of the reasons I dither!

But also, I was struck by what you said about commitment. And that you're using this as a more cost effective alternative to therapy - a lifelong reminder of your fight, and your desire to go on fighting. I just hope the fight gets easier for you. You've certainly inspired me with your words. Thanks for that :)