Self care for Naomi 💕
Hi Naomi! Its Axtyn as you can see :b
I thought i would leave this forum just to check in on you and leave you notes every once in a while to make sure you're staying okay and taking care of yourself during this really hard time
I made this to show you how much you are loved, cared for, and how much more you truly deserve.
This rough patch will pass, honey. It may take time and it may seem so so hard, but it will pass, and i hope this forum just brings a little smile to your face every now and then! Hugssss 💕 @Nomifordays
@Axtyn
Axy wow this is so sweet this really did make me smile. thank you so much. I'm like wow amazed at how sweet you and many others are. Ily axy<3 and u take care too bc you deserve the world! again thank you thank you thank you<3
@nomifordays
Ill try my best to get to this daily!
Some affirmations
"I am in the right place, at the right time, doing the right thing"
"Im worth so much more then the people around me make me feel"
"I am good enough"
"I am strong enough"
"My perspective is important, and it counts"
"I am confident"
"I will get through this"
You're amazing, Naomi. How's today been treating you? Are you okay?
@Axtyn
thank you. today's been like every other day but one good thing that happened is that I can play and sing again sort of thanks for asking<3 hbu?
@Nomifordays
Aww, small steps, Naomi. You're getting there 💕
Im okay! Thank you!
@Axtyn
thank you for believing in me axy. ily
@Nomifordays
How have you been keeping up sis? Sorry i haven't been able to check in, in a few! Just wanted to remind you that you really are cared for and loved, and that you're amazing and worth SO SO much!
@Axtyn
not the best tbh. its like someone is making my heart bleed badly and then pouring alcohol over it to make it burn more yk? idk it deosnt make sense but yeah 😁
hru tho?
@Nomifordays
Oh no, im sorry youre hurting Naomi. I suppose there will be some good days and some bad days, but at the end i can imagine it hurts real bad. Surprisingly enough that was a good description. What caused it tho? 💕
@Axtyn
me and my foster mom went to the store today and this older woman walked up to us and said i was pretty to my foster mom and asked if i was hers and my foster mom said yeah this is my daughter and idk it just made my heart drop and i look NOTHING like her either bc well she's white and im mixed. anyways yeah so i just kind of smiled but it was off and so when we got to the car i just like shutting down and i just started crying and i didnt mean to do it in front of her i just did and my foster mom got all worried and i just started talking about my mom and a the *** i went through when i was with m mom and stuff and i NEVER told her what really happened back then. and my foster mom just was like oh and tried to hug me but i moved away bc i was mad at her for calling me her daughter for some reason and so she got mad and we started arguing and i mean like full on yelling practically screaming at each other and so i just put my airpods in my ear and just stopped talking and so we got home and she told my foster dad and he was *** off and he was yellingat me at how im ungrateful of their service and how i should be lucky my foster mom looks at me as her own and i thought he was going to kick me out or hit me or something and then yeah i just locked myself in my room and like just cried till i fell asleep and i talked to a picture of my mom and ik that sounds psychotic but i like idk i guess its a new habit i picked up. ( also sorry this is so damn long)
@Nomifordays
aw nomi thats hard sis. im sorry ur foster mom had to see u like that, and im sorry that u guys argued and im sorry about ur foster dads reaction because that *** hard, and life can hit u like a brick sometimes. ik ur gonna get through this bc ur so strong and have made it through so much. ilysm nomi
(@axtyn this was such a nice idea for nomi <3)
@mysteriousClover
aw thanks em ilysm too! and yeah ik what you mean by that brick thing. i hope you're ok as well
@Nomifordays
Aww Naomi ): i cant imagine how you mustve felt after that. She shouldve been more considerate towards how you were feeling after the fact even if she probably didnt notice the harm at the beginning. Im so sorry she reacted that way hun ): you totally didnt deserve that at the slightest and the way they both reacted was inappropriate and disrespectful. I hope youre feeling okay after that , even though i can imagine it was very upsetting. Sends hugs 💕
@Axtyn
thanks axy 💜 really thanks for understanding. although i feel like i should've acted more maturely in the situation as im reflecting and trying to process what happened i agree that it was rude of them to just come at me like that. i love you tons
hru tho?
@Axtyn
That's a nice thing to do for Naomi! Thank you! <3
@Axtyn
By the way I don't know Naomi but I like your caring gesture! This really matters. <3
@seashell145
Aww thanks for stopping in! So glad youre here! I guess thats what friends are for :’)
@Axtyn
You're welcome! Hope you have a nice day too! <3
@Axtyn 😊 🙏🏼
@nomifordays
Its been a few days, and im not sure how you are- so i decided to check in
I know that even though time is supposed to heal- sometimes we get a mad rush of emotions and feelings that make it all feel like day one, especially when dealing with grief and i just wanted to let you know that you simply do not have to wait for me to check in to let me know how you're feeling, if you ever need a listening ear, Naomi. I promise i truly truly care for you hun. You are cared for, you are loved, and there are people out there who will make you feel as you deserve, even if they arent around yet. I love you lots sis ❣
How have you been?
@Axtyn
hi. and yeah most days it does feel like day one but thats ok i guess.
Its been rough and ik that thursday im probably going to be out of it bc thursday marks one month since shes been gone but thats ok too i guess. lots of ppl grieve and get over it and accept the fact after a few weeks but idk i cant do that but its ok.
[TW] ive been surviving i guess. i just *** up my whole "everything is fine. im great! act last night and today so yeah. my foster mom said im not allowed to dance anymore until i eat a full meal and dont complain and refuse to eat it so i guess im just going to have to practice dancing in secret but thats ok. And today the guidance counselor at my school wanted to talk to me in her office and she said " you're not really ok are you?" and idk why but it made me cry and like i told her that i am ok im just having a bad day so far and she doesnt believe me and i just idk what im going to do but ill figure it out soon. i have to. but its ok. im ok.
thanks for checking on me. it means a lot 💜
@Nomifordays
Aww, honey you aren't expected to get over losing your mother in a few days, its not that type of thing. You grieve as long as you want to, as long as you need to, there's nothing wrong with letting out your emotions. I understand, i get how hard it must be to eat, sleep, just stay on a normal schedule and you're allowed to not be okay. I'm so sorry you're going through this all Naomi, my heart truly breaks for you ):
*hugs hugs hugs* Im always here for you ❣
@Axtyn
thanks axy. this means alot. To know that you dont hate me and that you care just makes me feel less alone and less like i have to hides everything from everyone. keep everything in because keeping it in isnt helping. not one bit. And obviously yk that you can always come to me and talk to me about anything thats on your mind because friendship isnt one sided. both people have to be there for each other so im going to be there for you ❤️
again ty ty ty. ilysm
@Nomifordays
You are such an angel Naomi! Thank you soo muchh! I love you sm girl ❣
@Axtyn
aw. and ofc im just stating the truth i care. really. i really do care.
how was your day?
@Axtyn
hi axy. i just want to ask u a question and get ur honest opinion on it. if thats ok ofc..
Am i angry at the right people? should i be mad at riley or my fc dad or my real dad or sophie or anybody or should i be mad at myself? bc at the end of the day im the one who let myself get this low. the one who let myself get to the point where i cant even go a day without crying or feeling bad or freaking out. The one who let this get so bad to where i can barely *** eat or do simple normal human things. The one who put myself in the position to get hurt bc its two sided. you cant get hurt if you dont put yourself in the position to get hurt in the first place. Im the reason i cant dance anymore or focus or why i feel this way not them. I should be angry at myself not them. i should hate myself not them.. And ik this is a question thats completely idiotic but its just been on my mind lately. along with other things maybe thats why im having trouble in school work now bc im so overwhelmed and caught up in my own self made, petty drama that i cant focus. anyways thats all i guess. im sorry ik you probs dont wanna hear this but uh yeah
@Nomifordays
Oh noo, Naomi. That shouldn't even be a question ): With loss comes grief whether we like it or not. I remember and know the feeling of not being able to even think sometimes, to not be able to talk, eat, sleep, function. I know the feeling, Naomi, and sometimes even if we want to hate a person, even if we weren't close for whatever reason, we still love them. I know it hurts love, and i truly cant imagine what it must be like to be in your situation, just because your mothers life came to an end, doesn't mean yours will to. You have so much potential to achieve the greatest out of great things, you are so much more, Naomi. Even thought you have these thoughts of "will i ever be able to get past this"- no matter how cliché it sounds, time heals, okay? You just need to give yourself enough time to hear. You're going through so much honey, you cant expect your performance to be as per usual, there's really no one to blame about this stage, but im so sure your mom would want to see you in a better place. Take a deep breath hun, keep breathing because you *will* get through this, things will get easier. Now don't be too hard on yourself, yeah?
@Axtyn
thanks axy. im sorry that was so sudden and all but thank you for just reminding me that im not going crazy smh. ilysm. and take care of yourself too bc ik things havent been smooth sailing for you either. we got each other.