IIt’s been too long since I had a friend.
I don’t know exactly what this feeling is, but I’ll share a little bit about my past. I’ve always had social anxiety and struggled in school to make friends. I was insulted and bullied by many. I always tried to escape from social gatherings to feel safe. Things got worse when I was diagnosed with scoliosis. I lost the few friends I had because I wasn’t cool to them anymore.
I’m 21 now, and all of this has significantly impacted the way I see myself. I started seeing positive changes when I tried to fix this through journaling. But right now, I feel clueless about what exactly this new feeling is. I want a friend, but I always end up being too good to others, only to be replaced by someone else. It feels like I’ve never truly discovered my social identity.
@considerateFan5574
i really think it's ok to take as much time you need to discover your social identity... the way I see it...it is "social" so has more to do with the people around you than you... perhaps the people so far haven't been as welcoming for you to be more open to being yourself around them... it isn't your fault if you weren't given the chance to express yourself as how you want to 💕 you deserve people who think your cool at all times simply for being you!!
@considerateFan5574
Hello, how have you been?
I'm sorry to hear that you're going through hard times right now. I know what it feels like to feel very lonely and deal with mean people. But in spite of the pain, please keep on fighting and don't ever give up on finding new friends because good things take time. And sometimes, a LOT of time. Conquering and beating social anxiety and loneliness takes a lot of time as well, so please be patient with yourself. And remember that whenever you feel down/lonely, you can always reach out to people here in 7 cups, because venting is actually an important step to healing and feeling better.
I'm rooting for you and I want you to be happy and do well in life. Take care 
Thank you for your support. It means alot to me. Im still trying to get some friends through my hobbies. Trying new apps everyday once i get someone i think i will live a balanced life.
@considerateFan5574
That's great to hear that you're trying to make new friends using apps.
Oh and also, what are your hobbies? :D
I do sketching, i tried attaching it here but it isn't working.
@considerateFan5574
Oh, i used to draw a lot too actually, but as times goes on, i started losing my passion for art :") but sometimes doing art helps me when i'm feeling down
@pinkKite8784
And also, don't ever listen to the bullies and the mean voices in your head, because they're all LIES. and for the people who left you because of your illness, don't bother about them, because real friends stick with each other through thick and thin, and they are NOT your real friends. Having scoliosis doesn't make you uncool or a burden, just like having social anxiety doesn't mean that there's anything wrong with you. It just means that you need extra help, and that' totally okay.
You deserve to have friends who support you whenever you feel ill/down. It may take a while to find real friends, but they do exist, and i hope one day you'll find them <3
