Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

Should we be less hard on ourselves for mistakes we made in the past?

UnsungTangerine October 14th

Rather than say, condemning ourselves over and over again for things we did three, four or even more years ago? Just a thought that came across me when I was thinking, and reflecting on my life for a moment.

12
BlueDarkAurora October 16th

@UnsungTangerine Absolutely<3

"To heal is to touch with love that which we previously touched with fear."

WhatNameidk October 16th

I don't think you should pass judgement on yourself whether good or bad

peachPineapple2046 October 16th

@UnsungTangerine Hello, Yes I agree. The past is the past do not worry about it sure you may feel regrets but that is what makes life interesting. So yes especially if it is as you say decades ago. Learn to look at life positively.

With Love peachPineapple2046.

LoveCabelloCane29 October 16th

I think everyone makes mistakes in their life and I think the most important thing is to look at the mistakes that we made and learn from them......and think how we can avoid the same mistake from happening again.

FirmWind October 16th

Personally, I choose how I want to feel about the past. Part of acceptance is having the option to proceed at one's own discretion. Were there bad moments? Sure. Do I want to be upset over them? No. Am I willing to forego my instinct to be upset and move on with a clean slate? Absolutely. I have digested it once, and there is no longer a need to keep the same cold dish warm. My emotional diet has limits on what I'll have, and I don't want to waste my precious energy on things that do not serve a motivational purpose. 

akunknown October 16th

@UnsungTangerine

No. We shouldn’t be less hard on ourselves for past mistakes? Because the truth imo is that we should not be hard on ourselves at all for past mistakes bc:

1. It’s in the past and already happened. Being less hard or more hard on ourselves for something that’s already happened won’t change or erase what is already done.

2. We’re all humans. And as humans, though we’re all different in so many ways, there’s one thing we all have/share in common with each other - none of us are perfect. And as a result of being imperfect we’re all bound to make mistakes sometimes and more than once. 

Mistakes can be a good thing depending on how you see it bc it can be a good life lesson for us to learn from and teach us what not to do ever again. 

ShouldofbeenBetter October 16th

@UnsungTangerine There are no mistakes in life,only lessons.If you dont learn from these lessons then you repeat them,if you learn from them then you move on to the next lesson/s.Its never a mistake that you are making when it comes to life,they are only lessons and they are there to try to help make you the best version of yourself that you can be.To look at these lessons as mistakes does yourself and your experiences a misjustice.You are on this Earth to learn, not to be judged by you or anyone else on whether your experiences were mistakes or the wrong choices.There are no mistakes or wrong choices,ultimately,you are exactly where your supposed to be.Everything is a learning experience and everything happens for a reason so trust in the journey and trust that you are on the right path and that whatever it is you are wanting,you will attract it when you are ready to attract it.There are no mistakes in this crazy life and you are a beautiful soul,you will get there when you are supposed to get there

1 reply
pinkKite8784 October 17th

@ShouldofbeenBetter

Thank you, i needed to hear that today

load more
WharfRat October 17th

Forgiving yourself is a major part of recovery.  A lot of the guilt we feel is for things that were beyond our control or done by others, anyway.

Riley76 October 17th

No we need to forgive ourselves, it is very important that we do. We are older and wiser now. We have learnt the lessons

Juul October 17th

I think it’s unfair to keep condemning ourselves for things we did years ago. Over time, we grow and change as people and learn from our past experiences. I feel like reflecting on actions/behaviours of the past it’s important so we can learn from it and better ourselves.


Let’s say you were a bad friend to someone like 4 years ago and hurt them. It’s good to reflect on this behaviour and realise that you hurt them, and think about how you’d like to act if this situation would occur again. But I think it would be unfair to keep condemning yourself for those actions as you can’t undo them. All you can try to do is learn from it and try to do better in the future.


I hope this made sense 😅