Giving way too much is never the answer

So I just we want to express my pain off being well for my age I’m young but I just over this weekend. It was the first time I learned what I couldn’t see. I wasn’t aware of that if you constantly give too much and this becomes normal to you because you really want to care the attention. The whole lie back from people but sadly, I’m an open book. I always give too much whether it is the beginning of middle or end always And I was still giving too much even when the people disappeared on me because I was like what is happening when you have no guidance in life or no one to tell you this stuff I didn’t have this knowledge, but I was basically you know like this was very natural to me that I will be a giver Gift long messages or anything. I was always there for people when I realize nobody is here for me, they all left me. I was being abandoned on so many times and sadly it’s like weeks. It’s going smoothly and then it’s about a month and they are gone well the time can be different. You know I’m just my experiences are these I feel totally disheartened. I feel now so alone I have to be strong on my own and I just know that I have to protect myself so much and care like never before and I can’t do this the wrong way or I can’t always be giving my effort, energy and everything I have because it is just not worth it it doesn’t count and even if people are not aware or they are being aware What basically happens is that they always take it when a ditch that I can’t see and they are using me, but I was never able to see this before and I went after one expert this weekend and just for one trivia thing that I wanted to ask and we seriously ended up discussing all of this so now you can imagine that I wanted to ask for just one little thing and I realize that my problem is much more bigger and so much hurt. I realize so much I really did reflect and I see all the patterns of how people were using me Too to have company because I was optimistic. I was friendly I was open. I was trying to help or just to pass time or anything that was convenient for that period you know so please just say this from me and do not end up like I do now because I have to heal and this is tremendous work. I am by myself. I have to hold myself there is no one and I realize that everything I put to this people all my hopes all my care it never get back to me and it’s so hard but yes, I was being used and not just once this happened many times because unfortunately, if you are a good person and if you also have this energy and this positivity that actually I learned by myself and I was trying to tell people that hey you can learn this too, and this is how I do it but they just took it off from me until they left me empty and completely mentally shattered And like crumble down and I realize I can’t trust people. I realize I can’t see people and everyone of the same that they don’t all deserve the same and I can’t see them that they are all good because they are not good for me and I was giving everything to the wrong people and now I have to get up. You know when there’s no one that will help you but yourself to you know restore everything that those people took from you and be better and stronger version of yourself now but I just wanted to tell you that I’ve been doing this for years and if it wasn’t for this weekend and I think the guy that this happened because if it really didn’t happen, I would have continue until forever and you know what would happen if I continue any longer I mean whether it is our family relatives or anyone out there strangers or people because I just really wanted to connections and friends. I always just want to give too much of myself every single time And I realize now that they really like me that I am trained and that I feel like I’m a lifeless person without who I have been before because I realize I give so much every single time because I didn’t want to have a regrets I want to you know see the opportunity. It is actually what my condition taught me because this year it really worsened with me so overall I just went out there. I wanted to socialize you know, but I took it by the wrong and see and I know this is not my fault and usually I’ve been told this that it is not my fault and also like the self pity or pity from others that you know, I don’t deserve it and everything but nobody told me the solution. Nobody mentioned to me that I should give less or have some boundaries since I never had limits because I’m just way too kind you Know so if you’re in the same stage of life if you realize it if you are going to protect yourself now just know that you’re still a good person and I’m really proud that now you’re going to do this and restore everything that the world and those people take Duke from you and I will do the same. It’s not our fault that we are this kind. We really just want to see the best in the people, but people are not the best and many times we can end up used and heard very badly Even if we are not being attacked or being treated badly. This is also very bad treatment and this is also something that when happens it is very hard to accept and move on from because you know that you are by yourself when you need to heal and everything that belongs to your state or your mental stage now when you know that you have to come out of it strong and you can’t give up even if all those people gave up on such precious soul that you have been that I have been and it hurts so much but I’m here to tell you this is the pain I feel and this is Why I will try to heal my best, but never ever do the same things I did for the people ever again❤️‍🩹❣️