Wow! Let's Know What Does This Mean To Us?
Heyaaa You Hopeful People ❤️
I hope you all are doing well!
Empathy is the most beautiful emotion we as humans can appreciate in our lives. Empathy is different from sympathy. While the former is about feeling the other end by imagining ourselves to be in their place, being a strong internal emotion. The latter is much about pity and external care.
While being empathetic is an important responsibility of the humanity. Knowing the difference between being empathetic and people pleasing is also equally important.
There are times in life where we turn our kindness and empathy into a source of unwanted stress and exhaustion.
For example,
1. Holding yourself responsible for others "not feeling good"
2. Thinking that "you are the only one" to cure anybody's problems
3. Not appreciating the happiness in your life when you receive them just because you feel the other associated people are facing problems in their life
4. Unable to refuse or say a No!
While we all know how much distressful this scenario is! And setting up non-negotiables or strict boundaries in life is important. Yet it becomes difficult to do so when you don't know where and how to start!
Here are a few questions I would really wisb to know the answers to!
Q1. What does boundaries mean to you?
Q2. How do you define your boundaries? Where do you start from?
Q3. How do you start asserting them? (Advising a person who's a people pleaser with low self esteem and an unsupportive external environment)
Looking forward to your amazing answers! 💞
Tagging a few people I really appreciate and admire here! ❤️ ☺️
Regards,
Resilience
Taglist
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou
@brightaday
@amiablePeace77
@Tinywhisper11
@psychologyloverr
@khloemarie999
@resilience2025 thanks for tagging me ❤ 😁 gives you a giant tiny hug ❤❤
Unfortunately this is a huge problem for me. I like to be kind and encouraging even if it becomes to much for me to handle. Establishing boundries is soo hard for me, so yeah I can't help you here, sorry🙁 this is something I need to learn to. I hope other people's responses to your questions are something we can both learn from ❤
@Tinywhisper11
I appreciate your response Whisper 🥺🫂❤️
Hugs to you tooooooo!!
@resilience2025
Q1. What does boundaries mean to you?
Boundaries are individual no one size fits all they can be flexible up to a point for example
Q2. How do you define your boundaries? Where do you start from?
many different ways..... start with items that are causing the most friction and let others know you no longer will participate. the MOST important this is to share the WHY .... if they do not or act like they do not get it reword or give examples until you know they understand the why.
Q3. How do you start asserting them? (Advising a person who's a people pleaser with low self esteem and an unsupportive external environment)
if i was to advise a people pleaser with low esteem........ I explain how I have been there personally... explain it is slowly backing away...... not a sudden change.... unless that is warranted especially with less supportive environment.
I would also explain also there is no list of do this or say this with detailed directions as it varies case by case . so many try items suggested in a video or article and if it does not work they feel they tried it and it was hopeless.
changes should be worked in slowly and you and your peace of mind is the goal.
@toughTiger6481
I appreciate your response! 😊 Thank you!
I absolutely agree that boundaries vary from individual to individual. However, if I were asked the meaning of boundaries, I would say, It's always about "respecting me" more than for "getting it accepted by others".
Step one being, respecting our boundaries first and be firm about them irrespective of whether people appreciate it or not! And accordingly take action as per the situation.
I appreciate the last line, focussing on gradual changes and peace of mind as the goal!
@resilience2025
i just wrote from personal experience and while your step one is on point ... for an article practice is different IMO
my idea of flexibility is finding not being flexible and too firm has unattended consequences.
Imagine a job changing expectations and rules and not giving it time to be adapted to..... the people we have boundaries are people we deal with daily and will often try to fall into " we did this before " mode ... ........change from both the boundary Maker and those who need to heed boundaries takes time.
@resilience2025
Thank you for tagging me resilience!
Q1. What does boundaries mean to you?
Boundaries mean to me that I protect myself from being used and assuring people respect my decisions.
Q2. How do you define your boundaries? Where do you start from?
When I feel uncomfortable with something that's when I set a boundary and say "No". It is though hard for me to see people being sad (sometimes they play sad, I know). In the past I felt always sorry, so I dropped my boundaries to help them (talking about physical life) but meanwhile I learned that many people took great advantage of me, so I stick to my boundaries.
Q3. How do you start asserting them? (Advising a person who's a people pleaser with low self esteem and an unsupportive external environment)
I will tell people "No, sorry, I can't help" (adding maybe right now or maybe a later time) and avoid giving a reason. I believe I do not have to reason why I can't so something because people might try to discuss the reason with me.
@amiablePeace77 I agree respect my decision. I have boundaries and with what I’ve been through they are super important boundaries. I don’t like being pushed to do things the way others want it. Example: respect my work environment. I have had the worst coworkers do certain things on purpose. And yes I did report it. And guess what it never stopped. Although I did not like leaving a three year job. I had to say enough of this abuse and decided to leave. Kinda like I sacrificed myself for the new company. Pray those employees learn to respect people like me and not try to destroy anymore hard workers like me.
@amiablePeace77
Thank youuuu Ami❣️😊
I like the way you explain why you don't wish to give any justification for your boundaries!
However I am so proud of you for the way you have asserted your boundaries confidently!