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@SOFFY9

Hi, Have you had any time off at all? It sounds like you are challenged but trust your friend really cares about you, no pressure!~ Try some relaxation techniques and deep breaths and remember that self care is and should be our top priority. When we look out for ourselves and self advocate it gets easier. Congratulations on your job, You will learn it and be good at it after a time putting in the efforts. Your friend supports you. I think you just need a reset, like a week off doing something fun for you. And you may get a fresh new outlook afterwards :-)

Keep reaching out on this website, some of the Listeners are fantastic! Tag me any time.

Blessings, Day

@SOFFY9

Ultimately, the path you take should be your choice. If your brother is offering advice, it may be because he thinks it's best for you, but it still depends on how that works for you. You need to evaluate it separately from whether someone else recommended it. Best of luck

@soffy9

Hi! It sounds like you are having some challenging times. It sounds like you have a really good friend and mentor. People go through these type of situations and especially with this industry it sounds like it’s very competitive, but rewarding when things go right.

I will share something about myself that may help you. I have changed career paths at least 7 times. Not just jobs. I’m talking roles and everything. Starting from 0 each time. With each experience I have brought something beneficial with me to the next. In on case I worked food industry and went to construction, on another I went from sales to chemical operator.

The point or points are whatever box we see in is a box we have created for our self. There are things you learn in food industry like quality control that you can take to the construction industry. Then, There’s no shame in trying something new. Look at it this way, gou can be miserable doing something you hate and are marginally good at or you can find your true calling, be happy accelerate etc. finally if you stick with what your doing there’s no shame here either. Perhaps ask your friend what other opportunities are out there in the industry. Maybe it’s a small change that you can make that will take you leaps and bounds.

whatever you do hold your head high when you do it. Set some goals, and don’t worry about disappointing your friend, but do communicate and ask for help and find a mentor if needed. Your calling, role and purpose may not have been found yet.

@SOFFY9 Hey there, I'm also a front-end developer and also I've been on the path of learning AI but still got back to front-end. I guess the feeling of being left behind is pretty common, as I've always felt that and talked about it with my friends and they've said the same. 
Also seeing all these people being passionate about programming is definitely pressuring when you're not so hyped about it.
Our friends and family always think they want good for us but I don't think they realise how much pressure they put on us. Before you make some major decisions, maybe you could try to think about what stresses you out most in this situation and start from there. 
Start with small things, maybe share with your brother just part of your emotions could help, or if you don't like what you do, maybe think of the way how you can make it a bit more fun. Sometimes we might not like what we do but if we do it with someone else it might become more amusing, or maybe you could go somewhere you like and work from there, the surroundings matter and perks of being a developer is that a lot of times you could work from anywhere you want.
Try to see what you could change for the start, take small steps because making drastic changes could be even more stressfull sometimes.
 

@SOFFY9

Hey there. I understand the desire to make family happy or proud, but think of it this way: would they be happy knowing you're doing something you're not happy with? Do you think they would want you doing something just for their benefit rather than theirs? If your family cares about you, they will want you to do what makes you happy. 

This life is to short to not be doing what we love. I went into Business & Accounting, thinking I would make a decent salary and be able to support my family. Well, I honestly don't like business and accounting whatsoever. I wanted to be a writer. I did this with the intent of making others happy, and not giving much thought to how I would feel, career-wise. It was a mistake. I know my family appreciates that I support them, but I'm sure they'd rather see me be happy doing something I love. 

If you're afraid to disappoint them, just think how disappointed they might feel if they knew you did this because they talked you into it or because you were afraid to speak your mind about how you feel. Who know, maybe they will appreciate some honesty if you tell them how you feel...?

Best of luck to you. 

@SOFFY9 The most important person to impress  is you, not your brother. Supporting oneself and being independent is important, and there are multiple ways to make a living.

You may want to look into other career options that use some of your skills. Maybe you have health insurance that pays for counseling. 

Best wishes.

Hello Soffy,

It sounds like you really love your big brother and look up to him, but you feel a lot of pressure to live up to his expectations. Even when he tried to remind you that it’s okay, it feels like there’s a part of you that just really wants to meet his expectations and be the person you think he wants you to be. I wonder if these expectations come a place of wanting to please your brother and bring him joy rather than real expectations from himself? Would you say that your brother, if he knew about how much you’ve struggled so far to be a better version for him, would be okay with how hard you’ve been on yourself? Sometimes, it is harder to sit with our own expectations rather than someone else’s because it comes from a place of wanting to feel deserving of love and care from the ones that matter to us. We tend to be harder on ourselves than others, so this can happen a lot.

Hey i can help you boss