I wrote this today
Does my brother know I love him?
He doesn’t
But we both have trauma
He knows it as much as he can
Neither of us always know we are loved by people
Doing this to us was wrong
No one saved us
As stressed as it makes me to say it,
We had people who helped us
I get so stressed when I change my thinking, even to positive thinking
Autism
And no one understands the trauma
I love getting hugged by the guy I love. [[[[ just a little edit here for the reader: I am now talking about my ex-boyfriend/current best friend and we love each other quite a bit ]]]]
The hug feels like he understands something about the trauma
I feel he tries to understand the trauma
Maybe he researches those books a lot because he wants to understand me
My dog
He was lucky
I was lucky to have my dog he always understood
He didn’t always understand everything, but he always understood some
An autism dog
An autism service dog
An autism service dog without the training
Met me where I was
Oh God, where I’d be if he never taught me animal social interactions. He’d taught me camels and hamsters and horses and dogs and moose. He taught me what I needed to master interacting with rats and mice and maybe cattle and taught me quite well about parrots and worms and fish and insects. This year, a bee visited my birthday party and acted quite politely. I love that she visited. I’m thankful for that guest. I received a gift in which I get to track a sea turtle. Welcome addition to my life. And so many other welcome additions.
He had faith in me that I could learn. I was another species. People haven’t been so patient and meeting me where I am.
Faith.
Without him, I think I would’ve been far more traumatized by 13. He was the most levelheaded one in the house. He was sent by God.
The man I love was also sent by God.
I get scared he doesn’t know how much I appreciate him.
I trust his opinions so fast. It’s good for my mental health when he’s happy. He’s wiser than I am and he’s a year younger than I am
and I’m unbelievably wise. He’s wiser and I’m wider. Ha! He’s wise.
Calmer, just for a second
Mood instability. I have BPD
But he’s wise, though. And I appreciate him extremely much.
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@TheComedianDreamer hi sweetie ❤ I'm sorry I had to leave you this morning. I understand trauma unfortunately. I am also a different species, brought to this world, the real world a few years ago. I would think your brother, your best friend, both know exactly how much you love them and need them. ❤❤ your a very strong special person dreamer. I'm always here for you ❤ gives you a giant festive tiny hug ❤❤squeezes you tightly ❤❤ everything is gonna be ok ❤I'm right here with you ❤
Thank you. I do struggle with having proper social interactions with humans. I think because social changes and news and stuff make humans change the social rules faster sometimes and so if you’re not up-to-date on events, you might make mistakes.
Just one quick thing though 😂: I meant I’m a different species from my dog. He was great. He taught me dog psychology and had faith I could do well in dog interactions and interactions with other animals even though I was human. Thanks to him, I’ve since connected with camels, helped an elephant, received meat and protection as gifts from wild vultures, worked with aggressive dogs, had some bees visit me calmly and happily (one was sick or injured and the other needed some of my food as, unknown to those wild vultures, I’m vegetarian and so are the local bees, mostly, and she was having trouble finding natural food sources I guess), helped a termite recover when she lost her wings in an injury and trusted me, lots of important experiences with lots of species.
@TheComedianDreamer oh wow! Dreamer that's awsome. Connecting with animals is a very honourable thing to do ❤ you've really made a difference in the animal kingdom, good for you ❤❤and I knew that's what you meant 👀👀😂😂
how are you feeling today??
@Tinywhisper11 and yeah me too ❤ I never actually had a conversation with anyone for 18 years, now trying to live in the real world and trying to learn everything it's just so overwhelming. In the chat group rooms, I often have no idea what people are talking about, makes me feel kinda dumb. So I understand it's hard ❤ gives you a giant festive tiny hug ❤ merry Christmas sweetie ❤