Idk wht to say properly so this hope you'll understand
So... Idk if its ok for me to say but i will i started playing a game online where i met a guy he told his age his 19 i was 16 at tht time later from one of his i got to know he is 26,,, 10 years older than me I was ald so madly in love with me tht it was hard for me tk let him go we are not in a relationship he is not my boyfrnd but he gets hurt when I talk to guy i removed them immediately
Once he was there in game flirting with a girl I was so upset so for like a revenge like thing i added a guy named ash to my socials n i didn't told him I removed tht guy ash after 5 to 6 days but after several month because of some arguments of my frnd ash was the mutual frnd so i had to add him again but this time somehow he got to know this so he was very upset still he gave me a chance but now he is very mean like always he is very rude n says if there was some other guy he would never keep a girl like me with him he would kick me n let me suffer n stuff,, he are on good terms sometimes n sometimes bad ,,after our argument he regrets being mean to me so he says sorry as well but now my mental health is in a very bad state im depressed n he doesnt know tht now he only ignores me n misunderstands me idk how to make him understand my side, n my words are so weird sometimes like sentence tht he thinks am lying to him i tend to forget things easily n yes i did lie to him about tht ash guy but later told him evrything ik its my fault as well
Hi @sliaa3quii✨ I hope I’m understanding this correctly… Have you thought about thinking about yourself first…? What do you really want? What is important for you? It seems to me that you are “paying a lot of attention” to someone that is a lot older than you and that seems to be controlling you… that, right there is a red flag - getting upset because you add someone? Or talk to someone? Or telling you that he will “make you sad or suffer”? That is not healthy for you… I invite you to take time for yourself, and see that you are very important and valuable ✨ Take care!
I want him but this suffering is out of control i want him n his love which ik he will never give even rn he is ignoring me from like 10 n now its 2.33 i didn't ate anything idk im going crazy over him he says he doesnt likes me still he is like this i dont get it he is a nice person he says i hurt u because i want u to leave me cuz we have no future together
Dear @sliaa3quii✨ thank you for sharing this with me… I can only kindly tell you that you have to take care of yourself first - I understand that you want him and his love, but my question was directed more to: what do you really want? Do you want someone that doesn’t want to be with you? Why…? You deserve someone that wants to be with you, that is happy and proud to be with you, definitely not someone that makes you suffer!! Please take care, breath, drink slowly a little bit of water and do something that makes you smile, even if it is something really small
I cant do anything i feel so depressed rn tht he is just ignoring me i never thought I would evn download this apps to help myself but i literally have no one except him i only talk to him thts it evn tho he doesn't gives me time i wait for him he comes thn we talk we argue but being with him makes me happy i cant eat idk y like ya am hungry but i just cant the sadness overwhelmes me so much tht its hurts i can only cry,,, thanks for like replying n encouraging me
@sliaa3quii
It sounds really tough dealing with someone who's inconsistent in how they treat you, especially since there was initial dishonesty about his age. This isn't a great foundation for any relationship, whether it's friendship or something more. Trust is key, and it seems like it's been shaken up quite a bit here.
Feeling hurt and reacting, like when you added Ash, is completely human. It’s troubling, though, that he holds you to certain standards while he doesn't hold himself to the same ones. It's not fair for him to flirt with others but get upset if you merely talk to other guys.
The way he's been treating you (being mean and then apologizing) can be very confusing and make you question your self-worth, which isn't good for your mental health. You mentioned feeling depressed and misunderstood, which are significant feelings that need to be addressed. You deserve to be heard and supported.
Maybe think about what boundaries you need with him to protect your well-being. If talking it out hasn’t worked, or if it’s difficult to make him understand your perspective, you might need to consider how beneficial this relationship is for you. It’s perfectly okay to step back from situations or relationships that are more hurtful than they are supportive.
Talking to a counselor could really help too. They can provide a safe space for you to express yourself and help you navigate what you need from your relationships to truly feel valued and respected. You deserve that kind of care and understanding.
He is fully in the wrong, he's way older than you and you shouldn't put up with such clear double standards. He can with other girls but the moment you flirt with a single guy he goes mad and tells you to remove them. He's someone you may originally think you love, however, I recommend you step back and ask yourself if you are truly in love with him. If this is your first crush it's hard to determine if it's love or just a personal feeling of wanting someone who could love you which is common if you never had prior relationships. There are many people you will and possibly fall in love with in the future who won't lie about their age, get mad at you for pointing out their flaws or ignore you, you have a good life ahead of you and you'll meet many better people.
An apology is not a good way to judge if he redeemed himself, in many toxic relationships the abusive partner will apologise and try to appear good again in their partner's eyes, to encourage them to stay with them. If this pattern continues it's going to destroy you mentally because it will occupy a lot of your thoughts and repeat over and over again.
I don't know the nature of your relationship (how much personal info you shared, the nature of your conversations, etc) besides what you posted, he's way too childish, he is your senior and should know not to act the way he does towards you, I would highly recommend seeking a counsellor if you don't want to involve your parents or stop talking to him the moment he gets mad at you because at that point your safety will be impacted and I'd hate to see you lose your mind over that type of person.
I hope you find a solution, and feel free to post here again if you need somewhere to vent.
-Sunnylake
Thankss it means alot but now i dont know how can i go away I had a relationship before but i just feel like i cant leave this guy because maybe he needs me we are evn frnds evn tho he doesnt likes me it feels like somewhere he does idk how n it sucks ngl first i used to think he doesn't but nowadays i fwel like he does n the thing tht hurts is his words he's to mean i cant forget later n he ßys thid...thanks sunny once again
