How do I move forward from here?

@Jynngr

hey jynngr I relate to a lot of what youre saying. The thing about goals that I have to keep in mind is: THEY ARE NOT ABOUT PROVING YOUR WORTH AND ABILITY TO FUNCTION /AT ALL/ always try to remember the little mantra it isnt about proving yourself its about improving yourself.

Also please dont ever feel like your problems are less valid because other people have it worse. Problems tend to be fit to screen. They are real to you they are casusing you negative emotions they are hurting you. THEY ARE IMPORTANT AND VALID IF A FRIEND IS TELLING YOU OTHERWISE EXPLAIN TO THEM WHY THAT IS HURTFUL OR DROP THEM.

Im almost done here. Ok so I suffered a lot with telling guys that I was not interested and feeling a cocktail of guilt betrayal and sadness. Opening ourselves up is one of the really difficult things we as people have to do and when it goes badly and gets combined with someone wanting something from us that we could never give them its a hard time all around. But its not your fault that you dont like him(obviously) and you couldnt have predicted how the sharing could have gone.

Ovetall to move forward I would say hit yourself with some positive thinking, self love, self care, long walks and showers and also maybe talking to your mom. The stress question could be her way of telling you she notices you are going through a hard time and wants to talk and help you through. My reconnection for anyone always is sunshine and sunny people

@starryBlossom31

recommendation not recconection sorry

@Jynngr

Wow! This was me last year. I felt like a burden on people and find it hard to open up, feeling guilty for harming people or not having "good enough" reasons to be miserable. I was self harming and also suicidal with treatment resistant depression.

You are worth something. You are not a burden. Any problem is a valid problem. There is no gain from tearing yourself down with these extra guilts for not feeling grateful or happy, motivated or good because you are blessed with so many things. The amount of blessings you have or do not have does not equate to you having your specific needs met. Yes the basics (food, shelter, clothes etc) are there for you but humans are complex creatures once the basics are met they have additonal requirements like socialization, achievements and sense of purpose that they want to gain. It is normal to want other things to feel well. You don't need to feel guilty for how you feel. The reason why we have emotions is to tell us that there is something off with our lives so.we can make a change.

Take small steps, make small goals, and see how small wins can be motivating to keep going.

For example, right now decluttering my room was daunting and unpleasant but nessary. Been putting it off for months. Then a few days ago, I decided. I am only going to pick up once piece of paper and decide where it goes. Only one piece. Just one. Leave it at that. So I picked up one piece and threw it in the recycle bin. Thought it was riduculus and I will just do a few more. Then I noticed a pile gone and decided to do the next pile. I ended up cleaning up 1/3 of the mess. Another day I did another 1/3 and now have the last bit to do. But I feel so great about it. The room has a different feel.

Something small can grow into something big. Start with small wins.