Support and managing changes (reflection)
So, ever since I have joined 7 cups it has really helped me to talk about stuff, get things of my chest and reflect on them. As wel as, trying to understand situations and trying to be more mindful and take self care into account. 🌻
But one thing I am still very much struggling with, is making the actual small changes that impact and improve certain issues or situations. I know that you can't "fix" habits and changes over night. ⏳
But still, I always feel like talking about how to do it helps a lot, but lets say on the "smallest" level, like in a moment, a good or bad decision, I still find it so hard to make the right call. Behavior is changed slowly, but for example when it comes to food, I have learned so much more about being mindful about eating healthy and talking about my struggles with it and I am a bit happier for sure. But lets say a small craving comes around or a moment where you can either make the "good" or "bad" call, I still stuggle to hold on to something to help. I've started to call it almost micro-management, which sounds like a bad thing on itself, but what I mean is that exact moment to make a small change, the decision, the single event or whatever it may be. 🕐
I feel like for the bigger picture all the support and talking, also on here, helps so much, but when it comes to that lowest level of taking action/making a decision, that is where therapy/support stops and your own tricks and ways to hold on to something start. It's in those moments that I feel like I need the help the most still, a single instant or a moment and I don't really know how to deal with it properly. 🤔
How do you get yourself to find stuff to hold onto in order to "micro-manage" your positive changes and habits in the moment? I am so curious! 😇
@Michelh1996 Thank you for sharing your experience and insights. It sounds like reflecting on your journey with support from 7 Cups has brought you much understanding, but implementing changes moment to moment can still feel challenging. I ma glad you are here with us and sharing. It is admirable that you are working to be mindful of yourself through small, healthy decisions. How does it feel to be in those instances where you want to make a positive choice?
@ASilentObserver Mostly confusion and frustration, because I don't want to be in that position where I am battling those temptations and the fact that I feel confused and frustrated leans into making the bad decision, as kind of a compensation. Both to make it go away and also as kind of a coping mechanism. Like how you eat out of emotion for example. Also habit plays a part, me and my family are very habit-based and stuck in the same structures.
Where some of the frustration and struggle also comes from, is the feeling that in that specific moment I have no handles to hold on to. Like I stated, reflecting over the bigger picture brings understanding, but in a small instance or moment, I don't really know how to actually make the choice or hold on to something to not make the bad one. I am a very practical person, so the theory and knowing things isn't always enough, I often need to have the specific action in mind. And I feel like I am still missing that concreteness in terms of steps or handles.
After a bad decision I usually feel good for a moment, but bad immediately after. During the decision I feel pressured to make the most of it. Or sometimes lately I already feel frustration or disappointment beforehand, because I kinda know already I will make the bad decision because in the moment I won't have anything to hold on to anyway, so I will most likely make the bad call. As if you're going to do something, knowing the outcome will be the bad one because you can't stop yourself.
@Michelh1996 It sounds like you have grown to recognize the patterns that lead you to make these choices, and that awareness may even be helping you to anticipate that these choices may have negative consequences. But then you get caught up in this cycle where you feel like you can't stop yourself, and so you end up making the bad decision.
@ASilentObserver True, I think it's these moments where I need a voice or something to help me through them the most. But those are usually also the moments where you're on your own, with your own judgement or thoughts. And maybe afterwards you're with people that you can talk about it with, for example on here. But then you go out there, in the real-time situation, and you don't have that direct line of contact/reflection or something or tricks to hold on to in an instance