Insecure about my appearance

@MakingANicknameIsHard

I do not know anyone who has not had similar thoughts.... and many people try to change things all the time think of the Billions of dollars  spent on hair/ and personal care items....even plastic surgery. This is by people who are unhappy with even small details most do not notice. 

I had those thoughts too... and when i am down on myself see flaws like they are a neon light flashing ... but the real thing is inside..... i know that sounds lame but just think about it for a moment.

I felt unattractive or odd looking .......I hate ..every photo ever of me.   Then I met someone who made me feel amazing and i began to see myself differently ... "So what".... you might think...

BUT when i went out among friends and acquaintances and neighbors ..... people saw a difference  ......

i had not changed hair or smile or anything but how i viewed myself  ....

i had so many compliments and was asked out by others  that i had been around before that showed NO interest....  

i also looked through those same photos i have hid away and see some, not all ........that i DO like. You do project how you feel. and if you feel ugly and you hide your smile or keep your head down people treat you like something is not right....

@toughTiger6481

I'm happy for you that you met someone who made you feel more self confident!💕

Unfortunately for me though, I just don't have someone in my life that cares that much about me to bother helping 😞

I don't know what to do, I have little to no support system in my life and I'm just stuck. 🥲

I just can't learn to love myself 😭😭

@MakingANicknameIsHard

Learning to love yourself is easier with a admirer i will admit but..... once you start doing items for yourself and just start shutting out my negative self talk ... doing things like exercise or self care makes a big difference... instead of looking at was wrong look for what was right. 

my friend is online and not here to boost me  up ... easy to disregard words form someone who has only seen me in a facetime sort of thing.   

@MakingANicknameIsHard

Hi there! you are so brave to open up about your insecurity! not everyone are able to do that yk?😊 as a listener which is i am also a human being i can relate 🥲 i look at the mirror sometimes i feel like so unattractive🥲 about the hair hmm i can relate too😭 my hair can be frizzy because i have curly hair hmmm just need to take care of ‘em often.

    Hey i feel like my face too round sometimes too🥲in the past there are people that talking about it a lot hmmm. Yk what in the past i skip meals and what i found out is when i am fat they said “ eat less” but when i am skinny they said “eat more” thats really lol insane.

   I dont wear invisalign but i understand what you mean tho hmmm🥹🥹🥹🥹 i dont like my teeth too i used too. 

    There are people that will think that we are attractive but the only people that really important to think that we are attractive is ourselves first🥰 I know it is hard because i used to think i am unattractive too 

     But right now i realized each of us are astonishing!! gorgeous on our own way no matter how our features are it is unique!! no one have the features like youuuuu most importantly you are you!! you have a beautiful soul too!!!!! well we all will afraid people will think we are ugly but we are not ugly at all. If people think that we are ugly well we cannot control what they think or say plus what they say or think doesn’t define us at all. You define yourself🤍

    Yes we can’t change what we look like but “beauty is begins the moment you decide to be yourself” You are beautiful like your own way! nobody is the same like you. you are skinny, fat, kind, or whatever they will always talk about you, you cannot control that but you can control your reaction.🥰 

     You can message me anytime to talk about this more btw I am here for you!!!🤍 thank you for sharing🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

@HealerRecel02

Thank you for reassuring me ❤️

About the 'eat more' part, I relate all too well 😅 My mom always said i was too skinny, and forced me to eat until she is happy 

I mean, i get where she's coming from

But later, she would say that my face is getting rounder and fatter (even though I am still technically underweight for my age 🙃)

Also, thanks for reassuring me that we are all gorgeous in our own way ❤️ 

But there is just this nagging voice at the back of my head saying that my inside is terrible too, or that I am boring and lack personality 🥲

I am just scared that people might think I am rude or stupid or whattnot, and that it might be true. I can't stand having people dislike me, it makes me feel like a terrible person.

I'm constantly trying to improve myself so I maybe won't have a bad personality in the future, the problem is though that I can't tell if it is me being overly critical of myself or that it is actually a flaw I need to work on 🥲

So yeah, I feel ugly, when people say that it's the inside that matters, I think that my inside is ugly too 🥲🥲🥲 I'm just all around unpleasant 🥲🥲

I don't want to end on a sad note, so I want to mention that I've trying to feel happier recently, it's only half working, but at least I'm trying right? 😃😃

@MakingANicknameIsHard

Most welcome🥰🩷

Hmm it must be so annoying right? hmm🥲 

Your mom must be insecure too i mean yeah the people that judged me they also told me that they are insecure. That’s why nothing is really personal when someone talk down to you because that’s their reflection of themselves yk project their insecurity. Feel sad for them.

Thats hurt ur mom said that to you🥲 but no worries you are amazing like yourself😌🩷 if people can’t see it well not your problem!! you are a queennn!!!!💅🏼😌

Well i am telling you the truth😊 we all are gorgeous on our own way!!😍

That’s okay the voices in ur head doesnt define you at all. It took a lot to have that voices in ur head. I know you saw what you have been through it is not easy at all. I used to think sometimes too like lack of personality and being insecure to be introvert yk but right now no longer😊even i can hear the voices too but it is not fact about you. The voices stay in ur mind because of people that kept judged you nonestop. Your heart hurt then ur mind keep replay everything they talk about, it is not ur fault at all. 

Believe or not people will think that i mean they don’t know you so they will just guessing without getting know you first. Probably you did something like mistakes or anything but they dont have the right to judge you because everyone make mistakes including themselves. But they will still judge no matter what you do or how you look anyway we cannot control that😅 i understand what you mean in the past i dont feel good enough if one people hate me. But even you are the kindest people in the universe if they choose to hate you then they will🥲not everyone will like you thats the bitter truth but thats okay😊 

Because of the voices in ur head right? hmmm kinda crazy isnt it having those voices but the voices just lying to you about yk you are unattractive and etc. The voices thats what people told you that is not a fact. You will keep discovering about yourself i am pretty sure you will love yourself moreeee when you know her so much she deserve literally everything🩷

What makes you think ur inside ugly? 😊

See??? so proud of youuuuu for trying!!!!! 😍😍🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷you will get there one day!!! self love🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 congratulations!!!!!!!!!🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷😭😭😭😭😭😭😭so happy for youuuuu🤍💜🩵💓💙💚🩷❤️💛💚🧡🩶💜🩵🩵🤍🤎

@HealerRecel02

Thank you for being so supportive 💖 💓 💗 💕 

I've seriously rarely had anyone talk like this to me before 🥹🥹

But the thing that makes me feel ugly inside is that other people sometimes make me feel unwanted ☹️

For example, they would forget about me. Forget to tell me things, or sometimes blatantly tell me they don't want to tell me their secrets

(I mean, it is completely okay to not want to tell me their secrets, but what hurts is that I am supposedly their best friend and I am usually the last to know. I never broke their trust before, and yet the 'friend' who is untrustworthy gets to know before me. Am I just worse than her?)

Plus, to others I am just a background character or filler friend. They don't notice my presence, they don't notice my absence. They don't even notice my blatant cries for help.

(Like, I posted on *** the line 'if I disappeared, would anyone care?'. Nobody even bothered to go out of their way to check in on me. Not even the friends that claim to love me).

I never hear people say 'where were you? I was looking for you' or 'i missed you'.

It's like I don't matter at all to these people.

They don't bother to go out of their way for me. To check in on me, to talk to me, or even to listen to what I say. Literally, I am used to being talked over or practically shoved out of the conversation.

I wonder sometimes if I 'stopped breathing', would anyone really care? 

This all just fuels my low self esteem.

I wonder sometimes if people intentionally ignore me.

Is my personality just that dull and grey?

I never even understand their interests, they always talk about a celebrity I never heard of, a show I never watched, or a song I never listened to.

I don't share many of their interests. I don't do the same things they do, such as wear makeup or 'stylish' clothes.

(A girl literally made fun of me once for having a 'small chest'. I thought it looked average 😟)

So I am just naturally left out. I feel boring, and people don't engage with me because I am not interesting enough. 

Like I said earlier, I just don't like doing what why do.

I don't want to sound like a 'not like other girls' person, but I feel it is true. In a bad way. I prefer more modest clothes, no makeup (partially because I don't know how to do makeup lol), and classical over pop.

I hate this, it is ruining my social life. I just can't make myself like what they do.

((I'm really sorry if I sound like a 'pick me' or 'not like other girls'))

I also don't go out to social gatherings or birthday parties. My mom never let me go to birthday parties or have one growing up, now I am just scared to attend one. I don't know what it's like and I'm not used to them. 

I don't like the loud music, the crowd, the partying that I hear about.

Plus, I wouldn't want to attend one anyways. People will still ignore me.

Even at my own party I had many many many years ago, my mom actually let me have a birthday party with friends when we were around 6 or 7.

I was ignored. At my own birthday party.

Literally, not one kid gave a *** about me. I tried to get people to play a game with me, ignored. I try to join in on a game? Ignored again. I try to just join the conversation? Ignored like I was literally nothing.

Now I just don't know how to handle lots of attention, and I don't want another party in fear of being ignored at my own party again.

People didn't care about me then, why would they care about me when I attended someone else's party? 

But this complete lack of attention or care, it hurts me deeply. I hate being ignored, so sometimes I just be alone. I don't give them the chance to ignore me.

Why can't they just talk to me? I don't know how to keep up a conversation, so whenever someone else does it is like godsend to me. But why would anyone care about me enough to do so?

If i stopped breathing, I don't think anyone would care.

I'd better stop before this gets too long. Thanks for caring enough about me to read my sob stories. ❤️‍🩹

@MakingANicknameIsHard

No problem😊🩷

I am here for you🩷

I can relate too🥲 like people ignoring you right? like you are an option. Leftover🥲 I used to feel that too since i was a kid even my own family treated me like that and my ex besties which is my cousins. It is undeniable it’s kinda hurt me deeply so i understand what you mean and feel. My ex bestie also like that they just treated me like nothing and idk but like you said you are not like the one that betrayed them, i am the same. 

I never post like that but yeah i know they wont even care about me even i open up. In uni i still met friends like that they dont even care. 

Eh you dont have to live for them, they dont get you.😊 In the past i am also think “if i am gone probably no one care” well they care or not it is doesnt matter because you live for you. But I understand everyone need someone to support i am the same😊 you are not alone in that😊

You have been through a lot thats why you have low self esteem, you dont want to meet a lot of people because in the past all of people ignored you they don’t value you. It’s hurt you traumatized you and you afraid new people will do the same. Not everyone like that you know? they are a lot of people that care about you listeners here too including me🩷🥰

Hey it is absolutely okay to be yourself😆🩷 who cares about their celebrity bla bla make up bla bla. If you dont like it well thats okay. Not everyone will like it anyway the makeup or celebrity or anything we all have our own different interest. It is okay to not fit in. It is okay to be your amazing self!🩷

Lol girls that make fun of you i am sure they are insecure but they project their own insecurity on you. 

You are not pick me or anything people call it. It is okay to asking for support🩷 what you have been through isnt easy especially no one really there for you🥹 dont apologize okay? it is okay to talk about this🥰

Thank you for open up about that🥹🥹 thats why i said you dont want to get through that again because you afraid they will ignore you and you are wondering like why they did this to you. You dont want that it is hurt you so deeply. It is making you question urself right? so you just want to not go out. They will care if they wanted to if they dont wanted then they dont. I wish i can can know what they think too but i am just a human being too so thats okay.😊🩷🩷🩷🩷

I care about you no worries🩷🩷🩷you are welcome!!!!! it takes courage to talk about this yk? so smile you deserve to be happy!! 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷

@HealerRecel02

You say that I've been through a lot, and I've been hurt a lot. For some reason I think that that isn't true because others have it worse, so how hard could what I've been though be? 

Recently I've been kinda jealous of my friends when they meet new people, I feel that new people is just more competition for me to get my friend's attention.

I'm just tired of having to fight for attention, having to earn my right to be recognised.

Sometimes when I do have someone's attention though, it is always hard for me to keep it because I am just too 'boring' for them. They lose interest quick.

I'm just not interesting enough to earn their love.

Other people always just find someone new and moves on from me, they all find someone more interesting, someone more relatable. Everyone leaves eventually.

This is usually because we have different interests and I'm just not relatable enough with them. 

I feel outcasted, and I just want to fit in. I'm just different, but I want to be like everybody else. I can't stand not fitting in, and not having anyone that likes the same things as me.

I think that everyone thinks I'm boring, so they just don't listen to me when I talk about things I like. Eventually I just stopped talking as much because nobody ever listens.

Then when I ask people why they don't like to talk with me, they all say that I am a quiet person.

What is going on!?!?

((Thanks you for actually listening 🫶🫶))