I think my boyfriend deeply dislikes my culture

@Dulcinea1 Your bf has an improvised world view.

@Dulcinea1

Perhaps he does not want you to play it because he feels left out as you understand the lyrics and he does not..... granted one can appreciate different music with out understanding a language but he may feel embarrassed or not sure if he should try to embrace your heritage and learn some.

i know my Spouse acts mad when he feels like he is not informed on something as much as i am.

I understand you. I've been in this situation myself. But with one of my friends. I tried to explain to her that it's part of my culture and I was trying to be open to every song she would listen but if I was putting only one song that I liked she was getting mad. She even told me once that without her I would be alone and that I should only listen to what she wants. I'm glad we're not friends anymore. Real friends don't do that.

Maybe your boyfriend is feeling this way because he doesn't understand the lyrics or something. But honestly I think he should respect it because it is part of your culture and this is what you like. And if you respect his music he should do the same.

@Dulcinea1

I am not sure why he doesn't just let you listen to some music you like. Compromise is part of being in relationship.

I can understand why its not enjoyable to him. Much of what i like about music is the lyrics. If i can't understand them i can't appreciate them.

@Dulcinea1

Your Don Quixote is taking this too far and seems even insulting. Everyone's taste is different in music. Is he the same about food, TV programs and the like? Of course you speak at least two languages and he might just understand English.

If you feel your relationship is worth continuing, I'd play the news on the car radio.

@Dulcinea1

Hello Dulcinea1. I am sorry that you are being treated like this in any capacity. Having people say things like that is horrible. He seems to see it as a personal attack that you put on music he does approve of. That's concerning. I hope this doesn't happen with other aspects of your lives.

Personally, I don't like most Spanish music. They have the same genres like any other language. I prefer ones that I can understand the words to because sometimes I'll like the beat to the song and than learn that I hate what it means. I am also not a fan of the beats used in popluar Spanish music in the US. I also don't like most rap music but that's another story.

As you've said, he gets set off by even one song being played. And it sounds like it's not just Spanish music. He only likes the same few. That's more than "he doesn't like my culture". That's controlling and "he is doesn't like change". While I also have a specific preference, I would never stop a person from playing their music unless it's the same crap all the time. Then I'll say "You burned that one. Something else or I'm taking over". Your boyfriend sounds like he's just being an a-hole and he needs to grow up and realize that he's not the only one that matters in the relationship. That mentality makes it seem like it's all about him and you're just along for the ride. That's not what a relationship is.

This sounds flat out racist. I had an ex boyfriend who would never let me play my music. He eventually became abusive. Be careful and take care.

@Dulcinea1

Like... What he's saying sounds ignorant, if not potentially racist. And also, the way he's treating you about it seems kind of abusive. I'm not here to tell you what to do, but I feel like bad situation relationships start with things like this. Maybe he's capable of communicating and respecting you, but I'm surprised that people can be more understanding of him in these comments with the way you portrayed him, because it really does sound like some deep-seated disrespect. In fact, I feel like he should feel lucky to have you there to introduce him to better music from your culture and maybe even translate the gist of it for him.... And like you said, you don't even listen to it all the time anyway.

Overall, I feel like you deserve better. Maybe it's a better him, or a better someone else. I hope that he could have a conversation about the respect part of this. Because it's one thing to compromise on what you listen to together, but it's another thing to compromise *yourself* in what you're "allowed" to listen to.