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starlightinajar
23 177,507 M Achieving Goals 1
PathStep 4 Compassion hearts3,601 Forum posts15 Forum upvotes58 Current upvotes58 Age GroupAdult Last activeDecember, 2024 Member sinceApril 9, 2022
Bio

And when at last you find someone to whom you feel you can pour out your soul, you stop in shock at the words you utter— they are so rusty, so ugly, so meaningless and feeble from being kept in the small cramped dark inside you so long.

Sylvia Plath

Recent forum posts
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Rant - Listeners giving advice and toxic positivity
Site Updates / by starlightinajar
Last post
 February 12th, 2023
...See more So, first off. Thankyou to everyone who volunteers their time here, I know how difficult a job it is and absolute appreciation for all you amazing people helping other humans out. Sometimes a good listener can seriously get you out if a bad headspace or make your day a whole lot better! Now we come to the rant part. So with most people here, either they are genuine listeners or people bored and just messing around. You learn how to filter those out pretty quickly. However there is a subset of listeners who are actually interested in helping you, and mean well, but go about it the wrong way. Personally, that can often trigger me and make things worse for me and I'm sure it may be like that for some others as well. I understand now why the site policy says "Don't give advice" While I don't agree with the whole robotic scripted answers and appreciate the listener bringing in their own experiences and trying to relate and make it as real a conversation as possible, for someone dealing with a clinically diagnosed mental illness, I really don't want to be told how to fix it. Thats what my doctor/therapist is for. I don't want to be told "A lot if people have it worse and so you should be grateful" or "You just need a positive mindset", and there are several other tips, or my favourite, XYZ self help book suggestions, which are not at all targetted towards people dealing with mental illness (but thats a completely different rant) I realize that not everyone may agree with my opinion. I don't want them to. Just respect the site rules, please let me talk about how sad and tired I am without trying to tell me how to fix it, and don't make assumptions that i might just be unmotivated or not doing the right things, without knowing me or my life. Rant over, thankyou, bye!
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Does anyone else get told they should've picked an easier field?
General Support / by starlightinajar
Last post
 August 23rd, 2022
...See more For background, I'm a maxillofacial surgery resident. Almost everyone I meet, old or young tells me "Oh but its such a tough field" "it's so much harder for women" . I've had older people (people who are good people and people I respect) explain to me that I'll regret this in the long run, even people from my profession! I've been told this so many times that I've lost count. "What about work life balance?" "You'll end up neglecting your future family (i.e husband and kids)". Their arguments are its underpaid for a long while, you have no personal life and that I'll waste my life away. I love my job, its brings me so much joy! I'm good at it, like really good at it. I'm well respected in the medical community. I don't regret the decision a single day, but I'm exhuasted of hearing the same advice from so many "well meaning" people.
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