Exploring Toxic Masculinity and its impact on Men's mental health
In recent times, there has been growing awareness surrounding the concept of toxic masculinity and its impact on men's mental health. The traditional societal norms and expectations placed on men to embody characteristics such as dominance, aggression, emotional suppression, and avoiding vulnerability have been under scrutiny. This toxic masculinity not only affects men themselves but also has ripple effects on society as a whole. It is crucial to distinguish between toxic masculinity and healthy masculinity to foster a more supportive and inclusive environment for all individuals.
What is Toxic Masculinity?
Toxic masculinity is a notion that men ought to behave in certain ways that this society has predetermined, highlighting traits such as dominance, aggression, emotional suppression, and invulnerability. The notion of maintaining a well defined masculinity foists on men the stereotypes and a pressure to conform which in one way or the other may be detrimental to both the individuals and the society. Toxic masculinity does not allow men to freely express their vulnerable sides, seek psychological help, and form emotionally fulfilling relationships, which are the factors that are connected to higher rates of depression, anxiety, and disturbed relationships. Apart from this, it also forms a violence-prone culture, dangerous behavior, and the gender inequality.
What is healthy Masculinity?
Healthy masculinity is a concept that implies a positive and inclusive comprehension of masculinity which is based on the wide variety of behaviors, emotions and identities. It allows men to be true to themselves, expressing not only their masculine side but also their vulnerabilities and emotions freely, without the pressure of strict stereotypes. Healthy masculinity cultivates the qualities of empathy, compassion, respect and emotional intelligence and thus people can develop strong and significant relationships with others. It values mental and psychological health, urging men to search for help and support whenever needed, and creating a safe space to discuss mental health issues freely. A healthy masculinity also encourages gender equality, as it aims to change the power and dominance idea and bring respect and equality for all the genders. At the end of the day healthy masculinity is about being aware of yourself, being unique, and creating positive, respectful, and meaningful relationships with yourself and others.
- Supression Of Emotions:
Toxic masculinity pulls men into the trap of emotional isolation by swallowing their vulnerability, resulting in internalized stress, mental health issues such as depression, Anxiety etc.
- Pressure of Conform:
Men often feel the need to demonstrate superiority and insensitivity which leaves them conflicted with fighting against their mental health issues and unable to seek help.
- Impacts on Relationships-:
The toxic masculinity associates with the emotional expression and empathy which inevitably leads to miscommunication and emotional disconnection.
- Reinforcement of Gender Norms:
Restrained notions of masculinity “man up”, discourage authentic self-expression, and sustain inequality.
- Risk Taking Behaviour
Seeking invulnerability among peers often leads young people to dangerous behaviors that threaten their physical and psychological health.
- Impact On Fatherhood;
Outdated stereotypes undermine active and cultivating parenting patterns.
- Perpetuating Violence:
Trivializing aggressive traits becomes part of breeding a culture of violence and abuse.
Some Benefits of Healthy Masculinity-:
1. Emotional expression: Healthy masculinity means that men acknowledge and communicate their emotions openly and genuinely.
2. Individuality and self-awareness: It values diversity and men can learn to be themselves without having to fit into a particular Societal Construct. Therefore, men can have different identities.
3. Mental health awareness: Healthy masculinity means in where a man is encouraged to come forward for seeking help for mental health issues, is emotionally strong and can ask for help when required.
4. Empathetic relationships: It encourages the creation of the bonds that are based on empathy, communication, and mutual understanding, consequently resulting into happier and fulfilling relationships.
5. Gender equality: Healthy masculinity moves toward gender equality because it overthrows traditional gender norms letting in inclusivity and diversity.
Myth Vs Facts-
Myth: Men should demonstrate strength of character and stay strong.
Fact: Feelings, seeking help, are a mark of strong, not a weak, nature. Men ought to feel emboldened to embrace emotional openness and take help whenever necessary.
Myth: The reasons for aggression and domination among men are rooted in the male gender traits.
Fact: The definitions of masculinity vary and attributes such as empathy, compassion, and co-operation are of equal significance. Salute to healthy masculinity includes a variety of behaviors and feelings.
Myth: A man should be a self-reliant figure in his family and never suggest that he needs any help.
Fact: Seeking help is one of the simplest and yet the most courageous act in order to be able to start the process of mental health improvement. It is essential to draw support from companions, members of the family, or fellow mental health professionals towards personal development.
Myth: Heterosexual males who value personal care are not real men.
Fact: Self-care is important for good mental health and is in no way related to being associated with any particular gender . Participating in activities whose benefits to a person's well-being are self-evident, for instance, exercising, meditation or counseling, can be seen as a part of this process.
Conclusion-:
the concept of the toxic masculinity entails a social construct that promotes unhealthy stereotypes and hinders the emotional development of men. By dispelling myths and advocating for a more complex view of masculinity, we can lead a culture that embraces gender diversity, inclusivity and emotional intelligence. Everyone should be able to focus on the health of their mind irrespective of their gender , speak out when needed, and challenge harmful male stereotypes to live a more rewarding and satisfying life.
Feel Free to Answer the Questions below!
1. How has toxic masculinity impacted your mental health and relationships?
2. What steps have you taken to challenge harmful norms and embrace healthy masculinity?
3. In what ways do you practice self-care and prioritize your mental well-being in your daily life?
Sources-:
Link 1 ( Clickable)
Link 2 (Clickable)
Link 3 (Clickable)
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Thank you so much for this :)
"Myth: The reasons for aggression and domination among men are rooted in the male gender traits."
...not exactly.
Sure, outdated male stereotypes are not helpful. One could argue on reasonable grounds that they're somewhat anachronistic in modern societies, at least during peacetime. But the OP takes that too far by half.
The problem with discourse such as the above is that it's based on a pretense: the idea that evolution never influences humans...in other words, a tabula rasa. Anyone with a basic education in biology knows that's a total crock. Masculinity is not just an arbitrary result of social norms & customs; basic hereditary tendencies that long predate humanity itself also play a role, sometimes a decisive one. In trying to bust a myth, the post itself perpetuates a myth.
For example, in all the past empires & civilizations I've looked into (been into mil & religious history for over 15 years), it is an extremely rare exception to see women involved in combat. The idea that women should be involved in armed forces period, let alone anywhere in a battlespace, is a very late development & more due to advancing technology than to any activism for gender equality. (The notion is still not uncontested, btw) There are reasons for that; basic anatomical differences & greater tendencies toward aggression in young men are but two of them.
The same basic tendencies in the genders are why the majority of personnel in nursing are female, why most people in construction work are male, etc. That's not to say workplace discrimination doesn't happen, because it does. But such discrimination is not the only reason for gender imbalances in certain fields. People are not equal components that are the same in all ways, that can be fitted into any role in society with perfect ease. But posts like the one above are often based on such an assumption.
I wish we could talk about unhealthy/harmful characteristics that some women possess. That's not to say that we shouldn't talk about toxic masculinity, as that is very real too. But whenever I ask why people seem so hesitant to admit that women can be just as selfish and cruel as men, I get cited as a misogynist.
@achiafo0079 Welcome to the 21st century West, where certain double standards are considered proof of virtue.
@achiafo0079 we do we dont generalize or judge anyone here it is a post for mens mental health and how society as a whole effects them.
@MindfulJourney22 I eagerly await the article on toxic femininity, then.
@achiafo0079
You could always post that content yourself in your own thread. Having one does not take away from the other. Let me know if you need assistance making your own thread.
@HopieRemi Hey, I appreciate the fact that you appear open to hearing an opinion from a different perspective. As the victim of domestic abuse perpetrated by a woman, it is uplifting to hear that my experiences would not be invalidated.
However, that leads me to the fact that I myself would not feel comfortable writing about toxic femininity personally, as I would be concerned about my own personal biases getting in the way of objectivity. Also, I am unsure if doing so would cause me to get banned from this community. I have been banned in a couple of different online communities for sharing my experiences, in spite of sticking to (what I believe to be) all of the proper community guidelines. It's just not something I feel safe sharing in a group context anymore.
Nevertheless, thank you for your response and point of view.
@achiafo0079
I can understand. It sounds like we understand both genders can be toxic and unhealthy. I can also understand not feeling comfortable posting such content yourself. We are here to hear you and feel free to vent to me. I can't offer advice or fix anything but I am willing to listen judgement-free.
@MindfulJourney22
Much needed read. Thank you 💛
Mindful Journey, thank you for tackling this very important topic. I expect there will be many responses to your well thought out and documented essay.
I will respond from the perspective of a female.
The topic of toxic masculinity has been especially important to me in how we raised our personal children. It has also been important to me as an educator. Some of the ingrained behaviors I experienced on the part of male relatives led to estrangement. However, I would like to focus more on some behaviors we could encourage as parents or through the education system to fight toxic masculinity.
One stark behavior I feel is lacking is to “call out” toxic masculinity while it is happening, when it has the best chance of being consciously changed. For example, someone makes a joke that is degrading, but that helps that person feel more like “one of the guys” in my presence, and they are called out on it right away. That can lead to uncomfortable silence, or ribbing, or joshing around, but it’s necessary that this sort of behavior not be “gone along with,” even when I might be outnumbered.
Another behavior I feel is sorely lacking in education, familial and societal systems in not just my country but in many countries, is education in emotional awareness and use of emotional vocabulary. As a teacher, I used to have specific units on emotional awareness for my students, since I was often working with populations that might have trouble with “reading” social cues, for example, populations on the autism spectrum or other neuro-diversities. Learning words for emotional states, explicitly and with practice, with additional work on the subtlety in interpretation of facial expressions or behaviors, such as body posture, verbal submission or dominance, use of eye contact, stance, aggressive movements towards or away, an education in that power dynamic from a young age makes a difference in developing a more nuanced approach to our common humanness.
As a woman, I found many behaviors that are toxic are supported by societies which are patriarchal. Because there is an invisible yet powerful structure in place that asserts the dominance of males in society, not so invisible in some countries, women, to survive, are required to develop a sort of submissive coping behaviors of avoidance, muteness, humbleness, subservience, and invisibility. Some men do not realize how enriching being a full human being with a full range of possible emotional expression, including sharing feelings of vulnerability frailty, sadness, or other emotional states seen as “weak” or “exclusively female” by societies in which they are forced to function, can be.
Women have an important part to play in men being able to shed toxic masculinity, since we can encourage or discourage these expressions in the men around us, we can call out toxic behaviors when they happen, and we as women can provide safe havens for the humanity of males in our spheres.
Since a comment has been made by someone here in response to this most excellent essay by Mindful Journey about women’s inherent qualities where that person seems to refer to women as less strong, let me remind that person that it would be as simple for them as googling the term “women warriors” to find a plethora of examples of women in powerful positions throughout time and cultures, not to mention the obvious fact that biologically women actually produce men from a simple combination of sperm and ovum. I won’t plagiarize by repeating verbatim the many examples that exist, rather say, if one looks hard enough, one can find many examples, and that generalizing is not the point of this essay. I commend you, Mindful Journey, for tacking this difficult and timely topic.
- Just about anything can be "proven" by a Google search, which is why Googling is not real research. There are websites espousing flat earth notions, creationism/Intelligent Design, Loose Change-type narratives about the 9-11 attacks being an "inside job" (or by Israelis), construction of the Pyramids of Giza by aliens, & the prediction of every major scientific discovery by verses in the Qur'an, among other delusions. Anyone can put up a website or self-publish, so you can find whatever you like whether it's legit or not. My stance is the result of delving into the achievements & tactical doctrines of the Roman army (republican & imperial periods), medieval hosts (mostly English & French), the various belligerents of the Thirty Years War...basically most of the heavyweight parties between the Neo-Assyrian empire to WW1. More recently I've started focusing more on the Middle East & pre-modern China. I assure you that while female warriors are not entirely unheard of, they were exceedingly rare.
- So you apparently subscribe to the tabula rasa notion of gender that is trendy in this decade. Carried to its logical conclusion, there may as well not be masculinity or femininity at all. Did I understand your response correctly? If I didn't, please clarify.
Overplayed and underrepresented. Inted of making it about men whu cant we just say some people have toxic personality traits. Making any issues about men or womem further devides people. This concept is toxic.
@selfconfidentNorth8876
To me, it's all or nothing. We should be able to talk about the toxic behaviors of men, so long as we are also allowed to talk about the toxic behaviors of women. Or, as you suggest, the toxic behaviors of people in general. What we currently have in many online spaces (not necessarily this one) is a situation where some toxicity is on the table, while other toxicity is off limits.
@achiafo0079 Let me clarify again this post is not against men but for men and mens mental health, i as a man knows how the toxic masculinity effects men and their mental health, i mentor young boys in real life whpo always tell me how they couldnt took therapy or go to complain about their Abuse to [police because of toxic masculinity, its a bigger issue than we think the post norwhere says only one gender is bad or good, and i dont know about toxic feminity as i m a male but feel free to messageme about it if it makes u happy i will make a post on it but it should be related to mental health only like this post.
Thank you
@MindfulJourney22 I am curious as to how toxic femininity could be anything BUT a topic of women's mental health. Also, I want to clarify that I don't believe you are making value judgments based on gender. I know your message isn't "men are bad." I will say that I disagree as a domestic abuse survivor that toxic masculinity has anything to do with me being unable to receive therapy and validation... I have been as vocal about my problems as I can be. I have experienced some women who simply refuse to listen or acknowledge my pain. I think we need to be very careful how we define "toxic masculinity." My point is that we need to recognize the social stigma and toxic behaviors that women perpetrate as well.
@selfconfidentNorth8876
Hey, North. I'd like to understand how a topic like this divides us as to me It sounds like this thread was focusing on men's mental health and how it is hard for men to be attune with their emotions, which to me, is an important topic and as a woman, I don't feel like it downplays my own battles.
@HopieRemi I don't necessarily think this article "divides" us in any sort of way. But I think we need to be very careful when we start making certain associations and assumptions. This holds true in any topic, not just toxic masculinity. Associations and assumptions can lead to very inaccurate data, bad inferences, and unhealthy stereotypes.
Also, one of the terms mentioned in the OP is "emotional intelligence", which I consider a contradiction in terms.
@slowdecline48
I certainly believe there is a healthy and an unhealthy way to experience and express emotions. However, trying to arbitrate and regulate human emotions becomes a very slippery slope. I personally subscribe mostly to Aristotle's approach. We should experience emotions in moderation, as best as we can. Take anger or fear for example. In modernity. these emotions almost always carry negative connotations. However, some anger and some fear is intrinsically good. Fear and anger (among other things) have helped us get where we are today. Fear helps us survive. Anger motivates us. So to try to reduce these things as inherently "toxic" is not only harmful, but logically fallacious.
@achiafo0079 An interesting perspective, & one I haven't thought about much. Anger & fear are useful when one's survival is at stake, yes. I've always considered intelligence to be most itself--& at its best--when manifested as logical cognition, a la Rene Descartes. Emotions can be good motivating forces...the problem is when people use them as tools to think with. That's when they react instead of respond, decide impulsively, etc.
