Constant state of exhaustion
Hey everyone, I'm new here. I wanna preface this by saying I've "graduated" from therapy in 2023 and was in therapy for give or take 7 years before that. In December after tapering off my medication for months I was also officially taken off my antidepressants. In a lot of aspects I'm better than I used to be, but I still feel like I'm nowhere near a functional person and never will be. My room is a nightmare and I can never gather enough energy to clean up more than just a few pieces of garbage at a time. I can't work and live off financial aid, which I'm grateful for but doesn't fund a lot so I can't pay someone to help me clean. The last few days have been awful, my best friend and partner ended up in the hospital on the same day, while my best friend is recovering well my partner's health is getting worse in an alarming way. I can't do anything about it and I feel like I can't do anything to improve the situation I live in. I'm honestly just disappointed in myself that after all these years of therapy I still feel this useless. I'm so damn ashamed because I truly don't want to live this way, I'm just so damn tired. Being autistic doesn't help because so many tasks overwhelm me so bad I can't even hold my head up.
I'm sorry you are in that situation. The worst part of life it's when you are fighting against your worst enemy: you. The one who tells you all the bad things you are, that make you feel lonely. First of all, you are in a difficult situation, so don't blame yourself for feeling useless, all the hospital situation are horrible and most of the time, you can't do anything to help, and it's okey, it's not your fault, you are a human. Secondly, you don't need to clean your room in one day. Clean a Little bit everyday, and it will be better. I recommend you to stay away from social media and from technology in general ( computer, phone, that kind of thing). It might seem scary, but you need to challenge yourself. Things ll be better soon 🫂 I believe in you :)
@Theother172 Hey, I really appreciate your comment ♡ Thank you so much for the kind words! Unfortunately I can't step away from social media without isolating myself from all loved ones. I live in a different country from my mother and sibling, my partner lives far away and I don't want to miss any updates on his health status and my best friend primarily contacts me through texts because she lives an hour and a half away. I fear it would do more harm than good. I also use apps to track what I eat because I am recovering from binge eating disorder.
Mmm I get it, my brother also lives in another country so I understand this being a problem. Well you can't step away form social media, But you can limit what you use it for. Use it for the essentials and not much more. I'm happy that you are caring about your health, I have had a lot of friends with eating disorder and they always describes it as horrible. I'm happy you are getting better
@humangreed. In the end it only matters how you love and care take yourself. Try finch app or buddy. Apply for disability . Apply section 8. Find peer support groups.Â
Just believe. Not only in your yourself but in God.
#Constant prayer about this would help.
I must say, I really can't relate entirely to your situation right now but I get it. I know how you must feel.
But no matter how much you linger on the past your present becomes hazy. You're doing the best the current you can handle.
Just commit to prayer and put your head high again, there's honestly no turning back. So focus on the moment, your present rather than wallowing on the past and blaming yourself for what's gonna happen in the future.
Trust me. With God, everything works out.
Believe in him for no human can fill in the gaps and the answer you're looking for. Just have faith.
So hold on to that 1% chance of hope. Be patient because God answers at the least time you expected.
Note; Positivity is not an ideal, it's a beautiful.
