How do I get over a breakup?
I’m having a very tough time after a break up. I’m not sure how to move on and find myself again. 😭
Any help is welcome like stories, inspiration, or just hugs!! 🤗
Here’s my story. We were together two months never official. She texted me she broke up because she got kicked out of college and wasn’t ready to date. She couldn’t call me after I asked. Two days before we broke up she agreed to be exclusive. I checked in on her around Christmas and she initially responded but then ignored my next text asking if she was okay since she told me she wasn’t okay which left me really upset. She was my first relationship. Me and my ex met up about three months ago at a bar coincidentally. We said hi and she bought me a drink. I asked her how she was. We later met up again at another bar. I bought her a drink and we talked more about the future and her issues. I told her I lost my friends and couldn't find them, but I told her l'd leave if she wanted me to and she never said to. On our second shot we hugged and I told her if she ever wanted to try again that it would be fine with me. She said she really wished she didn’t have to break up and didn’t want things to end that way. She went back to her friends and I just stood by myself at the bar trying to get ahold of my friends on my phone. A couple minutes later I saw her run out of the bar by herself. I was concerned because it's bad area and I didn't want her to be alone. I went out and asked her if she was okay. She said she was trying to go home but her ride canceled. I bought her way back into the bar because they weren't accepting anymore people. She told me she wasn't coming home with me that night and I said I know that. When we got back in we got a drink to make up for me paying for her to get back in. We talked about me potentially visiting at work for ice treatment and she said that would be fine and to text her if I needed anything. Then I stupidly asked her to dance because I was drunk. She said that at that point she just wanted to go home. I just talked to her other male friends as I waited for my friends to respond. They appeared to be friendly with me. I truly wasn’t trying to be a jerk. Her female friends gave me dirty looks. When the bar shut down I asked her what I should do she gave me advice of either walking to my cousins or getting an Uber and told me to text her when I get back home. I texted her and she responded nicely saying thanks for checking in. The next day I asked her about visiting at work and she didn't reply so I followed up the next day. This time she replied with a nasty text saying that I followed her around and that it was very uncomfortable. She said I took the whole situation too far and that she didn't want to date or be exclusive and that she wouldn't feel comfortable with me at her work. She then said that this would be our last conversation and she wishes me the best of luck in my endeavors. She then unadded me on snap. After everything I did for her I felt horrible. All I've ever done for her was protect her and try to make her happy. She was kicked out of college and broke up with me and I was upset. I just hope she knows that that is not who I am. I recently saw her on a dating app which hurt as well. Then she unfollowed me on instagrams after I posted on my story. I already unfollowed her a while ago.
But don’t lose yourself! They didn’t make you who you are. You are who you are with or without them. Maybe they had a good impact, but ultimately you choose who you are. Be thankful for the time you had together. If you believe in God, God made your relationship happen for a reason and ended it for a reason. Maybe think about that, but the answer may not be there now. Try and heal yourself. I hopped right back on dating apps because I just wanted attention from someone, but it was not healthy and I have been on and off of them over the past couple months. So I’d recommend healing yourself first and trying to not lose your feelings for your ex, but get used to life without them. When you’ve done that get back out there. Find someone new. I’m on date number 2 with my second girl and I’m having fun, but going into without expectations and just letting it rip
@Imissit5567
great advice! sounds like me and you are pretty similar, lol.
after my first break up, I was in a dark place. apparently my ex moved on in two days, and it took me about 5 months to get over it.
basically, we started dating, being happy, lovey dovey, but I didn't have a phone at this time so we would just talk at school or on ***, which I barely had access to. so, summer came, and I didn't have a single way to talk to him. we came back to school this year, and a few days before the Halloween dance, he sent me a text on *** that changed us forever.
he wanted to break up. so I cried a little bit, one tear... probably. we kept talking, and I had to go, so that was it. we never talked again. like I mentioned, it took me 5 months. my friends weren't that much of a great help... whenever I talked about him or his new gf, they would say "just get over it" and I would go off in my head, thinking things like "how about you try getting into your first relationship where you feel loved and respected and it suddenly ends on a night that you had the most fun dancing on?" but I would shrug their comments off and I always had to pretend that I was okay.
because of that, I only cried 2 times after our breakup. it wasn't healthy at all, I always pushed down my feelings for him.
but those 5 months passed, and I barely remember them. now, I've grown and met someone new, who respects me, we communicate, we understand each other, and we're both loved. so, don't give up during this time. it'll pass! not now, and don't wish for it to go away.
live through this time, grow through it, and reflect on yourself, think of this as a new beginning. I believe in you, you should believe in yourself. work on staying healthy, maybe do some things you like, try to get out into the world and open yourself to anyone you choose to. there are listeners here, if you want to talk and just get everything out. you'll get through this, we'll all get through this!
@adaptableLand9062
This shall too pass
@adaptableLand9062
Hi,
I'm sorry to hear that you're going through such a tough
time. Breakups can be incredibly challenging, but its important to be
kind to yourself and allow yourself to feel all your emotions. Sometimes
it helps to talk about your feelings or distract yourself with
activities you enjoy. If you ever need tochat, there are many listeners
here, including myself, who are here to support you. Sending you lots of
positive vibes and virtual hugs!🤗
@adaptableLand9062 Big hugs... if you need to talk anytime, feel free to reach me out.
@adaptableLand9062
Sending you 100 Hugs! Hang in there!
@adaptableLand9062 Hello! I'm sorry to hear you're having a hard time. Take time to yourself and do things that you find fun to keep your mind off of the breakup.
Perhaps force yourself to participate in stuff that you like? But anyways I know it's hard hope you are well❤️❤️