Extreme anger and hypersensitivity
I do not know why, but I have begun seeking comment sections, posts or anything that triggers me. I do it on purpose, like a masochist. I like proving myself people aren’t “that bad” but I secretely know what to expect from those triggering comments and I get a rush of adrenaline when fighting them. Agterwards, what I read in their comments (bigotry or tasteless jokes) haunts me and makes me anxious and drained. To the point I can’t stop thinking of it. My therapist said I am trying to solve a submissive past through aggression and I should seek to be assertive. How? How to live life without triggers, anger or how could I simply brush off external factors? Do you have the answer or are you too guilty of the above? Let me know.
Hi, I understand that the whole situation must be very hard for you.
Such posts, comment sections and other stuff can be addictive too! I have been there once.
I can't give you an advice but I can share the few things I personally tried.
The best solution that worked for me was a social media detox. When you step away from something, you learn to manage those triggers because then you somehow end up thinking over them and put your energy somewhere else. It might be hard at first but with some effort I think it can be done.
It's not easy to brush off external factors but it's important to know that your internal peace is way more important than those people. There's a life outside of them. The one in which you're the main character.
I don't know to which extend it's affecting you and how but I can tell you that sometimes we get caged in our own mind and it's very important to know where to find the key.🤍
There are many listeners that you can talk to and also build a support system by joining in the member community room.
I hope you find a way out. Good luck!
I'm here too if you want to talk about it🌸
@Yougotmyback it affects me a lot, to the point I take negative comments about other people, personally, like it says something about me. And then I carry that energy in real life, where I look for similar triggers in totally random and mundane situations. I talked to my therapist. She said (like someone else in the thread) that I should become assertive. And that I’m dealing with some deep anger issues, trying to recreate an unsafe environment from my past. I also have GAD. Unattended pharmacologically. Just CBT so far.
@Catalin02
The rush you speak of is being sought out by many ......you are not alone.
Avoiding comments is often a smart move and if you do read try to distance yourself by not letting even the negative seem personal.
Some people enjoy drama and outrage although i never understood it. i get the adrenaline rush but it goes no where and leaves people empty needing more outrage to reach that level again like a drug.
Those who make triggering comments do it on purpose in hopes to aggravate others. I do not understand that either because they seldom see the results of their online poking of others.
@toughTiger6481 thanks for the response! I understand them on a logical basic, it makes sense that people use social media as a slate to write their thoughts, unlike real life.
@Catalin02
It sounds like it's a vicious cycle: you seek out the content because you're looking for a fight, but then the content triggers you and makes you feel bad. The way to break this cycle is to learn how to be assertive. Assertiveness is the ability to stand up for yourself in a way that is respectful of others. It's about being able to express your needs and opinions without being aggressive or passive.
@cindyzheng1344 amazing, that’s what my therapist said a few days ago. She said it is because I was raised as a submissive person. I remember having to get the guts and fight just to feel heard, valid and in control of my choices. Now my situation is very different. I still carry the feeling that I need to fight against something, that there has to be someone to try and control me, so I can fight them back and prove myself I won against them and normalize my childhood where all this was real and very painful. Hence, every day I am tempted to seek people or situations, even imaginary, where I’m judged or threatened mildly. Where I intentionally overshare or try to show off some of my qualities/ flaws to get a reaction so Ican react to that reaction. My self esteem is *** and recently it got worse, in the past months. As if all my efforts to overcome my social anxiety have backfired. Someone here said I have a “sticky mind” and hold on to feelings and situations. Someone else said it’s OCD. Im seeking medical help because my energy levels have begun to be affected.
@Catalin02 It could be that you’ve been “trained” by social media to react this way. It’s totally the model of *** to keep people engaged based on triggers. The rush is addicting. You can’t totally avoid triggers or anger, but you can limit the triggers by trying to not seek them out. Decide not to follow the train of thoughts when you notice anger beginning to form. Try to remember where engaging in these activities lead you. There are a million things worth more of your time than posting something to the internet. It “feels” like we are doing something on the internet when we engage like this, but question who benefits and who gets hurt when you post. The result is someone makes money off of other peoples anger - they don’t care at all about the consequences - but real people get hurt by this, sometimes in serious ways. I hope this helps.