How do I know if I'm alive?
Am I really alive? My medicine make me feel like I'm in a dream. I don't like that part. But I need that medicine so I won't kill myself. Am I alive?
I experience that feeling a lot and it's horrible to feel so I completely understand why this is upsetting you. I'm assuming that you're talking about derealization/depersonalization, which is when you feel like you're in a dream or like you're detached from your own body. It's usually caused by high anxiety levels or trauma, but it can also be caused from medications that you're taking. Sometimes depersonalization/derealization is long-lasting and can last for years or even life, but in your case it seems to be temporary because you've mentioned that it's started since you've been taking your medication.
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From psychcentral.com:
Episodes ofderealization are characterized by a feeling of unreality or detachment from, or unfamiliarity with, the world, be it individuals, inanimate objects, or all surroundings. The individual may feel as if he or she were in a fog, dream, or bubble, or as if there were a veil or a glass wall between the individual and world around. Surroundings may be experienced as artificial, colorless, or lifeless. Derealization is commonly accompanied by subjective visual distortions, such as blurriness, heightened acuity, widened or narrowed visual field, two-dimensionality or flatness, exaggerated three-dimensionality, or altered distance or size of objects, termedmacropsiaormicropsia. "
In the case ofdepersonalization, the individual may feel detached from his or her entire being (e.g., ?I am no one,? ?I have no self?). He or she may also feel subjectively detached from aspects of the self, including feelings (e.g., hypoemotionality: ?I know I have feelings but I don?t feel them?), thoughts (e.g., ?My thoughts don?t feel like my own,? ?head filled with cotton?), whole body or body parts, or sensations (e.g., touch, proprioception, hunger, thirst, libido). There may also be a diminished sense of agency (e.g., feeling robotic, like an automaton; lacking control of one?s speech or movements).
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Have you considered talking to your doctor about this and asking them to switch medications if this is causing you a lot of trouble? This may be a side effect of the medication that you're taking.
And yes, you are alive.
Maybe those feelings were false and I know I'm real and alive. Even though I've had these feelings before, maybe I just need to drink some water and get some sleep before my yoga class.
No. The feelings are back. :(
I'm so sorry that the feelings are coming back! Would you like me to refer you to some websites that list coping mechanisms on how to deal with feeling numb or like you're in a dream? I know that the websites help me a lot, so just let me know if you need some links to some websites. :)
Life is worthless. I'll never be able to finish anything.
Why do you feel like you'll never be able to finish anything?
@ Brittany 96
I'll never be able to finish anything! My teacher called me out on reminding her about what to do after the exam was canceled (reading more), and now the class is going to kill me! Never mind not ever being able to finish my papers.
I see no way of ever finishing this semester with my sanity intact. I think it's already gone. I need to finish my work, so I'll reply in about two or three hours because I'm so horribly slow that I am useless! :(
And this, ladies and gentlemen, is what anxiety makes of us... *SOBS*
@ Jennygg
Is this good or bad?
I think it's really sad that anxiety transforms us in what you describe. I have anxiety too, when I read this I imagine what I may look like to others. In any case the comment goes to support you, those are symptoms that will fade away, and I really hope you feel better in the next days.
@ Jennygg
I know what you mean. All I could do today doing my discussion for the group project is worry about the final product. I already completely finished my part, but not everyone was done with even their research or they forgot their flashdrives. Two people were missing, and we didn't even go to the library. My head felt heavy during the discussion and I couldn't focus.Thepapers I have to do want to make me kill myself.