parenting help
i have an almost 2 and almost 4 year old (girl and boy) My older one doesn't listen and therefore causes my little one to copy everything he does and it gets super frustrating. I try everything and don't see improvement. My husband says I need to be more firm, but i dont know how much more firm to be- I already feel so mean and like im always getting upset or yelling and I am so over it. this is NOT the mom I wanted or saw myself being. I always wanted to be that cool mom who was chill and did calm parenting and never yelled or lost my temper, but here I am, the complete opposite, and always being told by my husband that I am a *** parent and to do what he says instead.......then when I do what he suggests and they don't listen hes all oh come here (to the kid) and gives in....like he says we need to get on the same page, but then he does the complete opposite and im just so confused and over it. Ive tried sticker reward systems, taking things away, redirecting, time out, consequences, natural consequences, ignoring, yelling, EVERYTHING. I feel so defeated and down on myself, and I don't even know where I'm going with this, I guess I just need somewhere to vent where no one knows me
@antihero9
No one ends up the parent they wanted to be kids test you they push their boundaries all the time.
Give yourself a break at that age range it is very hard to use some items because they simply do not have the attention span or memory for consequences etc. it does get easier and you will find what works for you and often that is NOT just trying to do it like others. your spouses relationship with kids is different and men sound firmer in speaking to kids.....
Trying to many things gives them the idea your are not firm on any one punishment etc. Parenting is a skill that we do not get real practice in until we are doing it....
Yeah. It is hard and I hope getting into a new routine now will help with some things and with age it’ll get better. I just hate having to be so mean to get my point across. I always wanted to be that parent who has kids who listen the first time and are chill instead of always being little monkeys and me chasing and yelling after them lol
Hi, I've been through the same situation with people. Everyone in my circles condones spanking children and I am not for that. I'm also a first time parent even though my son is now nine years old. He doesn't live with me though due to well one of the reasons why I'm here trying to seek therapy. And I don't have any other support system guys, help! Looking for parental support as in other parents that could identify with me.
@antihero9 Both are very very young. Even at 4. They will not listen as they are still very much learning. At this stage, only language of love and compassion will work. You cant expect them to behave in a manner and you cant push them to do as well. I would suggest to remember their age and intellect and then take the right parenting approach. I took the yelling and anger approach and it has done nothing good for my elder one. Be firm but gentle. Think out of the box methods for parenting. Thats about it.
