Tw: mean people

@Aileen1114117

Hey Aileen, you're so right, it's disheartening to see people engaging in bullying, of any kind, and to have the audacity of victim blaming is beyond me also, makes sense why you'd feel frustrated about their apparent 'reason' for sending you those messages, a big "thanks but no thanks" to people like this oof, who think bullying someone or sending inappropriate/ rude messages is the way to "teach" them about something.

I'm truly sorry for this experience you had, cyber bullying is so common, it is really sad :/ the impact it creates on one's emotional and mental health is terrible as well, something I really hope no one goes through.

I wish some people knew better and were more kind towards others. It is uncanny but being kind too comes secondary, first I feel, some people can practice a bit more humanity and be more humane towards other humans, that should suffice as well. It's sad when people normalize "hurt people hurt people" phrase, personally I have a very different take on this, while I acknowledge and am okay with people sometimes taking a space to *be*, it is not cool to treat others the way you've been treated, resulting in your hurt, strange how some would think it lessens their hurt, I respectfully disagree.

There is always a choice to be extra kind and if you cannot do something to help or heal someone, much better to stay aside and do nothing at all. That would actually be better oof. ❤

Either way, you so did not deserve this, nobody does.

You were/ are not being a sensitive child to call upon their wrong-actions, or about feeling hurt and frustrated about the same.

I'm super glad you're voicing it and seeking support here, I get experiences like these are nowhere near easy or comfortable to talk about even.

*offering comfy hugs*

There are some great posts on support and information about bullying, and cyber bullying (some of these are 7 cups focused but otherwise I believe they are still helpful resources), sharing here:

https://www.7cups.com/forum/SafetyKnowledgeat7Cups_181/BullyingSupportInformation_1370/

Hoping this helps. ❤ Again, I'm very proud of you for sharing here.

@Aileen1114117 because that's internet and in 7cups is not different with members and listeners, you will find people that are committed to help, but you will also find people that are committed to harm others just for fun and mostly because they are big losers themselves and can't deal with their personal failures internally, so they lash that out on the others. Internet is a reflex of the world we live in.. and that's the world we live in and that's how people think, a lot of people are weak, shallow and with a limited to no existent clue of what "empathy" and "respect" is, and the ones with that mindset are mostly the ones that are cyberbullying, since it's a convenient way where they won't suffer consequences, at least not immediately because they are protected by a screen name, so they also have a coward spirit.

My advice is to take what I said in consideration and understand that you can't take what losers say seriously, they have issues themselves, even tho I totally understand feeling angry and upset.

@Aileen1114117

In these types of forums ; sadly this is going to happen and .... BAM, initially it really hurts. I'm sorry it upset you, but I am really glad you posted about it. ❤️. You can either accept thier comments or reject them. Years ago I heard the following statement and I will share it with you.
"Take the Best, Leave the Rest!" There's so much good to get, don't ever let the bad stop the good.

“Reject your sense of injury and the injury itself disappears.” Marcus Aurelius - (Anger / Forgiveness)

First of all, I am sorry you had to go through this. We know that there are mean people out there, and that they more often than not don't have a valid reason for their behaviour, but that is a small comfort when we are on the recieving end of that behaviour. As much as we can reason out why they did it and know that they are the one at fault, our feelings aren't magically soothed by those thoughts. I just wish to let you know that I know the frustration and hurt that you feel, and that you are not alone in that.

As for the why, who knows. Sometimes they are people who need help but don't know how to ask for it or that they need to ask for it. Sometimes they are miserable and just want to forcefully get some company. Sometimes they are just fools, too immature or miseducated. And while they are capable to momentarily make us feel a range of emotions, from hurt and disappointment, to rage, disgust and even hopelessness, soon as we grow up and out of our experiences the only thing they leave behind is pity with a bit of distaste. I can imagine the need for justice you are feeling, the wish to sooth yourself after that jarring experience. When you think that this is the only lasting thing they are capable of leaving, where others will leave in us happiness and love, and inspiration, don't you think that this will be the biggest punishment they will receive, in a world where we strive to connect and build they will be nothing, but a stumble, a slanted stone in the bridges we build.

As for those who truly need help, try to give it to them, but only when they are ready to ask. And if they choose to ask someone else, later in time, let them be. Showing that kindness will sooth not only those who truly need it but most importantly it will sooth yourself. Because even if the world feels like a rocking ship, we are our own anchors.

@Aileen1114117 Unfortunately the hurtful messages people send on the internet are normalized. A practice that may help soften your pain is to sit quietly in a place where you can find some privacy and quiet, and wish yourself good things, such as safety, happiness, good health, and a stress free day. After doing that for a few minutes, think of someone you care a lot about and repeat those wishes for them. After that, think of someone you don’t know well (maybe someone you see frequently walking on your street, but don’t know them personally) and also wish for them, these same good things. And then, if you can, without feeling yourself get too upset, wish your cyberbullies these same good wishes. Finally, end with wishing every creature and person on the planet these same things. If you try this a few times it may allow you to focus less energy on the conflict these cyberbullies have created. They are at fault for the original injury, but we can internalize that and ruminate on it and then the bully wins again and again, even if they are no longer present. You have much nicer things to do and engage your focus on.

Ok now listen up don't ask them don't keep trying to get that answer you won't get what you're looking for it will just drive you crazy ignore it don't waste you're time on it are you wasting time now