Identity Crisis
I'm a pratical person.
Simply put, I'm trying to cope with being someone...who neglects everyone he knows socially. I'm not the most outspoken person (I can socialize pretty well), but I tend to avoid connecting with others. Most of my interactions are just based on small-talk.
On caring about others, noticing the small details...I generally suck (For the record, I've never had a proper girlfriend). It's no problem connecting with the fellas, but when it comes to women...the small details (her hair done, new earrings, her favorite things, small mannerisms, stuff she values, etc...)
...I've never really given a crap. I'm not proud of what I'm about to say...but I've mostly viewed women with a strictly sexual interest. I never made an effort to remember the small details that women appreciate...I've spent time learning how to avoid all that, and just flirt aimlessly. I'm tired of not being able to connect with women.
I'm trying to figure out how to...be able to connect with women. Even if, now, it's to make female friends...I strongly desire to be a guy women can feel safe, protected, and comfortable around, while being attractive and masculine at the same time.
Any thoughts?
Hi there :)
Being friends with a woman is not that hard but to become a woman's ideal guy will take lots of effort. I see that you already know your mistakes and that is great :) If you are aiming for a proper relationship of course all the little thing you noticed about her need to be said as the little things would matter the most for woman.
Although some woman didn't say it, but knowing that a guy notice her to smallest details can make her day and her feeling appreciated. About how woman feel about a man will only be reached after quite a long time, as long as you keep displaying your best virtue, a woman would be attracted to you and feel safe, protected, or can feel your masculinity
But that's just what I thought :)
Congratulations, you are a normal dude
Great. I'm already enthused.
Literally, as time passes, I'm beginning to realize how...unattractive my lifestyle is to women. Yeah, I take care of my body, but when it comes to interests:
-I'm into underground house/techno music. NO GIRL CARES.
-I'm into video games, chess, reading books, and educating myself. GIRLS RUN AWAY.
-I dont have much money, and I'm in the process of trying to work through a minimum wage job. I DONT EVEN COME ON THEIR RADAR.
I'm not a badass. I'm no social star. I dont have a success background at the moment. I HATE IT ALL. It pisses me off to the point of unshakeable frustration. There's no way out. I'm convinced I will never have a girlfriend.
It irritates me, because 2 of my friends are married to beautiful women, 3 are in serious relationships, and I'm here eating crap and tolerating it. What has to happen? Do I have to be a douchebag to get female attention?
(This isn't fun anymore)
Hi powersoul,
i would like to help you with your struggle of meeting woman.
To be honest, you seem like an interesting person since you got some hobbys and stuff to talk about. You listen to music, read books, educate yourself etc. that is good! There are woman who share the same interests.
Could it be that the problem is the way you view yourself? A negative attitude towards life is a turn-off. You should and must get a positive, relaxing and fun personality. Don't be too serious when you are around people, just joke around, dance and laugh! Be interesting and interested! Show that you care! You already realized that but i wonder what the actual matter is why you don't care about a deep connection to people.
This is what i can say from the current standpoint. Tell me more about you, so i can give you more advice.
How is your overall life path? Do you just sit around chilling all day long or do you actually pursue high goals? How do people perceive you? What do they admire and what do they dislike?
There is a youtube channel called real social dynamics which is about pick up, check it out! It changed peoples life!
I hope this helps you!