I don't know what to do
I don't know anymore, when I try to explain how I feel, all I can think about is I don't know, but I know... I know I can't do this anymore and my head is too big of a mess and the voices inside my head isn't helping. I can't speak anymore when I'm meeting my psychologist and it's not because of her, she is amazing, but I can't gets words out, I feel like someone is keeping my mouth shut. I'm meeting ger Today again and I don't know what to do, I'm scared she thinks I just don't want to talk and she will leave. I don't know, i can't do this anymore, I'm so tired, so damn tired. And I have no one anymore, my family has left, except my mother who gets really mad if I say anything of me feeling down (I'm glad I'm not living with my mother and step father anymore). My best friend left me, and if I've talked to someone online, they all will leave me or get mad at me or blame me about everything and I'm so lost and alone and I can't do this. I don't want to die but I don't want to live either.
If you can't express your self with your voice to your therapist have you tryed writing your thoughts down and showing her?
@MilkMan Thank you for this, Today when I met her I wrote her a little note and now she knows and we are trying to figure things out
@Nonsane glad to hear it! Maybe after a few sessions you can express your feelings with your voice but a great start! The greatest journeys start with one step.
@Nonsane Hello there! It seems that you are really doing your best to express yourself and seek help but is really finding it difficult without support from family and friends and so you're finding yourself helpless. But sometimes, progress is really slow. Don't be too harsh with yourself and put heavy expectations on yourself for fast recovery or punish yourself even. Take as much time as you need. Explore ways that you believe are suitable for you. I am sure that your psychologist will be willing to guide you step by step. Be proud of yourself for taking action. It won't be easy and it's not a linear path but you can do it! Believe in yourself! 
@hopefulRainbows30 Thank you, I try to do my best to just try and hold on. I have learned that recovery is slow and there is a lot of ups and downs...
@Nonsane Sure! You can do this! I believe in you! 
