Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

I think I might have some ocd or something? Either way I keep thinking bad things a bit

LonleyCheese May 20th, 2023

I feel like I should put a TW here? just in case, you know? want yall to keep your brains safe. I'm going to talk some about bad thinks in my brain and skinpicking and I will most likley get a little bit into descriptions more than necesary, so if that sort of thing is not cool for you then please leave for your own safety. I love you guys I do


Anyway yeah, I think I might have some very mild OCD or some other related thing because I am near entirely sure I have dermatillomania (skin-picking disorder), because every day I pick at my skin and I can't stop. I tried to get a streak of how many days I could stop for but I couldn't get through the whole day without doing it. I got close though, will try again when I've got less spots. Dermatollomania is an OCD-related disorder I'm pretty sure, either that or anxiety related.

My picking isn't so bad personally, my skin doesn't usually leak, but it does get a little reddish/pink, and sometimes it just hurts. Especially if I have scabs from another event, I'll pick them off frequently. And like I said it's not really intense picking, just frequent. I do have a bit of discoloration scattered around the tops of my arms, and some stretch marks from pulling my arms in weird directions to get the backs of them, and some skin that's a different color and texture on my chest.

Sometimes when I can't get a bad spot out then I just scratch so bad and I get really scared of myself, even though it isn't that bad. Then I imagine myslef doing it so much worse and I can see my hands in my head, I can see them almost. Just for a moment though, never very long. And the trance, I get into a trance where yes, I am thinking, but I can't really stop from picking. I am mentally screaming at myself when it's bad scratching, but sometimes I look in the mirror and all I have to say is "no" and I just don't? it fluctuates

Yes- I have tried trimming my nails short but it just makes it worse, because then, yes, its true- I can't pick. But I still try, which hurts my fingers and I scratch I feel crazy when I do that and it's scary. I broke a thumb nail recently and it is not helping at all but I've still got my left one. I usually pick at my chest, face/arms, random scabs, back, legs, in that order (most frequent to least frequent) Honestly I used to pick my arms the most so that is why they're a bit discolored I think

It's really annoying honestly, and it just sucks. I need to stop, I'm scared it will get so bad, I'm scared of what I keep imagining. any ideas to stop thinking at all would be appreciated

3
GoldenRuleJG May 20th, 2023

@LonleyCheese thank you for sharing your experience - if you are curious about whether you have ocd you may want to think about if you would feel it beneficial to chat with a general practitioner or doctor about why you feel ocd. Maybe just screenshot your post for memo 📝❤️

2 replies
LonleyCheese OP May 21st, 2023

@GoldenRuleJG Yeah those are probably good ideas, thank you! We'll see

1 reply
GoldenRuleJG May 22nd, 2023

@LonleyCheese yes I know it can be tricky to be so open about your mental health - I hope whatever you decide is good for you and any support you seek is helpful 🙏❤️

load more
load more