New guy here. Here's the short version - I'm a selfish, unambitious and lazy weirdo and it's destroying me
Long version - Hi there 😁 I'm Gavin. I'm 31 and I live in North Central Florida. I have little girl who just turned 9 and I've been divorced for about 8 years now. I've never been good with expressing my feelings or talking about this kind of stuff so I apologize ahead of time if it just sounds like I'm whining 🤣 I can't deny it anymore though, I have a problem. Dark thoughts keep entering my head and they're starting to linger longer and longer. I need help but I can't afford therapy or counseling so someone recommended this app. So here's my situation, I have struggled my entire life with self confidence, I've never had it really. I don't have any particular skills worth mentioning so I've never really tried for anything big as far as a career goes. I dropped out of college out of nothing but pure laziness and lack of care about how this would affect me. I just wanted to stay home and love a Peter Pan life. Then my daughter came along, a knocked up situation that turned into a short and tense marriage that didn't last very long. I've spent the last 8 years bouncing from *** jobs with no real career opportunities, trying to find a good woman even though I really have nothing to offer her, digging myself on l into such deep debt that I might literally lose everything any day now. The thing, I have no one to blame for any of this but myself. I know I need to try harder but every time I try something new, my old self creeps back into the picture and I find myself in the same rut eventually. I recently lost a great relationship because of this, she loved me but I had nothing to offer her. No real career, no real future or anything. I just don't know how to kick these dark thoughts that keep beating me up and holding me back. I don't know what I really want to do with my life. I'm lost and I'm starting to get really scared. Anyways, if you've made it this far I appreciate your time, hope your having a good day 😌
@GavinH4ll sits beside you and hugs you tightly ❤ never give up on hope, never give up on yourself or that little girl. The failure you see in yourself, is just the depression talking. This site is really great and I hope you find the support here to find your confidence and inner strength. Because you are not lazy, you are more than worthy of being loved. I wish I could save a magic wand and make everything better for you. You got this, I'm just gonna be here rooting you on, and offering hugs ❤❤
I really appreciate your kind words on both of my post ☺️ Your really sweet ❤️ I'm already feeling the good vibes. I'll keep you all posted on my journey ☺️ hopefully it has a happy ending, maybe not a fairy tale ending but one where I'm at least smiling 😁
@GavinH4ll you've got a great mindset ❤ I can't wait to hear about your journey ❤ your little girl is proud of you, always remember that ❤
Hi there! That’s really tough, I’m sorry. Just curious, what’s your daughter’s name? Anyway, I hope you get through this tough time and find happiness ❤️
@GavinH4ll hii, to be honest I can really relate to your mindset aswell. Sometimes I think I have nothing to offer others, I don't think I'm good at anything, and I also don't really know how to express/explain my emotions. But, I think you being aware and willing to get help is a great step and I know a lot of people are in the same situation as you. Don't let your negative feelings and guilt take over you and try to focus on what you can do and I hope you can find something you're skilled at :) and in my opinion you seem like you can explain your feelings really well, and it doesn't sound like whining at all.
@GavinH4ll you are really brave in acknowledging your hardships and I commend you for that. I see this message as a first step, as you're willing to to put your best foot forward. I hope you get the support you're looking for on here and all the very best!
Hi Gavin, welcome to 7 Cups. We’re so glad to have you here.
@GavinH4ll hey man
There are so many people out there who don't even know how they may be ruining their lives. But you do. That's a big step. You've made it this far, so don't give up. Don't let those dark thoughts ever overpower you. i like to believe that we are in control of our emotions. Its in your hands whether you want to give up because of the bad thoughts or keep going. remember, the only person who's been with you from beginning to end is yourself. You've got to do this for yourself man, you've got to do this for your lil girl. You know the problem, all you're left with is to find the solution. Give yourself some time to think about it, think about your options and how you're gonna execute them. You should know that you matter Gavin, and you can do a lot. Im personally rooting for you man, because I know you're gonna get out of this soon.
I'm praying for you.
There's always a summer after the winter , even if it takes time to come :))