Does anyone else get told they should've picked an easier field?
For background, I'm a maxillofacial surgery resident. Almost everyone I meet, old or young tells me "Oh but its such a tough field" "it's so much harder for women" . I've had older people (people who are good people and people I respect) explain to me that I'll regret this in the long run, even people from my profession! I've been told this so many times that I've lost count. "What about work life balance?" "You'll end up neglecting your future family (i.e husband and kids)". Their arguments are its underpaid for a long while, you have no personal life and that I'll waste my life away.
I love my job, its brings me so much joy! I'm good at it, like really good at it. I'm well respected in the medical community. I don't regret the decision a single day, but I'm exhuasted of hearing the same advice from so many "well meaning" people.
@starlightinajar
I am sorry that you have been having to deal with judgemental people putting you down and questioning your personal career choices.
While it may be common to make such comments, it is unhelpful and unsupportive and it would be appropriate for you to set boundaries with people who make these types of comments and tell them that it is not acceptable for them to speak to you that way.
Many people may intimidated by your rising to the challenge of your career of choice and the success and happiness you are finding in it and making these comments as a way to soothe their own jealousy by trying to cut you down and make themselves feel superior somehow.
I am an RN and I have been told everything from "Nurses end up missing out on time with their families so much, I couldn't ever do that to my kids." to "You are too smart to be a nurse. Why didn't you become a doctor instead." to "It is your fault you chose to be a nurse. You can't complain that it is tiring. You could have been smart enough to choose something easier."
At the end of the day, haters gonna hate. I don't care if you are a ditch digger or a quantum physicist. People should treat you with respect and should be happy for you that you are doing something that you love that is a positive contribution to society, period.
Exactly! All of this happens! Whenever I complain about work being tough people keep telling me I did this to myself, bla bla. Also i think RNs are one of the coolest people on the planet. Hospitals would collapse without them, and a good RN can elevate patient care to a level that no doctor can. Huge respect 💕 Keep being amazing!
I guess you're right, its just a case of "haters gonna hate". I just find it difficult when people I genuinely respect or care about do this is well. Senior professionals in my field have reiterated that this is not the line of work for women and there are better ways to earn money 🙄 Anyways, your advice about setting boundaries is good, I just need to think of some cool comebacks to shut them up 😂
Keep on enjoying your job. I'm sure you can work out the rest as and when life changes happen :)
@starlightinajar
"This job is too dangerous"
"You're turning into a heartless person from what you see"
"why do you do you do that to yourself?"
"Such a cute working in such a cruel field? Sweetheart, go enjoy life"
"You want to study medicine too? Don't you already think you wasted much of your life in the EMS?"
Yeah, I could relate. Even my mother who convinced me to study medicine now wants me to consider a totally different career.
@TheRandomEMT I'm so sorry you have to deal with that! And I know its worse when family tries to convince you to pick something different even when its something you love doing. You're amazing though and I believe in you! There's nothing more caring and heartfelt than giving your time, energy and often sacrificing your personal life to help someone else. Keep going!
I think it shows that some people just should mind their own business
If the job or career is what you want and LIKE it is none of their business there are many things that suck work/ life balance and are hard jobs ....
i never question why anyone does what they do they HAVE a reason .......may not be one i understand but it is working for them.
@starlightinajar
I can really feel your exhaustion that these comments from others have caused you over time. My sense is that these people are responding in this way because that is primarily what they have heard from other people working in similar fields. It would likely surprise them to hear that you love your job and that it brings you joy, possibly even breaking the cycle of them responding to people in the way they originally did. Sharing your joy amidst darkness can bring some light to places people couldn't see. Perhaps coming up with a "tagline" or simple response that expresses your unique situation and personal feelings towards what you do that shows you are not the people they are referring to might break their habit of saying that to not only you, but also to others.
It sounds like you are doing great work, and that you have the privilege of practicing something that brings you joy AND helps others. Thank you for sharing this!!
@starlightinajar I get told this to, at 33, by many of the older ladies I work with. It seems to me that they are secretly jealous or, more likely, unable to mind their own business. I've come to the conclusion that people see how they lived their lives as the "only way" to a happy life, even if it means misery for the other person. If you love your job, rock and live it!
I’ve had the same thing happen! Regarding my career, my relationship, etc. But they were all wrong!
because I am happy, I am fulfilled and so are those around me ❤️