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I don’t want to live like this any more but I don’t want to die.

Sparkify1990 February 9th, 2023

I feel there is so much going on outside of my locus of control, and those feelings of powerlessness and hopelessness makes me feel miserable everyday.


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fruityPond7887 February 13th, 2023

@Sparkify1990 Hi Sparkify! I am sorry to hear that you are feeling this way. Is there anyone that you can reach out to for some extra help and support? You don't have to go through this alone. You can also chat with one of our Listeners at any time by joining the general request queue or by browsing for one here. If you are having thoughts of harming yourself, you can call 988 or you can text the Crisis Text Line at 741-741. Please know that you are not alone and everything will be okay! We are here for you!💖

2 replies
Sparkify1990 OP February 16th, 2023

Hey @fruityPond7887 Thank you for sharing your resources with me, I really do appreciate it. I decided that change starts with me, so I am going to try new things in life and hopefully break out of this circle.

1 reply
fruityPond7887 February 16th, 2023

@Sparkify1990 That's great to hear! I am really glad you are going to step outside of your comfort zone. I am wishing you the best!😊

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gbrenna February 14th, 2023

@Sparkify1990 I feel exactly the same way. It doesn't matter if the day goes okay, I still don't want to live.

2 replies
fruityPond7887 February 15th, 2023

@gbrenna Hi gbrenna! I hope you are doing okay. I am really sorry to hear that you are feeling this way. I want you to know that the above resources are available to anyone who is experiencing any suicidal thoughts. If you are international, here is a list of international suicide hotlines: https://blog.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines/ I want you to know that our Listeners are always available to chat anytime as well with any topic as long as you aren't in crisis. ❤️ Please take care of yourself.

Sparkify1990 OP February 16th, 2023

@gbrenna- I wake up in the morning not wanting to go to work or to even get out of bed, but today, I woke up, saying that I am grateful to have a job. Huge mood change...

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imperfectpixie February 15th, 2023

@Sparkify1990 hey, I know this feeling all too well and if there is anything I can suggest it is to list things in your head at the end of the day that you have achieved and not what you haven't accomplished

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Sparkify1990 OP February 16th, 2023

@imperfectpixie - I started journaling again a few days ago, putting my thoughts on paper helps. I used to do this as a kid for fun. I start of by stating 3 things that I am grateful for today.

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PFord79 February 16th, 2023

I have shared them same feelings, I was in a dark indescribable pit for a long time, I got so tired of being miserable and hating life and myself, something had to change I just didn't know where to start I just knew I couldn't go on in that direction I was headed any longer. So I began trying something new and hopes that it might just possibly help the situation I was in so I started looking at some of the things in my life or of myself that I did indeed have complete control over I know I don't have control over people or situations as much as I do want to have it. So I looked at the little things I did have control over and before I realized the major thing that I have control over is myself I don't have it down perfectly and it's a lot of work. Having gained control or trying to gain control over my actions my thoughts. Always asking myself am I reacting or am I responding to whatever may be going on. If I respond erratically I promise the scenario will become absolutely chaos and then I have now made a situation 100 times worse I don't know if any of this makes sense or I hope it helps you in some way I just know that you're not alone but there is a light at the end of the tunnel we didn't get this way overnight and just know it's not going to happen overnight but there are things that can make it better on us

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Sparkify1990 OP February 16th, 2023

@PFord79 - You described exactly how I feel. Yesterday I had a conversation with myself, and I realised that I need to make changes to how I live. I need to try and help myself get out of this miserable pit. I am starting to do what I like and what makes me happy. I am putting myself before others. I just need this sick, errie feeling that I have in my stomach to go away. Its a lot of work and challenging to change ones mindset, once it has become comfortable, but I have to try.

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PFord79 February 16th, 2023

Enjoy rediscovering yourself the likes the dislikes if you have always wanted to take class but put it off for whatever reason what a good time to do it. Wishing you all the best and remember there are cheerleaders in your corner

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