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i guess im just letting things out

fairmindedShade219 August 4th, 2023

i currently live with my parents, and theyre both physically and mentally abusive. Growing up with emotionally immature parents who dont really care about your emotional well being and always fought inappropriately in front of you. as well as taking out their anger on you when you did nothing wrong, that is something that i still have to deal with today. i have a lot of anxiety, and i cant seem to let my guard down to do things i truly want. Obviously i want to leave my parents and live my own life, but i dont have the money yet. I havent experienced strong friendships, relationships, havent even held a persons hand. my feelings and thoughts dont matter to anyone. Comparing my life to others lives constantly, knowing that their life could be hard as well behind the screens. But they always seem so easygoing compared to me. I literally dont have someone to support me when Im falling deep into my anxiety or into depression. Im so mad at the world right now because im alone and confused with my future as well, and the path that im taking. I dont know if I ll ever be able to find happiness and live for myself. Thats my biggest fear right now.

3
Yougotmyback August 5th, 2023

I'm sorry to hear that you're going through such difficult times.

*Sending hugs* 💛

I may not have a solution to your problems but I want to tell you that you're seen and heard. You deserve kindness. You matter. Your feelings matter too. Just because someone doesn't see them, doesn't mean they don't.

*Holds your hands* You're not alone.

It's understandable that it might be difficult for you to get out of the place. Have you ever tried to receive legal help? Or their might be some scholarships or financial aids that might help you to get out of there?

I believe in you. I hope you never give up on yourself and get through this situation. We all are here if you ever want to talk about it. 🌸


You deserve the kindness and everything beautiful. Don't ever lose hope. There's a world outside of this and I hope you find it someday.

valejah August 5th, 2023
@FairMindShade219 Hello there! I'm very sorry to hear what you are saying, I was also raised in an immature family, in fact that caused me to have to fulfill the role of a parent for many years, I never fulfilled the role of a daughter. I lived in a loop of psychological violence and neglect for 11 years, however everything changed when I met my current partner, since he helped me to understand my value as a person and little by little I learned to assert myself and to put limits to my family. Obviously after what my boyfriend taught me, I had to put all that into practice and work on my self-esteem day after day. With what I am telling you I don't want you to think that a partner is the solution to your problems, but rather to build support networks, I know it is not easy. This will sound crazy but I built my support network long before I met her, I remember that one day I felt so bad about my life, that living no longer sounded like a good option that I started to write down everything I wanted to live from now on, I wrote in detail how I wanted my life to be and the characteristics of the people I wanted to surround myself with, every day I read that and I really trusted with all my heart that this was so, during the day every time I could I thought about it, three years passed and everything was fulfilled to the letter, also a year ago I met a book called "break the habit of being you" by Joe Dispenza, which somehow confirmed and corroborated everything I did to have managed to live what I wanted, I highly recommend it. I hope it will change your life as well as mine.
purpleTree4652 August 5th, 2023

@fairmindedShade219

Dear Shade,

I grew up in a terrible situation, too. My parents abused me mentally, and didn't care what happened to me. They never offered help and I needed it greatly.

How soon can you see yourself moving out of their house?

If you live near a big city in the USA, they offer almost free mental health services. Look up community mental health. It might even be offered online. I don't know. I go to community mental health services where I live. The price varies based on your income. I've paid as little as $3 per visit. You need support.

Have you tried the sharing circles on 7cups? They helped me loads. You can talk about anything you want.

Lastly, I have a quote for you. "Life is full of suffering. It's also full of overcoming." --Helen Keller

May God bless you.

--tree